Is it bad that I like my ex's bff?

[Anonymous]

Me and my ex were never anything serious. All that happened was one thing led to another, we ended up kissing and had a thing going for some time. Eventually, she admitted that she used me to get over her crush and we immediately split. She has been in a relationship with someone very toxic for the better part of 3 years now. He for some reason picked up a fight with me that I ended up winning. After that, I didn't speak to my ex ever again (about 2 years).

Recently, my friends introduced me to a girl from their uni and we ended up going out with her a few more times after that. The last time we met up we were flirting we each other, but it didn't go anywhere. A friend noticed and told me the bad news. She's my ex's bff and my ex has shit-talked me to her.

She hasn't said anything bad about me behind my back and acts really warm towards me. I don't know if it's a good idea to pursue her.

[Guy13]

There's so much going on here... Your Ex is exerting Control. Her Bestie is testing the Quality of friend that your Ex actually is while judging, Is he like she said." I am jealous as I would milk this for all it is worth within a "proper manner".

You like her so it is easy. You be you, lead gently with a vision, do NOT be needy, no backbone, puppy dog creepy looking and pet me-pet me pleeeeASE...

You're in the driver's seat... A man interested in a woman in your situation already has the "my man has a backbone and can handle Adversity built-in" IF he can exercise Common Sense and Man-Up simultaneously. It is actually good and a TimeSaver as New Girl does not have to Test with Drama !!!

We are in a visual world so an envisioned Path must be apparent to the girl. And then, boys Plans, Actions, and Behaviors should demonstrate a "working-towards or commitment too" Vision.

No Contact to the Ex AT ALL either person, written, or spoken. End of Story !! There is nothing more that she would like to do than say was"texting you".

Keep all contacts, in all forms and from all places, organized and itemized. You and New Girl are 3 months in... over martini..."you know, Ex has been trying to contact me (show contact efforts)... I feel nothing for her and she's only on my radar because she is immature. I don't want to block her... I wanted to let you know beforehand... I am not trying to be an asshole..."(let her process that and see if she translates that as "he knows we are friend but tried to prioritize me without putting a wedge... I think i love him OR if she's like WTF does that mean. You will be Tested on this from here out and forever !!!

Good luck ;-)

[Marklaw12]

Yes and No.

When you are in a committed relationship, you shouldn't be thinking about your ex' BFF. Maybe that's why it didn't work

Yes,

If your ex' BFF is available try to slide in, don't try to steal her but also remember she might not want you cos she's friend's with your ex.

Just don't force anything man

[Helllo123]

I’ve hooked up with two of my ex boyfriends ex best friends and at the time I was super young like 20’s but I waited years to do it. it wasn’t immediately.

I think if she (your ex) shit talks behind her back thats a huge red flag of the friendship. my advice would be to just befriend her and wait till their friendship ends or you could find out how close they still are.. if they are between the ages of 22-26 everyone at that age thinks everyone is their bff and have like 5 or 8 best friends. so I wouldn't consider their friendship a long one i think it will eventually fizzle out since your ex seems to not like her anyway.

[Bre_0611]

You can think anyone's cute but it's more so of what are you actually doing with that person. If you're trying to seek our validation on wether or not you should have sex with that BFF that's something you and your ex should discuss.

[Anonymous]

I think if you didn't know that this girl is your ex's friend prior to liking her, then it doesn't matter the fact that they're friends. Unless you picked your ex's best friend to make your ex jealous, that would be a different story. Otherwise, I don't think any of these should matter.

[fembotnpc777]

It sounds like your ex just slept with everyone. That's not a very fair situation for friends and family who don't want to be cockblocked by every male in existence because your ex is a ho.

[CA4444]

Well no I don’t think it’s bad, why giving a shit about your ex

[TheNameIsRob]

I personally wouldn’t do that to a friend but you’re free to pursue whoever you want. Doesn’t say much about her if she hooks up with her best friend’s ex.

[Anonymous]

Do it dude. Who gives a shit about your ex? Especially if she shit talked you. You should totally get with her bff and have an awesome realtionship with her.

[Spiritofn]

Glad u asked, yes u r a b1tch and I hope your X's new chick even kicks the shit out of u for that.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to talk it out with her. If your both fine being with each other despite the inconvenience then I think you should go for it. She needs to be prepared to lose her as a friend though.

[DiegoO]

Bro, keep off. There are lot of women's. Avoid a potencial headache.

[red324]

Sounds like she already knows and doesn't care because she likes you.

[serious_miss419]

Follow your gut and learn the lessons from the result. You seem resistant -

[art84]

I wouldn't unless you want your ex girlfriend and her best friend getting involved.

[Anonymous]

You need to get a life and move on. It's not bad its pretty psychotic

[Fuentes]

Probably not a great idea

[EaterPeter]

Yes.