Would you date yourself if you were the other sex?

[Anonymous]

Updates

1 y

I think I’m happy enough with myself that I would.

[zeitgeist057]

Wow, that's a great question and really makes me think.

No, I don't think I would date me. Well, maybe I would? I don't know, it depends on what I was looking for. I think I would be a lot of fun to hang out with, and I can be very nice, fun, generous, &c. So, a pleasant experience for the most part.

I also think it is tough to date me, I'm also selfish and have boundaries so I don't always please the other person first, which I think is what a lot of people look for. I know I look for someone who wants to please me, and I want to please in return, but I also run into issues when other people expect me to put them before myself. I don't know if I expect that of other people, I don't think I do. I might be too independent to be good for dating, unless the other person is also comfortable with independence.

I think I would be a good friend with benefits, an occasional lover, or someone even to have a deep connection with, but not a good candidate for a "attached at the hip" type relationship.

[Asker]

thank you. i’m glad it inspired you to think deeper about yourself and who you are!

[zeitgeist057]

:) thanks. Yeah, I'm really quite happy with myself and my life. I am a good friend, and a good lover. But I don't think I am what most people would consider a good partner/spouse. I'm too unpredictable where I might be in a year or 5 years. But I do enjoy this kind of life. I have thought it would be nice to find someone who can fit or also enjoys this variety, but I think she would likely have her own set of goals, dreams and pursuits, so we would only be able to join each other on some of them and spend time apart as we pursue the other things that interest us but not the other person.
Either that, or I would have to find a more "sidekick" type who just wanted to come along for the ride :D

[Asker]

Yeah it’s a good point you bring up about two people who’s life goals just don’t intersect. They may really care for one another and love too, but if the life paths don’t intersect and converge in the right way, a marriage is just not possible.

[Maybe_1day]

First time I've came across with such question. It's quite interesting to be honest because I doubt we often ask if we would ever date ourselves!.
In terms of "Would I", like I said, I've never thought till now so let me see.
If it's about my loyalty, kindness, support, love and affection. The answer is YES.
To be fair and honest, I do have some traits I need to work on. Such as some insecurities because of my childhood traumas or my past experiences.
So it would be challenging to understand deep down myself. So I'll say 60% yes. But I would of encouraged the remaining 40% to be a better version of myself. And by doing so, I would be a very supportive partner to overcome those scars.

[Asker]

very thorough and insightful answer! helps you know more about yourself in the process

[Maybe_1day]

Certainly. To understand a healthy relationship, we first need to understand ourselves.

[Asker]

absolutely

[hIopinionated_]

Yes.


Even though I’m a pretty detached person. I understand I can be this way for a reason though. Pretty much everything negative about me, I am that for a reason: my introversion, highly opinionated, I also judge harshly, etc but for reasons. For example, If a person says they admire Andrew tat (I just learned who that was). That is extremely questionable to me. I would be highly skeptical of that person and I would ask them questions because I hate wasting my time especially on the wrong people


I also know I am loyal, kind, and considerate for the right person. I’m never fake I’m actually pretty bad at pretending. If I’m having bad sex, I won’t moan or stroke an ego. That’s just me. And I won’t do out to make a guy feel bad, it’s because I’m horrible at lying to myself and others. I’m also super genuine. Pretty sure I’m perfect for myself lol

[Asker]

being genuine is so important these days with the number of superficial people, so keep being you, and thank you for your description

[hIopinionated_]

Omg yes! For these past couple weeks, crazy things have been blowing up all over social media with fake friends murdering their friends and even more shootings. Smh. I’ll take my naturally loner self to bed thank you very much lol

Goodluck to you though and thank you for asking such a nice question. I had to really put my thoughts into words

[Asker]

i don’t even have social media because of that drama but that is all really on another level! shoutout to loners like us. may we all rest in peace. and you are welcome i really liked reading your response and for how thoughtful it was

[hIopinionated_]

Awwe we’re loners🥺 lol. Yes, shoutout to those like us. We’re pretty damn amazing people and we don’t need anyone or their validation because needing and wanting is two completely different things.

Super glad you liked my answer by the way. I always answer nice questions with an intent to be serious and thoughtful

[Asker]

that’s very true! i really like to philosophize and think about life and it’s great to know you feel the same way.

