Friendzoned. Yes or no?

[Anonymous]

I've been talking to this girl for little over a year and we get along great. Since last November we've been out 4 times and we both had a blast every time. We both agreed on going out this Saturday to see the movie "M3gan". I really like her and she knows I like her. She does show interest back like personal questions, little touching, future plans, etc. But the last time we hung out we hugged for 20 seconds straight (longest time we hugged by the way) and just kind I wanted to give her a kiss but decided not to. But for the movie I was thinking about holding her hand but I also think I'm in the friendzone. Is that a good idea? I don't want to make things weird.

[Itsok2behapp-e]

Yes. Absolutely 100%

When she 1st laid eyes on you within 30 seconds or less you were put in one of two boxes.

That box is the friendzone box. You my dear friend are the perfect friend for said box!

You talk to her. No doubt you listen to her attentively whether it's an issue, a moan or a problem. You're there, like the good friend you're.

I'd have to assume that of the 4 times you've been out together you've paid for most, if not all of everything you do, right?

Of course you do! You've been spun the line of that's what men do etc.

She knows you like her. Yet she still keeps you in said box. Why should she change the box when you fulfil all that she needs from a male friend? You give her all of your attention, money, time, validation etc.

Think of it as you're lost and she showers the floor with little breadcrumbs for you to find your way back to her. The moment you start losing interest or become disengaged with her, a little breadcrumb here and there and boom! You're back to where she wants you. Back in said box. Anything to keep your hopes up of something happening when she knows full well it won't.

As for the 20 seconds. Hmm, you can't deny that really you want 20 minutes, if not more. As for the kiss, we both know you want way more that that.

However, as you're in said box and you have been for SO long the moment you act out of character AKA don't behave the way you should as per the box you're in, she's going to freak out and say "Eww! What are you playing at? Why are YOU being so weird?"

She'll make you feel bad and ensure you stay in said box forever. Worse still she may end what you have. Either way, you lose.

At the end of the day, in plain simple English you want to smash, right? You want to fuck her brains out. However, this will not happen as you're already in the box she designated you to be in from the very start which implies NO fucking, NO sir, NO thank you!

Hypothetically, say I come along and I too find her attractive. I too want to smash her.

I'm very up front and will ask what I'm looking for. If she's down for it, great! We'll smash. If not, I walk away. Simple.

The difference being, if she was attracted to and put me in the OTHER box AKA she wants to smash too then in that case I wouldn't have to do ANYTHING that you're doing just to smash.

I actually have this scenario in my life right now. I don't have to do ANYTHING that you're doing with women who find me attractive. They spend all their money on me and still smash, for free :-)

You too can have the same. Albeit, not with the girl you currently posted about. It'll have to be someone else.

Don't give up hope!

[Asker]

Very informative!! Could I dm you some questions related to this?

[Itsok2behapp-e]

You're welcome!

No.

[Itsok2behapp-e]

Thank you for MHO :-)

[Twalli]

Mist relationships come from friendships.

[Little_Bumblebee]

And how does she know that you like her?
Have you told her?
Or you just assume that it's obvious because of something?

[Asker]

Yea, a few months back I told her I do have feelings for her.

[coachTanthony]

You got to just have a little more of "I don't give a shit what happens here" kind of attitude and just kiss her. She will either kiss you or give you her cheek which then you will know she isn't interested.

[Asker]

So lips= she is interested and cheek= not interested?

[coachTanthony]

Yes exactly

[chicosuave]

not true. it just means she ain't ready at the moment. You can always turn it around other times.

[coachTanthony]

@chicosuave He's been out 4 times. How long you hanging around for her to get "ready'? Good luck with that Chico

[Summeroflove]

As long as she’s fine with holding your hand to for it you both seem to be doing well

[Asker]

Well that's the thing, I'm not sure if she is ok with it. We have done some light touching though.

[Summeroflove]

I think you could go for jr at this point

[DarkWinterNights]

You’re going to have either make a move or step back. Existing in-between is not going to get you anywhere and may end up sabotaging you in the long run. Try to ask her on an official date. If she shy’s away, comes up with an excuse or tells you she isn’t interested in you that way, you’ll have your answer.

[Asker]

Could I dm some more details? You seem you know what you are talking about.

[joeldalton]

You're so far in the friendzone. After a year if you're not having sex, you're just her friend.

[Asker]

Well we both had relationships in the one year we've been talking.

[joeldalton]

doesn't matter

[slatyb]

Just ask her. Can I kiss you?

[Asker]

Is it that easy though? What if she rejects it?

[slatyb]

Then you will be stuck dead by lightning, of course?

So what? Then you will at least know.