How do I stop creating a guys personality in my head before I actually get to know him or even talk to him?

[Anonymous]

I always fall for guys I think are cute and assume their entire personality and some factionalized relationship we’ll have before i even talk to him. Then I get let down when he’s not how I imagined.

How can I stop doing this, it basically ruins every chance I have getting with guys I actually find attractive?

[Rosexøxø]

Have fun getting to know a guy. Ask questions, talk to him. Stop planning things. When you meet/chat with a lot of guys who end up being NOT what you expected, it gets easier. Trust. 👐

[Asker]

The thing is I don’t usually know these guys at all. They’re mostly boys I have crushes on in my classes or something that I’m scared to talk to. So my only option is my imagination because I don’t know how to get to know them.

[Rosexøxø]

Well then what they’re like isn’t the issue, but being able to get into a rhythm a dialogue is the crucial part. You have to know if they’re nice or not, and that comes from befriending, casual convo, chat and such. Try speaking with boys who talk with a lot of girls in good experiences and they don’t ACTIVELY flirt, or think they’re too cool, and try talking to boys who study hard or so. I don't know what I’m basically saying is avoid the players lol.

It’s better to consider any kind of mature serious dating- when the guys are out of highschool and MATURE and a tad bit more serious.

Try having guy friends before jumping on to the crush scene.

When you’re comfortable around some guys and have good intentioned guys on your side, it’ll be a whole lot easier for you to not only talk to your crushes/ approach them and all that, but you’ll even be able to tell which guys will break your heart and aren’t very nice and which ones are safe bets.

Don’t do this to yourself where you’re tortured with mirages, or where you talk to boys all in your feelings and not even know what they’re like.

Have some guy friends. Casually talk to guys and men and see their style. Then it’ll be easier to see who are jerks and who are nice guys.

Know what you’re working with before you wear your heart on your sleeve and blindly leap in to that 😂.

Best to you sis.

Maybe even try having a mutual guy friend with a lady friend of yours. Having a trio helps lessen any overwhelming stuff about befriending a guy. Can lower chances of disrespect and such. Get an idea 👐 that’s all I’m saying. Get SOME ideas actually lol

[Wise4myage]

Try not to have any expectations, and seek help if you can't learn to control this. It sounds like you are sabotaging yourself from the get go.