[hIopinionated_]

Lol it’s so interesting because I literally think about life all the time. All sorts of things. Pretty sure I’ll scare people off though lol. I can read a book and could just go down memory lane or make up things that’s very possible. I overthink pretty much everything. There’s just so much that’s possible you know

[BlueScorpio]

I dint think so? There's a high chance we would never meet or interact cause I'm very introverted and keep to myself. I'm sure my male self would be the same way.

[Asker]

Maybe a stroke of fate would bring you together ha

[Bethany22]

We might show the same type of guilt when one person doesn't talk too much. Other than that, I'd probably run for the hills.

[Asker]

I see haha what do you feel is your worst trait?

[Account]

I would. But I probably would find it hard to understand me.

[Asker]

why is that. are you mysterious?

[AviatorTom]

Of course. I'm interesting, good looking and pretty good in bed. Why wouldn't I, as a girl, date myself (the guy).

[Rab1901]

Honestly, I would in a heartbeat. I don't think it's cocky to believe this. I always wanted a girl who's just like me. I think I'd get along with myself so well, and I would feel confident in knowing how faithful we'd be to each other. In fact, the last girl I dated reminded me of a younger version of myself, and I loved that, but it didn't work out in the end because obviously we had our differences. Different cultures and she was not mature enough, but I did find myself thinking she might be great in about 6 years. That's our age difference by the way.

[Asker]

Yes. I've always found with my exes that the hardest thing has been to read their minds and really to get inside their heads when they have had difficulties verbally expressing their concerns and deep insecurities and fears. Therefore, if I were dating myself, I would already have a sense of what could be causing different behaviors, since I can see them in myself, and that this would more easily create a sense of intimacy between us.

[Tempest68]

Yeah, I think I would. I'm pretty humble and easy-going... not something younger women necessarily want but a lot of older women like those attributes.

I'm still attractive and in decent shape (for 54).

Positives: I have a good sense of humor, try to be "happy go lucky", wear my heart of my sleeve, and have a passion for music (been playing guitar for 40 years now).

Negatives: I've never been very ambitious. Money is just a tool to me, not something I really strive for. A short temper but then I'm over it. Baggage! My love died July 4th 2018, we were planning our wedding for that December. I think about her every single day. I've dated a few times in the past year or so and I'm honest about my feelings but I don't think most women want to deal with a man trying to get over his grief.

It's certainly an interesting topic you bring up though!

[Asker]

Glad you liked the topic! I am also not at all obsessed with money. If I make low money (which I do) I won't expect my boyfriend to make any more than I do, because it's not fair. Money controls people and their minds and makes them forget what really matters in life. Keep up the good spirits!

[FunkyMonkee]

Yeah, most likely. Although I'm not sure how girls are wired, on one hand, (going by how girls seems to be) I'd see that he was a very kind, loving, loyal, caring guy, very tall and not bad-looking (possibly very good looking, according to some girls), and he's the kind of guy I've been looking for for a long time but, on the other hand, I'd see how wonderful he is and start running for the hills to get the hell away from him and into the waiting arms of the nearest abusive asshole I could find to spend my life with!! But, I'd at least keep him on the back burner as someone whose shoulder I could cry on when I get beat up by my new boyfriend!
From what I can see, THAT'S the way girls are!! Just thinking about it is actually really bringing me down!! It's REALLY SAD!!

[Asker]

i did not want this question to make people sad. i’m sorry it made you sad. i can honestly say that if a guy looks like a player i run for the hills and if a guy looks humble and unassuming i’m much more likely to give him a chance. so i don’t think all girls go for the abusive asshole as you said. like the ripped buff unloving player type. you know

[FunkyMonkee]

Oh, no, it wasn't you or the question, hun. It was just what I was thinking while writing the last few sentences. Nothing for you to be sorry about. Just my past experiences with women.
I know, there ARE some of you out there that actually like my type but, trying to find one is next to impossible!! I THOUGHT I HAD one and she turned out to be a cheating, liar that would even steal from me!! I've just gotten to the point where, if I can't trust someone implicitly, I don't want anything to do with them!!
I also forgot to add in my OP, "He seems to be very jovial and almost always funny, a lot of fun to be with, playful and pretty damned smart and creative!" Of course, I'm no going into the deeper stuff, just by what a girl might see after having hung out with me for a few hours.

