How do I find a sweet, gentle guy who respects women?

[Anonymous]

I'm sick of my boyfriends always being bossy and rude and sexist and I'm sick of them roughing me up and making me endure hard sex

[PositiveFlight]

This was sad to read. I empathize with you. Much of the questions I answer here (if you look at my past answers) cover this very issue you are struggling with. I would tell you to start from within. Be honest with yourself on what you are looking for in the correct traits of a man. Some of these traits should be first and foremost self-respect. When you understand your full self value as a woman, it will be easier to set the bar higher for the type of man you allow into your life. Now this is easier said than done, I agree. Every girl wants to belong to someone, and even more importantly to be genuinely loved. It’s unfortunate that many girls will give way beyond what they should give in the hopes that the guy they are with will actually start to love them. For instance, a lot of younger women will allow a guy to do things to her sexually that in her better judgment she wouldn’t allow because she honestly doesn’t like it. And who would like it? But a lot of younger women will pretend to like the treatment and selfish disrespect for a while and even tell themselves they like it, all in hopes that they’re giving mentality will cause her man to realize that she is giving her all to him. The hope is that he will in turn love her. When this doesn’t happen because she finds out that he is selfish, it begins to hurt immensely. My suggestion is to be upfront and honest about the type of man you want in your life. If you want a husband or boyfriend who is kind, mature, and selfless, make it known. Make it known that you expect respect. If you want true love in your life, first realize that you are worthy and good enough to be truly loved. Secondly, make it known that you will not give of yourself and your body unless it is based on the foundation of true love. Upfront, set some boundaries. When you get to the point of being sexual, let it be known that you want to be treated with respect sexually and that your body should not be objectified or treated violently during an act that is meant to display love. These are all things you can achieve. It’s all about the types of men you allow to have access to you. It’s also about knowing YOU truly, being true to yourself, and genuinely trying to understand the healthy relationship dynamics/differences between men and women. We as opposite sexes are supposed to be one another’s complementary opposite and helpmate in life, not an enemy we sleep with. True love should spell joy and happiness, not heartache. Making love should be tender and selfless as one flesh, pleasurable, feeling safe and desired, loved, relaxed, natural, de-stressed, released, healthy, satisfied, and cherished. It should not hurt, feel humiliated, degraded, beat, strangled, scary, violent, etc.

[CanadianLearner]

Strange, I think part of the reason the last woman left me hanging was the sex wasn't rough enough to her liking.

It sounds like you are dating the wrong men.

But if you go too far in the other direction (i. e., "nice"), they might turn you off for other reasons.

[Anonymous]

Get a white European man, a nice Spanish dude, Asian dude, or a black man who has manners.
White American men are ruined.

[LazerBean]

Be more critical when deciding who you date, stop having sex with them so soon.

[CruelSun7]

Don't let him do what he wants to do you and be resistant to him. If he is a kind person, he will understand your sentiment and let you be more relaxed. Today the porn and the mainstream media are cause of this "ideal alpha man" profile. You just need to spend more time to know the guy.

[Sparkie460]

Treat the guy like he's a job applicant. Really get to know him first. Discuss everything upfront. Make your boundaries known to him. Make him wait for sex until you are absolutely ready. Don't settle for 2nd best.

[Berethor]

Yea as if we going to believe you that you was not choosing bad boys on purpose. :)

[boggboss]

Just got to keep looking and not out up with guys that treat u that way thinking they will change

[Voldra]

Learn why you're attracted to losers & change. There's a reason you're attracted to those types as your choice/s is the only common denominator.

[Hardworkingguy]

Than you need to meet men in different environments. We're not all the same.

[Nahid1707]

Date when you’re reedy and meet someone who respects YOU

[Anonymous]

Easy… be a respectable female with morals and class.

[EaterPeter]

Hello! It doesn't last long tho

[bamesjond0069]

Lmao you're a blue.

[RandomGuy1032]

Ghats 99% of men. Enjoy.

[Dat-Alpha-Lion]

Wanna chat?

[Anonymous]

🤣🤣🤣