Would you overlook a major dealbreaker if they had everything else you want in a SO?

Question

update on my crush — successful, good fashion sense, likeable, nervous, sweet, kind, kind of honest, golden retriever energy etc.. he's perfect but he smokes. should i overlook it? my father also smokes. it has affected our relationship a lot. am i overreacting?

ps. he likes me back

AimeeKyle · Accepted Answer

Smoking is an extremely tough one for me…. It would depend on their method in which they would keep it away from me. I couldn’t do smoking in the house or car and I wouldn’t kiss them after smoking (did that once with a girl I went out with once and it was nasty).

AdithyaR · Accepted Answer

Depends on the dealbreaker.
I've got certain lighter deslbreakers that i can ignore, ex. If they didn't like anime or kpop.
But the bigger ones like overly religious, smokes etc are stuff i can't overlook.

Red_Arrow · Answer

Smoking gets a strong hold on a person. I was smoking over two packs a day at one time. Decided it was stupid and made the (definite) choice to quit. I took it down to one or two cigarettes a day and shortly after met the gal I would marry, who did not smoke. That was all I needed. Never had another cigarette after that. But talk to others and you will find most seem to never quit, or quit for a while then go back.

Get him to smoke and stay off it for a length of time before committing yourself!

Ligerzzero · Answer

If it’s just smoking I’d over look that if they had everything else I’m looking for.

Plus smoking is a life learned addiction and hard if not impossible for people to quit.

You can confront him and ask him to seek help if you know it’s going to cause hatred down the road.

Or you can just end your relationship, and try and find someone else, but no guarantee you will find another that checks all your boxes.

DaisyM23 · Answer

depends on the dealbreaker, i think smoking is an iffy one because i have family/friends that smoke and that's okay but i don't want to be around it all the time - if it's affected your relationship with your father then it's probably a bigger deal for you and it depends on if YOU can deal with it now and further down the line to not let resentment build up

jvnxs · Answer

Hard to overlook. I think that you should probably help him in trying to quit smoking. You can tell him why, and if he is willing to, then you're set. If not, I think that's a pass.

AsaKyo · Answer

Honestly, if he was great in every other way aside from.. I guess yeah, smoking cigarettes, I wouldn't like it, but it's not as annoying to me as alcoholism and illegal drugs, plus my mother smokes and our relationship isn't strained, so lmao..

NathanDavis · Answer

by personal experience... an ex-girlfriend of mine did smoke

one year into our relationship she told me that she used to smoke but stopped it completely because she had heard I didn't like it (we were young so she was not addicted yet) and then she never smoke again in her life

if she had been a heavy smoker (addicted) then it would have not worked out, not for me anyway... getting over the taste of ashes and the stink is way too much for me to overlook

Kaneki05 · Answer

The only deal breaker to me is them having right winged views which would be multiple issues and they would for sure not be everything else I want since our personalities would be very different viewed.

So I don't see myself ever getting into a situation were they had everything but have a dealer breaker. Other things are just unpreferable differences but not deal breakers so I would overlook those.

TenderFantasy · Answer

I did and in the end it bit me in the butt.

Stevefiveo · Answer

Yeah, I wouldn't not have dated someone just to get stuck in this kind of situation. Do you think he will quit?

call_me_scar · Answer

So deal breakers yeah like being racist but personal choices like that I would overlook just set boundaries like asking him not to do it around you or whatever

TrillXHippy · Answer

If she smokes or thinks about it then she can’t see me. If she smokes I really will not care if she’s everything I want in a girl

DizzyDesii · Answer

I have overlooked small things in the past but dealbreakers, i just can't

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Depends on the kind of deal breaker and whether they're willing to respect my boundaries about it.

WhitneySnow · Answer

That’s really tough to overlook. Maybe if he really liked you back he’d try to quit smoking? Wait. Are we talking tobacco or weed?

DavidRaul · Answer

A deal breaker is a deal breaker for me. No matter how good his personality is. I can stand someone who smokes

JayParris · Answer

That's paradoxical. If you can overlook it, it isn't really a dealbreaker.

driven159 · Answer

Smoking is putting your health at risk try to talk him into stop smoking for both of your sakes.

TallAnon · Answer

No, that's what dealbreakers are. I wouldn't date a racist, murderer, etc. in any circumstances.

SnowedIn · Answer

Some deal breakers yes. Smoking, no.

Guy13 · Answer

Nobody is perfect...

Justneedtokno · Answer

It all depends on what is the dealbreaker that I am compromising on

motownplayer2000 · Answer

I’ve tried that.. it doesn’t work out very well.. a deal breaker is a deal breaker for a reason.

the_sinner · Answer

If it’s a major one then I’d be heartbroken but I’ll have to back off.

Dieudonné842 · Answer

If they pay me money.

LovingJo · Answer

Depends what that deal breaker was!! 💯

Agape93 · Answer

Nope

EaterPeter · Answer

I did twice and regretted

Debbie14217 · Answer

not at all

Would you overlook a major dealbreaker if they had everything else you want in a SO?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Would you overlook a major dealbreaker if they had everything else you want in a SO?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.