How do u know if a boy actually likes u or is just using u because ur available?

[sunflower44]

He is perfect and I love him so much but I'm scared

[coachTanthony]

His actions and words match. If he says he will do something and doesn't then he is not congruent. Many people will say this and that but never actually come through. So keep that in mind. Is he showing up when he says he will do something?

[sunflower44]

Wen it is just us I feel like I'm his world but around other people it feels like he doesn't really need me🥺how do I show him my love without suffocating him? I don't want to be overbearing or overwhelming

[coachTanthony]

You don't. There needs to be a healthy balance. Both of you should have a good amount of time apart. If he is a real man he is on his purpose and passion in life not spending all his time up your butt.

[sunflower44]

How often should I see him?

[coachTanthony]

He should be courting you not the other way around. How often is he asking you out?

[sunflower44]

It's actually kinda complicated,, which is why I'm asking for help,, his parents don't want him to date yet so we only see each other at like youth groups etc,, he often gives me little gifts and acts like he wishes we could date

[coachTanthony]

You're 19 how old is he?

[sunflower44]

18 he's a year younger than me

[sunflower44]

I think he would be allowed to date but I'm not sure his parents approve of me,, ouch!

[RavVid]

Using you for sex do you mean? Traditionally women have withheld sex to see if he sticks around. Now that doesn't apply I guess you have to assess how loving he is towards you and how much he wants to be with you.

[sunflower44]

We haven't had sex,, but sometimes I just wonder if he only sees me because he knows I love him

[RavVid]

Would you feel more confident/comfortable with him if he didn't see you?

OK, that was a joke but a pointed one.

It is possible that someone will use your feelings for them to their advantage. i. e. get you to do things for them, lend money, get you to pay for stuff etc etc whilst they won't reciprocate even with loving gestures or with simply showing pleasure at being in your company.

If someone likes/loves you then they primarily want to be in your company. I think we pretty readily detect if that is not so or is so. That should be your guide.

[sunflower44]

The pointed joke was slightly true 😬I am self conscious around him I think it's just because I care so much about what he thinks,, I can definitely relax better wen we just call

[RavVid]

When are highly attracted then we often do care about what the person thinks and are nervous about it etc but it sounds like he is attracted to you. Just try to relax more in his presence and enjoy his company. If he is spending time with you there is a reason for that on his side so I think you cane be confident of him.

[sunflower44]

Hey thanks,, I like that advice ☺️

[JosyJosy]

Time. They show their true colors as time passes.

[sunflower44]

How much time?

[JosyJosy]

as long as you need to grow comfortable. I don't 'fall' for someone, it happens gradually. and if they're the type to Fall for someone, their true nature will show. Don't play games, don't stall for no reason if you like him. It sends mixed signals.

[AmeerX]

Time will help but she should keep her priorities straight. Tell that boy you want marriage and he isn't going to get anything from you until he married. Take it or leave it

[sunflower44]

It's kinda pathetic but he's the only one for me and I'm terrified that I'm gonna lose the best thing thts ever happened to me

[sunflower44]

Although I'm not ready for marriage yet I just want him to love me is tht asking too much?

[AmeerX]

" I'm gonna lose the best thing thts ever happened to me "

Correction, the best thing so far 🙂.

You don't know how life works do you?
It sends you help when you don't expect it and it also tear downs our world when we think everything is going fine.
World is just a mix of happiness and sadness combined. I don't mean to hurt your enthusiasm but you should not expect too much from the guy.

You know the fucked up thing about life? It shows us something and then when we open the package something completely different comes out of it.

And a lot of men like to be in committed marriages too but sadly media only shows the bitterest things about people.

I don't want you to force him to marry but if you make it clear from the start it will be the best for you and him.
I even did the brides agency post to help girls find proper willing men instead of just people seeing them as just meat 😔

[exitseven]

This is why you do npot have sex on the first date. You need to get to know him and there are no shortcuts.

[AmeerX]

Tell him you don't see friendship between him and you. If he wants you he needs to be serious and engage you

[sunflower44]

Then what if I lose him🥺

[AmeerX]

I wish girls took relationship advice from Morrocans. Be strong, resonant and forth coming. Don't be a wimp. It's actually a disease of doubt if you always second guess things.

