She has told me she is breaking up with me in 3 months. I don't understand why and I'm heartbroken?

[Anonymous]

My (31m) girlfriend (35f) has told me she is going to leave me in 3 months. She said it so causally I thought it was a joke so initially I played along. But now we've had a talk, I've realised she wasn't joking and she says she won't change her mind. She says she's given me 3 months so it won't be a shock, and I can prepare myself for life after her. She says she loves me and will do forever, but says she feels like my burden, and she's dragging me. I disagreed, she's not my burden. I was tearing up while we were talking, so she hugged me. Since, she has told me not to cry because it makes her feel guilty.

Our first date was May 2023, and our relationship just progressed without the need to define it. She was well ahead of me and told me she loved me on the 3rd date. It took me a while longer, but I told her I won't say it for face value. That when I say it, it's because I truly now I mean it. Now she is saying she never officially became my girlfriend. Out of the past 14 months, she has been out of the country for 6 months, with limited contact in that time, firstly because the VPN was useless, and secont time round her phone was broken. She just got back from her second 3 month stint in China 2 weeks ago, I picked her up from the airport, we stayed at mine for a few days and had a really nice time. That's when she initially told me she will leave in 3 months.

She is my first romantic relationship. I feel heartbroken. I feel like we've already split, but she's still there. She told me we will be good friends after 3 months and if I need her, I can text her.

I don't know where this came from, she always seemed so happy, she said I made her happy. She asked if she could move in with me, which I told her not yet. So she's looking for new accommodation in a certain area because it's more convenient for us both and will allow us to see each other more. We just went to see them on Saturday, a few hours before we had a talk.

I'm so confused. And down. And lost.

[RavVid]

I feel for you. The first breakup is the hardest. You are sure it is forever. You are a good guy. She is a nice girl. Why won't it be forever?

She has somebody else lined up in three months is the way it is mate.

I smell some rotten onions with the VPN and broken phone. t would have been fixed if u were important. She was a busy girl while she was overseas and thinks she has landed a better (to her) guy.

Sorry to break it too u. She has at least been high quality enough to give you notice. Get some fucks in is my advice.

[FunkyMonkee]

Break up with her, NOW! Why the fuck does does she need to string you along for 3 more months after she TOLD YOU she's gonna dump your ass? She's fucking USING YOU!! DROP that rude bitch NOW and let HER deal with it!!

[avery58]

She looks like she already made up her mind, and maybe is using an excuse to feel less awkward or guilty about breaking up with you. Either way, she's not as commited to the relationship as you are or you thought she was.

I think you should just end the relationship now and move on. Staying in touch will make it harder to, and I'm sure you'll just be waiting for her in the background. Don't waste your time, heal and meet new people.

[FreyaRed]

I assure you she didn't ever love you. Even if she should try to got you back it's not because she loved you but she might want something else from you. When you're convinced she just used you and love was never a topic, it will be easier for you to forget her. Why do I know she doesn't love you? If she really loved you, she wouldn't leave you.

[AI Opinion]

Oh, love, your ship is sailing through stormy waters, isn't it? Picture this: a love story with an expiration date. It's like she's handed you a pre-heartbreak manual—definitely not what you signed up for. What we've got here is a bittersweet mix of love, longing, and a pretty confusing goodbye strategy. 🚢💔

Firstly, my heart goes out to you. It’s never easy hearing that your first romantic voyage is set to dock permanently, especially when it seems you've just started to navigate the seas together. It's like being given the last few pages of a book and told, "Here, this is how it ends." But here’s the twist in the tale: you’re being offered a rare chance to shape the storyline.

She's offered a three-month heads-up, a gesture most don't receive. See it as a gift of time. Use it to not only prepare for the parting ways but to also understand the whys. Delve deep into conversations that crack open the heart of the matter. Is it truly a feeling of being a burden? Or is there a hidden chapter she’s not reading out loud?

Your situation is painted with complex strokes—you're in your first relationship, she's had significant time away, a return that hints at a fresh start, and then this. It's a lot to process. Here’s a nugget of coaching advice: focus on open, honest communication. Aim to clear the air. Understand her perspective fully and share yours, the raw, unedited version.

Remember, the goal isn’t necessarily to rewrite the ending but to ensure you both turn the last page with no regrets. And hey, who knows? Sometimes stories take a plot twist that even the author didn't see coming. Whether you find a way to navigate through the storm together or you start sailing solo, know that growth and learning are on the horizon.

And about the after—the offer of friendship. It’s sweet but take it with a pinch of salt. Transitioning from love to friendship is like trying to read in the dark; possible with a light, tricky without. Give yourself time to heal before deciding if that’s a chapter you want to explore.

In the meantime, surround yourself with friends, dive into hobbies, or whatever floats your boat, really. Life’s got a knack for surprising us, often when we least expect it. Navigate this with grace, courage, and a bit of that love you’re feeling so deeply. Who knows what shores you might discover next? 🌊💙

[HelpfulWoman]

this all sounds so dumb on her part that you're better off.
it's gonna hurt. but it'll be better long term. she's so busy trying to downplay this relationship.

[Anonymous]

Assert your dominance by breaking up with her first lol. Send her a bill for services rendered. The nerve of her, asking to move in with you after breaking your heart.

[HusamRocks]

She doesn't like Drama 🤔