[Asker]

yeah i was totally conned by a guy from another country who just wanted a free stay in the US for a vacation so that hurt and why people are con artists and heartless? i have no idea. but what i make sure i don’t do is let myself slip into the same patterns of poor behavior. nothing will stop me from being generous and kind and i’m also not letting some bad apples spoil the bunch. i hope the bad apples you’ve gotten, you can just throw them all out and get a fresh batch someday with a nice apple that loves you

[FunkyMonkee]

I'll bet it did!! My first girlfriend was a bit of a con job, too!! As she were breaking up with me after a few months together, she told me that she was just using me to make another guy jealous!! I'm not 100% sure that was the absolute truth but, it DID hurt!!
I've had a couple guitarists in my band that were like that, too!! They'd say ANYTHING to a girl to get lid and, as soon as they got another notch on their love gun, they wanted nothing more to do with her!! In the meantime, they already had steadies waiting for them at home!!
Yeah, same here with the generosity (if I can afford to be) and kindness. I've often said that if I was a billionaire, I'd LOVE to go up to homeless people and give them a wad of cash to go buy a house! This time of year, they have those secret Santa guys giving out hundred dollar bills. I'd love to help them do that and would do the same if I had their money!!
Thank you!! I hope you don't get any more bad apples, either!! As far as serious relationships go, I've only had 3 bad apples, so far. There WERE a few others that never got to the serious extent but, they turned out to be bad, anyway. Not always because SHE was bad but because the situations were looked at as bad to her.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know… as a woman, being raised when I was, as a girl? Would I be like a lot of women or would I be more like ”me… me?”


My interests would probably be a little different … so let’s say like my sister, though younger. Would I have had the difficulties dating guys that “guy me” has had dating (women)? Would I expect “Guy me” to provide, and would I expect a level of income outside of my league? Or would “girl me” be unattainable (maybe I have just married some shmuck of a guy early on to get out of my situation, and girl me is either stuck in a bad marriage, or divorced with kids)?


I know a woman who I personally would have thought I would have been successful with. But for all we are so similar, she’s not interested. So would guy me date girl me? Probably. Would girl me date guy me? Harder to say.

[Asker]

I like your introspection and thought process! It’s hard to know exactly how we’d be as the opposite sex. Even hormonally, how much our hormones influence our personality is up for grabs. Ultimately, I hope you’ve been able to take a step back and think about who you are and role reversal and have enjoyed thinking about it.

[letuswaltzforthedead]

Assuming my personality remains pretty much the same as a guy, not at all. I wouldn't be my type in both looks and personality. In a relationship, we would clash a lot since our ambitions and wants wouldn't mix well. I would get along with male me as a friend (same vice versa) but not as a relationship. I wouldn't do it, as a man or as a woman.

[Asker]

the clashing does seem to be a common theme people are mentioning

[letuswaltzforthedead]

Yeah, I imagine. Not everyone can mash well with someone with the exact same personality. similar? maybe, but not the same

[Asker]

yeah very true.

[ThinkFitness23]

No, I’m a nightmare…


I need lots of attention, reassurance and I’m jealous.


I don’t really have a wondering eye anymore (I say this generally) if I see someone extremely hot then I note this but do nothing. I do like attention from the person I describe though.

[Asker]

Hopefully not jealous to the extreme. Some guys and girls take things too far..

[Ill_made_Knight]

Hard to say. I wonder if you could truly step outside yourself and observe yourself for awhile, would you be surprised by what you see and observe? I'm pretty sure I would be... Even the sound of your own voice on recording can be quite shocking.

[Asker]

Absolutely agree. Although over the years I've come to accept my recorded voice. Also dreams where we see ourselves are very interesting because i think they show our unconcious perceptions of ourselves

[Ill_made_Knight]

yep, listening to recordings of you is absolutely necessary if you do any sort of public speech or singing...
I think the difficult thing would be not being privvy to the thought process going on inside my own head before the words get spit out... to see things unfold as a complete outsider... When I dream it tends to be purely 1st person (Or I remember it that way)
I'm very sure that people are constantly being percieved in ways they never dreamed... Een those who do lots of self reflection would find a number of surorises I imagine.

