She's very inconsistent... should I break up with her?

[Evan64]

I (26m) was asked to be (33f) 's first boyfriend a few months ago. At first things were really consistent and she'd always text me good morning and vice versa and we would hang out a bit in person and talk OTP whenever I got busy with work and other things. Now I'm lucky if she talks to me without me having to initiate it and sometimes it's several days no communication. I've always told her that consistency is one of my biggest values and at this point I just don't see it working out.

[Guy13]

Most women are inconsistent and erratic in their behaviors. It is the nature of the beast. the question is, can you deal with those inconsistencies? Are they deal breakers or simple things like time-management problems?

She expects you to accommodate to her schedule and make it appear that she is a priority. A lot of these kinds of actions are actually tests. Do not be rigid, preachy, or whiny.

[Sophia2795]

if you're her first boyfriend you're kind of like a trial to put it less romantic, she doesn't know how to be in a relationship so tell her how you are in one and what you expect out of it. if she doesn't listen to your needs give her another chance to understand and then after that if the inconsistency continues, just drop the relationship and save yourself the wasted time. Your worth and time is precious, never forget that.

[ZenJen444]

How can you break up with someone who is not even with you nor cares about you? She doesn't like you. Hint hint inconsistencies.

[JustinTheGreat]

If you discussed this with her and she’s still not putting in the effort then you’re wasting your time.
I couldn’t imagine being In a relationship with someone and not talking to them everyday. When im really into someone talking to them is the first thing I think about.
even if you’re busy, it takes two seconds to send one text saying you can’t talk much that day

[Evan64]

Right. I get that people get busy but I just need something more consistent. I've been wanting to try dating men anyways so I'll just friend zone her and move on I think.

[Summeroflove]

Well. If you’re not happy with someone. Break it off

[Anonymous]

She probably wasn't expecting you to be the communication-needy one.

Time apart to live your own life is healthy and necessary. She's lived as a single independent woman for years, you can't expect her to change utterly and forever just because you're dating.

[lightbulb27]

first boyfriend at 33, might need some work. if want to save it, gotta communicate and do some work.

[bamesjond0069]

Age gap is huge red flag. At her age either you're her first boyfriend and that means she definitely has serious mental issues OR she's lying to you and that means taking advantage of you.

RUN!

[PinkRose24]

You sound clingy

[Evan64]

I just knew a girl would say this when I actually get detached more often than not. I'd rather be alone than with someone who can't talk at least once a day under normal circumstances.

[PinkRose24]

Normal circumstances? Like what?

[Evan64]

Like a normal day without anything crazy happening because I get it life happens but I'm tired or having to put in all the effort for someone who's wish washy. For the record I'm the only one living on my own and working/driving.

[PinkRose24]

Well what do you say that you want a response to?

[Sophia2795]

clingy how? people have different dating styles. if he wants closeness in his relationship don't shame him for it. being in contact with your partner is not a crime.

[PinkRose24]

@Sophia2795 this is between me and asker. Buzz off.

[Sophia2795]

its actually essential for the bond to grow stronger and its beautiful to be close with someone you love, like they're your best friend and lover wrapped in one. as a psychology major here, the purpose of a relationship is to be close to another person. were social animals by nature, we need to be together to thrive in nature. loneliness actually can make someone sick and be detrimental to their mental, physical, and psychological health... literally.

[Sophia2795]

the purpose for the comment section being opened to everyone including the asker is the reason why im responding to you. if it was between just you and the asker then im sure the creators of this site wouldn't make it so I couldn't respond to you lol

[PinkRose24]

@Sophia2795 this bitch is too literal. 🤦‍♀️

[PinkRose24]

@Sophia2795 that's not being lonely dumbass. Humans need space. They don't need to be suffocated by a clingy human.

[PinkRose24]

Most psychologist are stupid AF 😂

[Sophia2795]

this just proves how much more you don't "get it"

[Sophia2795]

haha, pick up a book sometime

[Sophia2795]

damn so stupid we become doctors and help millions of people like you all over the world suffering deep down inside with all of your inner turmoil scrolling mindlessly on the internet all day and think projecting your inner self-hatred and over-expanded ego onto other people will help ease your pain just a little. This guy came here for help to his current issue and you're only response was "your clingy"... such an intelligent answer and so helpful to help progress his issue in a productively logical way. Thank you for getting offended by my little comment in defense of the asker because now I could school you all day for fun on any pathetic little comeback you so righteously believe will "hurt".

[Evan64]

@pinkrose24 you kinda had it coming. Something tells me you're one of those short haired "Kill all men" types. Take the L and go.

[PinkRose24]

I love men. Just not dumb clingy ones. I'm not a feminist.

[PinkRose24]

You don't even have a medical degree. Girl bye✌️real doctor my ass