We broke up but she isn’t telling me if it’s done for good?

[hockeyguy27]

So I just had a breakup.. she can’t give me 100% right now, and I believe is scared of commitment due to her last relationship before me. I’m head over heels for this girl and have been since day 1. I asked her if she was done for good or if there something maybe there in the future. She says she can’t tell me that right now. Why is she saying this and making a part of me hold onto hope?

I know the best thing to do is to move forward but it blows my mind that she’s saying this to me.

[Sorrento-Sun]

When people are dealing with past hurts and issues they become selfless. Unintionally. They disregard other people's feelings, because they're too wrapped up in their own negative thoughts and feeling. It's cruel to leave someone hanging.

It's awful when you don't know where you stand in someone's life. It's causes too much prolonged heartache. I was in a similar situation. So I took a step back and reflected on my situation. I decided I wanted someone to jump fences to be with me, not sit on the fence not knowing if he wanted me or not. It caused too much anxiety and insecurities, because of his indecisiveness.

Someone who loves you and wants you in their life would fear losing you, no matter what shit their dealing with.

You have one of two choices. Move forward and see what the future holds. Or cling to hope and put you life on hold for her. You have to decide if she's worth the pain and heartache of holding on. And can you deal with the pain of turns out to be false hope you're clinging to.

I don't believe in giving up on people you love, especially when they're going through hard times, but if they've given up on you.. what's the point in holding on and fighting to be with them.

[Sorrento-Sun]

Selfish ***

Thank you for the MHO

And I'm very sorry about my many typos 😕

[WonderBell99]

My question for you is, how long are you planning to hold on to it? What if she is not ready for months? Years? Decades? Would you still be holding onto that tiny hope somewhere deep inside your heart? She says she is not ready for a relationship at this moment, that should be enough for you to distance yourself from her so that you can protect your heart.

She is emotionally unavailable to date anyone currently, so why waste your time? She needs to focus on herself and getting better. She shouldn’t date now, she should go to therapy. Sounds like she has some commitment issues, and I guarantee you, if you get into a relationship with you now, it will destroy you. She wound not able to give you her 100% and you cannot compensate for both. Bringing her problems into your relationship will cause many problems between you both.

Give her an ultimatum, yes, sometimes, ultimatums can actually do more good than harm. If she does not have an answer for you by x days, move on and find someone else who is actually ready and offers what you want.

[young_OG96]

Leave my friend, as hard as it sounds you have to give her space and you need to worry about yourself. As men we try to hang onto a relationship we know isn’t working because we don’t want that feeling of failure, but it’s necessary for growth, all the technology that’s made humans advance came from failures before they got it right just remember that, learn from it and use that break up to go hard in the gym and work on you

[Adam1978]

A break up is permanent. Assuming anything else is foolish.

[MedAsianGirl]

Maybe she’s also dating someone else and you’re currently a backup plan for her. If it doesn’t work with that someone she might be able to give you her all.


She’s holding onto you probably bc the possible relationship with that someone isn’t going too well. That could allow her extra time to be with you.


I can tell you really like her. I’d wait and see until I find someone that I like better and can give me their all.

[hockeyguy27]

We’ve been together a year, there’s not anyone else I know that for sure.. at least until we broke up.

[Avicenna]

Assume that's it. If she contacts you, you can reconsider.