I fell for this one mf who happened to be my friend, she said she likes me too. But now that we are dating she doesn't give a fuck about me?

[Lucy_009]

We used to be pretty close friends, I know what type of humor sh
e has. I liked her for 2 months but I was sure about it. Me who is afraid of commitments , committed in this relationship being confident about the love I had for her. She said she won't ever cheat, and to trust her. Ik she's trust worthy but after 20 days it all started to seem weird. She always stays with her friends, I don't have a problem with that but she could at least come and tell me she's busy. Im the one who always approaches her first. When I told her about that, she was like my friends are gonna be in different sec or whatever, when we don't even talk five minutes a day. Recently on our prom day, I asked her to dance with me, she said she didn't liked the song, and left. And then I went to her classroom , she rudely said why was I there. After that I checked insta, and found a video where she was dancing with her friend, very happily. I just don't know what to do. It's drowning me out. It will be a help if u guys suggest what I should do

Updates

+1 y

We broke up. It's was like one sided love even tho we were in a relationship. Whatever happens, happens for good I guess.

[caring__1]

Never tell another person what needs to change. Instead, share what types of things you appreciate. No one's going to change for you. This is who she chooses to be. Accept her as she is or move on.

I'm sensing you're confused, as both of you are using the same terminology, yet defining those words differently. Ask her to define what a relationship is for her and how it differs from a friendship. She may be too inexperienced to give you more than she was indoctrinated to believe. In that case, seek clarification and examples.

She may also still be struggling to define her own sexual orientation, so she may be uncomfortable exposing aspects she's still questioning. Maybe she's hiding the relationship from others and feels a need to constantly prove she's not in a relationship with you. Girls can playfully dance with each other, yet she may fear you'll want to dance more intimately, and she may not be ready for that type of exposure.

She may be too young and immature to be in a relationship with anyone. Don't take this personally. You're expecting her to be at your stage of maturity, and apparently she isn't. Maybe just continue to be her friend and wait for a relationship till she is mature enough to handle one.

[Lucy_009]

She is confident about her sexuality. Almost everyone knows we are dating and I don't think she's nervous about coming out or something. The thing is one day she treats me all good and another day she pretends as if I don't even exists. She told me she wants to have emotional connection more. But whenever I try to talk when she's sad , she pushes me away. It's fine I don't also like to open up to anyone when I'm sad. But the fact she was sitting with the girl she danced with on prom day makes me feel so insecure and untrustworthy. the girl is her close friend too ik that girl will never date my one. But the fact that I'm the one who always reaches out first. The first to text. The first to do anything. But she always reaches out to them , talk to them , spends time with her the most. Where she is my first priority and I don't think I'm on the most top10 priorities. I mean if something is bothering her she should tell me maybe I won't be a help but I can at least listen to her. And if she's having problems, and can't share with me I can at least give some comfort or freaking talk. She's pushing me and when I ask about it she says " I can only open up to that girl" . I fell like I'm desperate for her love. What if I bring out the topic about her dancing with that girl, and she say '' u Don't trust and you are over reacting "? Ik she won't say that but at least a part of her will say I'm clingy or desperate. But I just want to know how she doing.

[Lucy_009]

And the dance she did was so sexual , the whole class could feel the tension. I just don't why she is doing that. What's the reason behind that. If she thinks , she is doing that to make me jealous she is absolutely wrong. It's making me insecure and feeling pathetic in every possible way

[caring__1]

The two of you aren't equally invested. It's as if she sees you as a play toy or a convenience. Nothing you do will make you a priority to her. You have nothing to gain by bringing up the dance, as that will only put her on the defensive. A relationship is based on balance, and the only balance you have is what you create in your head. She's not ready to settle down. You can stick it out and hope for the best, but you're more likely to experience frustration and disappointment than happiness and fulfillment. She might be able to provide you with momentary pleasure (at her convenience), but you're unlikely to experience the depth you're seeking with her. She may bounce between extremes, but that won't give you long-term stability.

I know you don't want to hear this, but I'd pass on this opportunity. We need to be true to ourselves. The more you compromise to hold onto her, the more of yourself you'll be losing. That's not fair to yourself or any quality partner you meet in the future. Young love is about exploring and discovering, not choosing a life-long partner before even learning what works best for you. Most people struggle with letting go of their first major crush, yet you don't want to stagnate in a dysfunctional situation.

