Are you all in, or do you keep your options open?

[Twalli]

When I was looking for a girlfriend, I had two girls I was really interested in. One is my current girlfriend, and the other is still a close personal friend. Since I hadn't decided which girl I wanted to date, I was "flirting" with both of them until I finally asked one out. Then I immediately stopped flirting with the other one. Do other people do this? They show interest in multiple people until they decide on the one they want to go out with more and then quit with other people.

P. S. Not that it matters, but I feel kind of bad for the girl that I didn't ask out because I now know she liked me too. She told me and it was actually the reason why she didn't have a boyfriend the whole time I was flirting with her, she was waiting for me to ask her out (which, to be fair, I was considering).

[Kori1236]

I’m personally an all or nothing person. So if there’s a guy I’m interested in and I think he likes me too I’ll be upfront with him. I don’t have dudes on the sidelines as a back up option. If I ever had two guys I was interested in and they both liked me I’d probably wait for one to make the first move instead of making it myself.


But if I was in your situation I wouldn’t feel too bad, you made a decision, and while it sucks for the other girl she will move on with her life.

[Twalli]

She's had 2 relationships in the almost 4.5 years I've been with my girlfriend, and both haven't lasted a year.

[Kori1236]

She just hasn’t found her person then. There’s nothing you can do about it

[Twalli]

What if I am? I am my girlfriend's person, but I might be the person for her too. Or, if not THE ONE, one that is good enough. Most people don't marry THE ONE, they marry someone good enough. I actually think I am THE ONE for my girlfriend and vice versa, but I don't want my friend whom I legitimately love (I love my family too, but I don't have any sexual attraction towards my family members) to not find happiness.

[Kori1236]

I’ve found that your person changes throughout time. And it’s not necessarily in a sexual matter like it’s not necessarily in a significant other type of way. My person went from one friend in high school and it’s now move to another friend that’s become practically family.

[Dana223]

don't feel bad, this is the way dating works. Your current girlfriend could've suddenly accepted another guy, we hear countless stories like that. Feels like it market, doesn't it?
I personally like to keep my options open as long it's not serious or official. i openly admit if there's a story with " friend of mine".

[Twalli]

She actually turned down several guys, as opposed to the girl I didn't pick who just ignored other guys flirting.

[NathanDavis]

when I really like someone and I am interested on them... all others "do not even exist" so it is never about options for me

it just happens naturally every time, not even intended, just what it is

[Guy13]

I am an all-in with everything. I am careful to consider and all-in when decisions have been made.

[Rose89]

If I like someone, for me it’s all about that one person. I can’t even think of anyone else. Everyone is different though, But if I was you I wouldn’t feel bad because you wasn’t sleeping with both and then dropping one. You made a decision and then was honest with the other. I bet it felt horrible for her, but she will get over it now you’ve given her closure and been upfront. No leading her on which helps her get over it. If only more guys were as straight forward as you have been.

[Chazmatazz269]

Ell oh ell! You feel bad for someone who didn’t make a move? If she wanted you so badly, she could have asked you out. You snooze, you lose.

[Twalli]

Neither asked me out.

[Chazmatazz269]

Exactly
I wouldn’t sympathize with a woman who COULD have asked me out but didn’t. You can if you want to, but it seems to me to be wasted energy.

[RobT312]

Options open until I make a decision. Then I’m all in and never look back

[Poliker]

I feel like it is fair, but it is not cool. Just how the game works.

[SnowedIn]

With dating, all in but not oppressively so.

[Likes2drive]

I usually never had two options much less one so I’m usually all in once I find the one

[SplatoonFan2]

It deponds. Is can be ok with be more open to opiton. If online dating is going to have to text multiple people. Not sure about real life dating.

[ChiTown33]

All or nothing.

[18Uma21]

Depends on how my partner is

[Fuentes]

I'm ALL IM for the money

[Fuentes]

In**