Is it a good idea to invite a girl to a pool, water park, lake, or river to swim so I can see her in a bikini before deciding to date her?

[Weapon77]

[CountryWanderer]

No. That's not okay. Date her because she's a great person, not because of what she looks like with few clothes on. If you like someone they're beautiful.

[Weapon77]

That's only half true, but I totally get what you mean. I say only half true because girls I like because they are great people but I'm not sexually attracted to are called friends. You have to have the physical stuff for mkre than friends.

[CountryWanderer]

Oh, let me clarify: Attraction is important! It's normal and good to be attracted to the woman you want to date. But you should find her attractive even when fully dressed. If you do then, you'll know you'll find her attractive in less. Invite her on a swim date because you'll have fun and you already like her, not as an excuse to see her scantily clothed.

[Weapon77]

You know how when you were a kid looking at a wrapped gift and you were all excited about? And how you couldn't help but get even more excited about what it's like unwrapped? Same thing.

[CountryWanderer]

That's actually my point. She's not an object, she's a fellow human being equal to yourself. You can, and should, appreciate her beauty, and she will reveal that beauty to her level of comfort when she wants to. View her as a fellow human who is great to be with. You can be excited but let her be undressed around you because she likes you and wants to be more intimate, not so you can look her over and see if you want her body or not.

[Weapon77]

I see your point, but that's assumung there are any good girls like that left. That doesn't appear to be the case, however. It seems all the physically attractive ones left are whores, so it often seems like it's pointless to worry about anything besides if they will give me healthy children. Seems like I should look at anything they'll show me to get a better idea. But who knows, I might just be disillusioned.

[CountryWanderer]

That's pretty misogynist. Yes, I think some bad experiences have left you jaded and cause you to not bother with viewing women as equals.

[NathanDavis]

it does sound quite desperate to be honest... especially during the winter season (North side of things, of course...) lol

[Weapon77]

It's only desperate if you are weird about it really

[NathanDavis]

there's no way to NOT be weird about this

it is superficial, insecure and even creepy

[Weapon77]

Well it works often, so I'm not so sure

[Nikki1989]

I love the beach date, but that is still a little creepy.

[Weapon77]

Interesting. How early would be good for a beach date? 1st date seems way too soon but I don't know.

What makes it a little creepy?

[CountryWanderer]

I'm going to guess the using it as an excuse to look over her body

[Weapon77]

Perhaps, but people do it all the time. Surely there is room for normal curiosity

[Guy13]

No Perv. She think you are stupid too. That’s 6 months from now…

[Weapon77]

Oh, ye of little brain. I'm describing a scenario where one meets a girl in winter, making it hard to know her physique, so when summer comes, one wants to find the best wau to discover what she's working with lol

[Guy13]

Only on your head. Nothing in your post Absent-Minded 🧠 .

[Weapon77]

It's surprising how great you are at typing nonsensical sentences lmao

[SnowedIn]

To invite her to a fun day? Yes. That's a good idea.

Just so you can see her in a bikini? No. That's absurd. And highly likely she figures it out and says no to you.

[Weapon77]

That's what I was thinking. Seems like lots of guys do it all the time though

[Fryday_Knight]

Sounds like not a bad or good idea, but a stupid one. Is it really that important? You can see a person's figure just by looking at them. If they don't wear a coat, isn't that enough?

[Weapon77]

Not always enough. Lots of people hide stuff, especially if they've. Stupid, perhaps, although tons of guys do that every day and it works so I don't know

[jshm2]

Well... it's a good way to get a police intervention, if anything.

[Weapon77]

Ummm, bro... swimming isn't illegal

[Twalli]

Does she enjoy swimming? Are you friends? If she enjoys swimming and you are friends, that's fine, but she may not wear a bikini.

[Weapon77]

True! But pretty much anything for that situation would give a good enough idea.

[Twalli]

Still, if she doesn't like swimming, that's not a good idea. Plus if you aren't' friends it's a bit of a weird request.

[inhua]

do whatever you want. it's your life

[Weapon77]

We should never do everything we want since sometimes we want to slap people, eat too much, quit our jobs, etc. lol Self-control is essential to prevent us from fucking up too often

[CountryWanderer]

That's a great observation. And I'm glad that you're recognizing that it's weird and off-putting to set up a date just so you can ogle the woman

[SaoirseS]

No that’s just silly.

[Weapon77]

What makes it silly?

What would be a better idea?

[Philyouup]

kind of a scuzzy thing to do. ans pretty obvious

[Weapon77]

Yet guys do it all the time. So I guess I'm curious how they pull that off when it seems so obvious

[Philyouup]

the woman fetuses to see it i guess

[PatriceONeal]

Effective