Are there any men who have their shit together?

[Anonymous]

Every guy I meet and consider dating turns out to be "going through some stuff". They either struggle with money, debt, alcohol, some criminal activity, ex girlfriend/wife, work, depression, finding themselves spiritualy, etc. And hence not a husband material for me.

Maybe I'm too judgmental but I am not going through any of those things. Not saying I don't have any problems in life, but I do have my shit together very well. And I am looking for a man who is the same.

[YourFavoriteFriend]

Nah! I don't think that there is any man in the hundreds of millions that are out there that has his shit together. So you are better of turning a lesbian!

> Maybe I'm too judgmental

Nah!!! There is no way! Why are you thinking that?

> Not saying I don't have any problems in life

So you do have problems and you realize it but you don't want other people (especially in your age group) to have any problems that you'll have to deal with and potentially help them with (cause that's what a "wife material" does).

> I do have my shit together very well

Or maybe that's in your eyes? Similar energy as the: "I'm such a catch, why nobody wants me?". Maybe people that do have their shit together don't think the same about you just like you think about these others guys? Just saying...

> And I am looking for a man who is the same

We are what we attract! So you are finding guys that are the same as you. Which proves my previous statement!

Cheers sis! 🥂

[TheSpaceGnome]

Yes, but they are taken.

Almost universally, when people are happy and content and have no complaints in life, no bad habits, no debt, no depression or other issues, it's because they found love.

They found a person who sticks by them through good times and hard times, and lifts them out of their rut just by being there. But since you aren't willing to do that, you'll never find what you are looking for.

Life will always throw shit at you, sometimes you can handle it, other times you will need help, and expecting anyone at all to handle everything on their own is so absurdly unrealistic, that you might as well be asking for a guy who can grant you wishes like a genie, stop a bullet with is mind, and jizz chocolate milk.

[Anonymous]

I totally understand where you’re coming from. There are definitely men out there that do but you may be surprised that there might be a guy that has a few sets backs but he might be the one for you. If you meet someone, but maybe he struggles with some mental health or maybe he’s tight with money at the moment, maybe give it a shot and see how it goes. I think as long as he is working on those set backs and has goals on fixing whatever it may be he’ll eventually be that guy that “has his shit together” if that makes sense lol. I’ve met a couple guys that were doing very well in life but we’re totallllll dicks, but then I met my boyfriend that struggles with mental health and he’s such a good guy and has come such a long way and i think he’s someone I could say has his shit together now. That’s just my outlook on it though but I do understand why you would rather find someone that already has their life in order. I hope you find him! ☺️

[CoolCatMar1]

I feel you sis... But I don't hate my boyfriend just because he had problems with money right now. He will soon find a job or will come back to his old job. When i met him he had a job and stuff that's how we met anyway hahhaha

[AviatorTom]

Of course there are... keep looking. You might want to change where you're looking for them.

[fonduegirl]

Yeah, and then they blame women for dating wrong kind. Like brah, 90 percent of you men are problematic.

[MCheetah]

Plenty. They just don't want to have anything to do with you; hence the "has their sh*t together" part.

[Asker]

It's a saying, geez. And if you judge a person for using swear words, then you definitely do not have your shit together, sir.

[MCheetah]

I avoid cursing to not rile myself up. It's a fact that even typing curse words or saying them makes a person more aggressive/angry.

Anyway, you're 30 to 35 and still looking for a man in your twilight years, let alone are very picky and entitled about it. You, indeed, do NOT have your sh*t together. You even admit this yourself, as that phrase means "Someone with no problems in life." You're a wine aunt with 9 cats, in training.

But don't let me ruin your last five years being somewhat dateable! You go, girl! Get you that seven-figure doctor! 😺

[Anonymous]

If he is only dealing with depression or mental health, but he has a job and everything else, why not date him?

You're too old to be acting picky. You're not 20 years old and have the guys drooling over you anymore.

[Asker]

Clinical depression is one of the worst mental illnesses. I guess it depends on the level, but my mom had it for 25 years now and I can say from experience that I'd rather deal with any other illness then that one. My brother also had it but luckily he got out (he stopped with medications on his own even though doctor told him not to) but he had it bad for roughly 4 years. Both of them tried multiple times to kill themselves. My dad and I, being kind of their caregivers, suffered a big deal with them, which is now when I am older showing even more. Constant worry, never knowing how their gonna react, constant faking of happiness for their sake, and contantly trying to fix them. I was barely 10 when it all started with mom, so it's safe to say I'm kind of traumatized.
But even with that, I did give a chance to my ex boyfriend who was also suffering from clinical depression, because he didn't seem that bad at first. And he was only 2 years in, so maybe I hoped that he'll get out of it like my brother. I realized how serious his depression is only after we moved in together. If he doesn't take meds then he has constant negative thoughts, turns to alcohol, behaves out of place, makes rash decisions, talks about suicide, etc. When he is on meds then he just doesn't care about anything and seems happy, which is bad because it's just masking the real issues. Also meds affect his libido and cause some other physical issues.
So, it's not "only" depression, it can very easily destroy everything in your life (and life of your loved ones), including a job and everything else.
For the sake of my own peace of mind and my future kids, I just can't deal with that...

[Opinion Owner]

I mean, everyone has been suffering from some form of mental illness ever since covid. Generation Z's main complaint is not drugs, girls, or pregnancy; it's mental health.

I've seen perfectly normal people with no mental illness before covid now talking to themselves. It's everywhere now. You can't escape it. Maybe you get lucky and find that one in three people doesn't have anything going on mentally.

Even rich people like Kanye west are suffering. There's not much you can do about it. Where not meant to sit at home all day for two full years.

[exitseven]

I sure as hell didn;t when I was in my 20s but I think I do now.

[FilmGuy93]

Finding oneself spiritually can mean a lot of things, so I would caution you against jumping to conclusions about that, but I am definitely a guy who has his shit together.

[Shamalien]

Yeah, there are men who do. I feel ya sis, I’m looking for a stable woman and it’s very difficult. Thought I found one but she turned out to be incredibly unstable…broke my heart into a million pieces and I realized her word means nothing

[Anonymous]

There are plenty of guys your age who have their shit together, but most of them are married. The good ones get snapped up by good women before they reach your age. You are just seeing the leftovers.

[bamesjond0069]

You're in your 30s looking for marriage. Give me a break. You can either pick an attractive man with issues or an ugly man with none. Good luck.

[KrakenAttackin]

There are plenty of men who have their shit together, but they don't make you wet. You want a Chad/thug... who has his shit together.

[HugeDikEng]

Are you hot? I'm currently going through lack of banging you!

[dolemite89]

ya they’re probably guys you’re not attracted to though ironically.

[Guy13]

I do...

[Anonymous]

Yeah but they generally work out that a basic concubine is cheaper than dating

[RavVid]

I try t keep my life simple.

[In_Trance]

the law of attraction says "Like attracts Like"