[Lucy_009]

I met up with her today, we didn't got too much time. But it was worth it. I asked her how a relationship is different than a friendship? She replied that " To be in a relationship, being friends is really important. Like if we have never be friends, we wouldn't have able to become what we are now. But relationship is a different feeling where butterflies, deep Convo, knowing each other, love and affection happens" I asked " so what u said about the thing happens when in a relationship, is that applying to us too?" Finally she apologized saying, she's not mature enough to be in a relationship. But she likes me and everything. And she is well aware she has been hurting me. She apologized so many times. That girl was around too but she didn't seem to care. She said she don't wanna hurt me. also it's her first relationship she just doesn't know what to do. I told her " a relationship is where both people invests, and I'm not telling u to leave everyone for me. Know that I'm not pressuring u to do everything by yourself, if you are struggling, you should u. I asked her if she wanna take a break until she is mature enough to be in a relationship or break up. she replied with " I wanna make time with you". In my opinion, in a relationship we both should try to help each other, not everyone is perfect. It's not like I'm the perfect girlfriend here. So I should help in every possible way. But the thing is It's my first relationship too. So how should I actually date someone? And make her feel good to about herself? I have no idea Lmao I thought she had many experience•́⁠ ⁠ ⁠‿⁠ ⁠,⁠•̀ help.

[Lucy_009]

Tell me*

[caring__1]

Relationship experiences teach us what works and what doesn't. We can't expect people who've never had a relationship to know how to create and nurture one. You can have a discussion with your friend about books she's read or movies she's seen or relationships she's observed, and then ask her what seems to work for her from these examples. We can learn a lot by observing others. We discover what we like and what we don't like. We discover what energizes a relationship and what leads to its death. Don't put so much pressure on yourself to know what to do. You're going through a stage of exploration and discovery. No one can expect you to be an expert. It's not about rushing to the end goal, but learning to savor the journey.

[caring__1]

Each relationship is unique, so there is no one-size-fits-all approach. No one can tell you what will work for you, so just experiment and see how each option impacts you and your partner. If you keep your eyes open, you'll find things you enjoy. Just remember we have more stability when we balance in the center than when we attempt to balance extremes.

[Guy13]

Too much drama. Move on in life and away from one another.

[Lucy_009]

isn't dating or being in a relationship all a drama but yet beautiful? I love her

[ohvanillalattegal]

Girl, that’s not okay at all. You need to have a heart to heart talk about how it’s affecting you, and if she’s not willingly to give you that love that she talked about… while knowing you’re hurting and neglected… she ain’t it. Life isn’t supposed to hurt like this.

[Lucy_009]

If she doesn't last with me, I will never be able to love someone again. It hurts so much. Like man I love her so much and she doesn't give a fuck about me. Why did she even say yes to my confession. It's like one sided. There was this one day, in school, we won in volleyball so the next day no memeber attend classes , we all bunked class and took pictures. She was there, the girl that she danced with was also there. When I was gonna hug her , she didn't hugged me back and went back to her friends. And didn't look at me for once the whole time literally 5 hours, and talking? Ugh. I just couldn't manipulate myself anymore by thinking she's busy. I went to the library with my friends and cried so much. And she didn't came to look for me for once

[ohvanillalattegal]

If you’re really 18 as your profile stated, I think this is just one of those early first experience of learning what you may want from a partner. I’m sorry your girlfriend hasn’t been treating you well and that’s not okay.

Unfortunately sometime people have a change of heart and mind if she will continue to treat you bad. I would encourage you to give her a talk on how you feel and see what she says. If she continue to neglect, then I think you know you deserve better and its time to say bye to her.

[hellomellow7]

In my opinion, either completely back off stop reaching out to her make her miss you. If she does then it’s worth pursuing the relationship, if she doesn’t reach out then break up with her bc you’re more valuable then five minutes a day.

[Lucy_009]

:((((

[Avicenna]

Tell her what needs to change

[Lucy_009]

Wouldn't that make her feel like I'm controlling her or being clingy?

[In_Trance]

Go your separate ways

[Lucy_009]

I can't just break up with her

[In_Trance]

That's up to you.
I don't see why you wouldn't

[Lucy_009]

She said to trust her , she won't cheat. And her friends are close with me they said that she actually loves me , she just sucks at showing affection and told me to hold her and talk. Everything I try to talk she's pushing me away. The next day she acts like a total green flag. Im really confused and it creating a really mental pressure for me

[In_Trance]

I don't know what you're waiting for.
The behavior to change?
No gonna happen.
If you don't like it now, you never will.

Go your separate ways