Do men just really care about youth and is youth the only thing for a woman?

Question

So like finding the right guy is taking a lot of time I've had 2 failed relationships from my mid to late 20's and now I'm 31 and I'm still searching for the guy I want to settle with... So my question is that will men lose interest in me when I start reaching 40? I feel concerned cause I always see other guy who don't want kids but run over for girls in there 20's of at least that's what I see on TV or the internet  .

NamerOfStars · Accepted Answer

This is something that trips up a lot of women, so I'll try to explain it in analogy: think of an ice cream sundae. You have the ice cream itself, the core of what makes it so appealing, and then you have the toppings- hot fudge, sprinkles, cookie bits, what have you. Now, without the ice cream, it's just a bowl of hot fudge cookie sprinkle soup; that may have its appeal, but it's not a sundae, now is it?

So. The ice cream represents purely physical sex appeal, which for women, is driven by the physical markers of youth, health, and fertility. What men find physically attractive in a woman are the traits that indicate she could bear him many healthy children. But what if he doesn't want kids? Doesn't matter- this is instinctive; it's about feeling, not thinking. Men attracted to women who didn't have those traits had fewer kids that survived to adulthood, and so were outbred by those who DID. Basic natural selection.

Now, the toppings in our sundae of sexual attractiveness (which sounds like a magic item in the WEIRDEST D&D game ever) represent other appealing traits you have, that a given guy may or may not appreciate: wealth and warmth and sexual adventurousness and so on. These, too, are a necessity; you can't build a relationship based on nothing but attraction- you can START from that, but if there's nothing else holding it together, it's going to fall apart, because that's just a bowl of ice cream: enjoyable, but not a sundae.

But ice cream, exposed to room temperature air, will start melting. Some toppings, like hot fudge, will make it melt faster, but the contrast in temperatures is part of the appeal- it may wear her out more quickly, but it's a big enhancer at the time. Women's sex appeal is front-loaded; it peaks young, and starts declining painfully soon. The ice cream in our sundae will as well- but slightly melted ice cream isn't the same thing as the purely molten stuff that will give you a stomach ache to consume, is it? It melts gradually, over time; there's no one specific point where everyone's going to look at it and say "I can't eat that; it's melted". Rather, as time passes and it gets increasingly liquid, more and people will decline it, as it not only looks less good, but provides less of the thermal benefits of cold ice cream. It's a piecemeal process, not the flipping of a switch.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to get some ice cream.

c0mlink · Accepted Answer

Women are most valuable in their 20's, because in general men value youth, purity, and compatibility. In a person's 20s they have their youth still, they are more likely to be pure (not virgins, just not jaded), and they are still willing to learn new things and become interested in your likes.

Men are most valuable in their 30's, because women in general value wealth, competence, and commitment. In a person's 30s they will have a larger time to have accumulated wealth and stability, they have the life skills to be relatively more competent, and they are more likely to want a lasting relationship.

LazerBean · Accepted Answer

Not really, the bigger problem is that the older you get, the less decent men there are available. The type of good men with your specifications are already pretty few in number, and the amount them who are going to be interested in a woman like you who is 40 is even more small.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I'm 40. I'm dating a guy whose 15 years younger than me, and he was the one who pursued me initially (in fact, I was very hesitant at first because he was so much younger).

As of right now, I can confirm at least some younger guys will still be interested. haha

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Nah, there's a lot more to a woman than her youth. There's a lot to be said for the idea that there's a difference between getting old and aging. I just had a conversation with a 28yr old woman who feels like "she's too old" to have fun on her 29th birthday. That woman just turned 29, and you'd think she was about to step into the casket.

That woman is old, but she hasn't aged.

I would rather date a 35yr old with a thirst for life than a 28yr old who thinks she's about to age out of romance.

Anonymous · Answer

The short answer is yes. Guys are attracted to youth. But it's not the ONLY thing guys are attracted to. Guys generally choose younger women over older because they are Less angry, jaded, and are just game for whatever. The FACT is being an ugly, fat or old woman is like being a guy, you're going to have to WORK for it. So few women want to make that transition as they age.

YourFavoriteFriend · Answer

Men will prioritize younger girls but of course your personality and looks matter a lot. Φρόντισε λοιπόν τον εαυτό σου

007kingifrit · Answer

yes men will prioritize wanting younger women, you can make yourself more desirable by being a good homemaker, being approachable or approaching him, not going for the most attractive guy who is 6ft tall, wanting kids and dressing modestly

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

What did you have in common with either of them?

Guy13 · Answer

Youth and personality

Aphrodite801 · Answer

Yes of course 😐. Honestly if you need to even ask questions like this you don’t need to be dating anyone 💀

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Men your own age won't be interested in you when you're 40. But you might be able to snag a 60 year old.

Tracker1958 · Answer

Women over 30 are not taken seriously as a mate. Men will use them for entertainment purposes only but never as a wife.

RavVid · Answer

Sorry but yes we like youth a lot.

Do men just really care about youth and is youth the only thing for a woman?

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