[Asker]

For sure. I often read about people who astral travel and how their consciousness leaves their body and how some have truly seen themselves from a 3rd party view floating up above themselves while sleeping for example. An experience like that would be really great if it were possible more on-demand.

[Ill_made_Knight]

That would be an awesome tool in a lot of ways. I would worry that some might become "disturbed".
But as a tool to help understand how others percieve you and why... wow

[Asker]

exactly. used in the right way it could really help people out

[Kaneki05]

100%. Would be pretty fun we would get into some right kinky shit. Along with knowing how to respond to each other and when we are both not in the mood. They would buy similar shit so we could always just share. We could keep the same amount messy.

[Asker]

awesome

[scooterman]

Of course I would definitely want to date somebody who doesn't play video games doesn't watch sports and doesn't want to stay home all the time and doesn't drink or smoke pot but loves coffee loud music and an adventure even if it's only an hour away from home

[Asker]

all that stuff sounds good to me! hard to find guys who aren't into video games these days

[MCheetah]

No, because I'd be a woman and women notoriously do not like short guys or men who are less than physically perfect nowadays. If I WERE a woman and knew me as well as I know myself, I'd admit that I - the true male me - would be one of the smartest, most profound, but complicated and flawed people I'd ever meet and would make a truly interesting partner "to someone" out there. But still, "he's only 180 centimeters and he's black and he's overweight and ugly; Michael B. Jordan he ain't! I only get with Michael B. Jordan and Chris Pratt types!" As a woman, I wouldn't be good enough for female-me being less than an 8.5.

[Asker]

I think adolescents are impressionable by media, and media shows a beauty standard that’s forced down everyone’s throat, and it takes years for many people, if ever, to realize that true love rarely comes in the package the media says it should. That stupid glorified ideal image of what a man and woman should be. Who should be taller. Who should be stronger. Who should take what role in the relationship. It’s all brainwashing and detrimental. Remember your self worth and a woman who frees herself from the ideals of media will find her way to you.

[DarkWinterNights]

It’s a difficult question if you overthink it. If I had a similar mindset and life experiences almost without a doubt. I could get along with me pretty well. But realistically and gauging from how different my sister and I am, I would probably be a completely different person, so I don’t know- maybe not?

[Asker]

it's the thought that counts! if you thought a little bit deeper about yourself in the process of answering this question, than that's all that matters

[Wish4UrB00ty]

I forget what the show was but I saw this thing in Amazon prim that was basically a B rated gamers show about people getting sucked in to a game they all played and then needing to live it out until they could find a way home. Kind of a sword art on line kind of thing but live action and super B rated. Anyways one of the main characters ends up finding out that a man leading this camp she has been trying to get to for a long time was actually a male version of herself. She had made herself two or three characters in the game. So she had sex with him. It was wicked weird!! Haha!
For me though. I would maybe want to have sex with myself so I knew what I was doing… haha! But no!

[Marklaw12]

Nah, I'm too much of a romantic. Also, I'm not adventurous. The house will be dull. I go out with women who are fierce and like to go out cos it helps me move to rather than only go to work.


I also love crazy cos the sex is always fire. I mean so far the ones I've dated.

I'm too calm that I tend to handle crazy girls. They rarely have one over me.

[Asker]

opposites attract !

[Marklaw12]

Indeed.

[tzdc21]

Absolutely. I want someone who is chill, who doesn't make a fuss out of everything, who doesn't feel the need always be out and about, and who appreciates the little things. That's pretty much me in a nutshell.

[Asker]

yes, agree with you on all of that

[c0mlink]

Oh hell to the yeah. we can pool incomes and do wicked cool shit. I consider myself pretty reasonable and love to spar verbally. I don't know might be a bit weird sometimes but we could talk through it and reach a good compromise.

[Asker]

That sounds awesome. Have you ever met a girl on your level?

[inhua]

nah. I'd want someone taller, stronger, better-looking and has more money and social status than me. he has to be better than me in almost every single way for me to feel feminine. more importantly, other girls want him too.

[Asker]

but literally im sure you’re fine. if you’re healthy that’s all that matters. and money and status is also a complete non issue for me since i have neither

[NavyblueTacos]

I like this question lol

I dont think I would, mainly because, what I (would) look for in a partner, is not what I provide in a relationship, so someone would end up feeling like their needs werent met.

[Asker]

Very insightful.