If his and your destiny's are together he will accept you without hook ups and so on and so forth. If not then you will never cross paths with him

[sunflower44]

He seems to be more comfortable if I treat him like a friend,, does he just need more time? We have kissed which was perfect but we don't talk about it

[AmeerX]

Girl you don't want to fall in the girlfriend trap. So he clear what you want from him. In fact ask him you want to meet his family and you two can be tied up with family for him to escape.
If you make his mom your best friend I am sure he will be pressured to marry you

[sunflower44]

I can't pressure him to marry me,, he would always resent me,, I just want to be loved is tht asking too much?

[AmeerX]

Sunflower 🌻 listen you are 19. You want to go his terrible way. It's your choice. We can only guide you. It is probably something your parents should be telling you but as your brother I will tell you what I tell anyone else. Don't let him waste your time. If he wants you then give him the ultimatum of 6 months (6-8 months dating if he sees you as a wife or as just girlfriend).
I can't force you to leave him nor force him to marry you. No one can but remember time waits for no one.
If you lived in a more traditional Eastern country like mine. The guy would have been begging you to marry him so he can consumate the relationship.
So, many sad stories I hear where girl gave the guy her body and then guys complaint that ohh, she is for the streets, oh no what she is bringing to the relationship blah blah blah

[sunflower44]

His terrible way? Wdym?

[AmeerX]

Sorry typo, I meant the terrible way

[sunflower44]

I'm still not sure I understand

[AmeerX]

Look Sunflowyou find this guy so interesting and want to give him yourself entirely. Don't you get it that he might be just fooling around with no intention to marry you and just keep you this eternal girlfriend?

[AmeerX]

Look you need to look out for yourself. don't you understand that don't you? I mean it might seem like a foreign concept but your body is not his property.

[Anonymous]

Common sense. If you're paying attention it's not that hard to tell.

[sunflower44]

What do I watch for? It is tht hard to tell

[Opinion Owner]

Discrepancies. It's always best to assume someone is always lying to you. It's not 1 think it's EVERYTHING. I always assume if someone's mouth is moving that lies are coming out. Because statistically it's true 60% of people lie at least once during a 10 minute conversation. And people in general tell about 2 to 4 lies a day.
If you PAY ATTENTION you be able discern whether he's a big liar or a little liar. Whether the lies he tell are important or largely non impactful.

[sunflower44]

I can honestly say I don't think he lies ,, I understand what u mean but he just doesn't talk much and never lied to me before tht I know of

[Opinion Owner]

How bout the other potential discrepancies? Does he mean what he say and say what he means. Does he back up words with actions, does he remember the little details. Nothing is 100% full proof. But this is your best defense
I WON'T be with ANY woman the refuses to put in effort.
Guys will put in effort, but a guy who is a player will work multiple women at one time. So you can't even put off being physical (though that is recommended as well). Because he'll sleep with another girl while he's waiting to sleep with you. But if you pay attention you'll catch him in a slip up if he's a dog. Most women's downfall is they just get too all up in thier feelings and ignore every sign. Stay vigilant! That's your best defense.

[sunflower44]

So I can never trust a guy? Thts depressing 😣

[Opinion Owner]

As much as a guy can trust a woman. Welcome to the wonderful world of dating. Enjoy your stay and try not to get too bitter.

[sunflower44]

U sound bitter,, what happened to make u feel like this?

[Opinion Owner]

That's just cause you're 19. Live a bit longer and you'll get wise to people. Or you'll continue to be overly trusting and get taken advantage of repeatedly. I only sound bitter because you don't know me. I'm very loving and trusting with the people I call friends and family. But understandably with what I've said. That circle is small.

[Iron_Man]

Look into his eyes

[sunflower44]

He seems to like me but it feels like I always have to make the first move

[Iron_Man]

He’s shy

[sunflower44]

He is actually shy which might be part of the problem but I need to be able to talk about it 🥺

[Iron_Man]

Right….

[YourToy69]

Many tests are available

[sunflower44]

Like?

[YourToy69]

Men are mostly stupid and in moment of truth they reveal that you are just a number for their body count. Women are usualy good detecting this, but sometimes they are deceiving. Test him in moments of truth. When they need really need to help you or mark a position in your favor.

[In_Trance]

Ask him

[sunflower44]

Nooo it would be weird,, I'd probably scare him off cuz he's scared of commitment

[Anonymous]

I don't know.

[sunflower44]

Well that's really helpful