Why do people get so personally offended at someone else’s dating preferences and standards?

Question

Look it doesn’t mean someone hates you for not being their type. We all have soulmates so… Why do you care what someone else is into?

Both men and women. Some women like taller men. Some like older men. Some same aged. Some even younger. While other women don’t care about height or stuff like that much. People always jump on people for being into someone for one reason or another that doesn’t even matter. It’s not your relationship.

Same for women. Some men are into slimmer women. Some men want a wife who stays home. The same as some women want a provider. Some men want a woman to earn a certain salary.

It doesn’t mean you can’t have your own standards and preferences for what you want. If someone has unreasonable expectations they’re the ones going to be lonely and miserable in every relationship. Not you. Leave them alone.

You can’t change someone to make them like you. You just can’t. You shouldn’t have to swallow your own standards for someone else either.

It’s not meant to be. Find who makes you happy and let them do the same. Because it’s not your relationship.

I see tons of questions asking about someone else’s relationship… Some are legitimate while others is sticking your nose where it don’t belong.

ManOnFire · Accepted Answer

I think it offends people when a race is maliciously not attracted to another. There's a difference between that and having a preference. For example: Asian women who are obsessed with white men are often maliciously racist towards black men. As a black man who has had both good and bad relationships and just experiences with Asian women period, I can tell you that this is true. You can tell by the way an Asian woman behaves towards you vs. a white man that she is maliciously racist towards African-American and even black African men. But there are also other Asian women who like white men but don't hate black men, and you know this by the way the Asian woman will still be kind and friendly to you. This is preference, whereas the other Asian women have a malicious unattraction to black.

Also, when black women like white men, or they got into a relationship with one, that is usually preference, and I am not offended by black women dating outside their race. Again, these black women will still respect and regard you as a human being even if you're not their type. But black men who are often obsessed with white women tend to be maliciously unattracted to black women. That's wrong. You don't have to date your own or prefer them, but you shouldn't be despising and putting them down either.

So I think the reason you have people who get upset is because they can see that a person's so-called 'preference' is rooted in malicious unattraction to others.

VanillaSalt · Accepted Answer

Seems obvious to me. Nobody likes being told their not good enough or I don’t want you. Furthermore the more choices we have to make, people or traits, the less chance someone will pick us so we’ll fail to find someone.

BigWhiteWolf87 · Accepted Answer

Because people are selfish & inconsiderate of others.

A few of the responsing posts said people want to be accepted, liked, etc. Yes. We all do. FORCING someone to change their standards because YOU (generic person) do NOT fit person's standards is just arrogance, ignorance, selfishness & inconsideration.

It's like someone stomping their feet and crying like a baby when they are told they failed an job interview & expecting the human resources manager to take pity on them.

Life doesn't work that way. All such practice would cause is resentment, hatred, etc.

But then a growing number of people don't like reality, they are children trapped in adult bodies. Physically adults, mentally 5th graders still. And like children expect things their way, fuck everyone else.

BlueScorpio · Accepted Answer

Because they take it as form of rejection cause they don't fit into those people's standards/preference. Everyone wants to be liked, accepted, and preferred by somebody.

Guy13 · Answer

There's too little experience of diverse dating and too much stereotyping from those without experience and sucked into Social Media, Movies/Television, and whatever Google top 10 listings are. The things that attract one another pervade all Ethnicities and Sex. So, Heterosexual Male and Female preference run rampant from my perspective.

That being said, Preferences are free willed choices that are expressed in a Bill of Right free country. Preference expression is not Racism except to the cancel minority culture. So in that Spirit and from my perspective the LGBT crowd are sadly misguided as Purpose, Form, and Function do not work in any manner. One does not need a PhD to know this is nonsensical and can readily see the mental, emotional, and physical confusion between brotherly/sisterly love (Phileo) and Sexual Lust (Eros) has occurred.

Anonymous · Answer

You have to understand certain preferences are disturbing.
-relationship between white women and black men or white men with Asian women. These relationships are sexual fetishes. The white woman dates him due to BBC. The white guy dates the Asian for her having smaller genitals. Not always but majority of the time.
-black man dating white woman again. If you are a black woman, they constantly tell you that you are not as beautiful as a white woman and black guys will constantly reinforce this to be true because they talk down on black women. Not always but again, a lot of times.

Moose304 · Answer

Way back in the late 1980s I once asked a white girl I knew if she might consider being my date for an evening at a company event. "I only date Black men" was her reply. That comment made me bristle a bit. Of course, I later found a date for that night and enjoyed the night. Generally speaking, it is only people that don't meet another person's standards that get offended. I won't date women with visible tats, I also hate being around women that overuse profanity.

cth2188 · Answer

Thank you for this post because I have certain things I want in a partner and if you can't match that or meet it I will move on. I have certain beliefs I want in a partner.. it's becoming so hard to find certain things in potential partners nowadays... I'm at the place now I've just accepted to be single since it's becoming so hard.

Adam1978 · Answer

To me this is a mix, people being dumb expecting unrealistic things from partners, but most of all people who expect a hugh laundry list and can't fill in any values at all from anyone elses list. Ie their values are worthless but still wants their perfect person. I think you should never ask for something you can't fulfill yourself. Telling people they are wasting their lives on fairytales because they wishes for men that doesn't exist. Isn't envy or hurt because of rejection. It's because you want them to stop being fools and stop wasting theirs and whoever they interact withs time.

ThatCanucker · Answer

It just gets frustrating when you are out there and everyone is rejecting you and you aren't anyones type. After a while it is very difficult to not take rejection personally. I get everyone has their types but it sucks when you are no ones type.

Anonymous · Answer

Because people who admit and hold to those preferences exclude themselves from experiences while simultaneously projecting the vibe of "you're not good enough for me"/ "I'm better than you" whether they believe it or not...

Do I have a "type" oh for sure... I love girls with straight dark hair, and preferably between 110 and 140 lbs and olive skin... But I didn't notice it until my bff pointed out that all of my ex's have that in common, except one who was an outlier. I know the why, but I don't specifically exclude anyone based on that.

all_hayl · Answer

Because these days everyone is so opinionated (and insecure) that everything leads to a debate and people are too prideful to simply let others have their preferences and opinions.

because people are toxic, selfish, ignorant morons.

Anonymous · Answer

Amen.  Worse thing is, women spending so much money snd time to look good, pretty with their make up, clothes and normal sized bodies. Then they hate guys who like them only for their looks.

ribbbyy · Answer

People cannot really control what they are physically attracted to.

AsaKyo · Answer

Rejection hurts for everyone That's why lmao

scott04sa22 · Answer

My ex girlfriends brother broke us up then banned her from seeing me over Stupid shit.

katiesmuff · Answer

Wish I knew the answer to that question as well!

Anonymous · Answer

Some people are incredibly jealous and they feel insecure. They call other people's dating preferences "Disturbing" because they're hurt that they aren't everyone's preference.

Anonymous · Answer

A lot of times, dating preference is rooted in racism. For example, across the board, black people are discriminated heavily by other races due to "dating preference".

While at the same instance, white people are often looked favorably across all other races when we look at "dating preference".

If preference is meant to be unique individual choice, how can collective group of people all have this exact "preference".

TheSimFans · Answer

Is a form of rejection . I am not interested in talls guys bu has prefer short guys and people ego will get hurt.

chilldude33 · Answer

standards are cringe, people should be more open minded

LiamJHayden · Answer

People don't like be excluded.

Anonymous · Answer

whenever I say boobs and butt interest me people get offended

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