Ever tried to find someone who ghosted you , how did it go?

[Anonymous]

this person ghosted me around the end of last summer so i haven't seen them for around 6 months. i'm not even entirely sure why and they've ignored any attempts i've made on social media to reach out to them. i also continue to talk to there friends who i still see around here and they've made no mention of this person at all

i have a lead on a bar they might go to on Friday night , i was at it once about a month ago and they were there that night too but somehow i missed them , know that cause bar posted pictures to facebook the day after and they were in them. i'm not even entirely sure what i'd say to this person if i run into them there either

Updates

1 y

they didn't show up at the bar , neither did there friends , so not sure where they were that night. i ran into some other people and even did some shots at the bar with some girls who go to that bar but no sign of the one who ghosted me

[JustinTheGreat]

I’d just leave it alone. If someone ghosted you they clearly aren’t interested in being contacted. Especially if it was 6 months ago.

unless y’all were serious and together for a while, it might come off as creepy if you try to pursue again

[Asker]

i'm known them for a number of years , we were never really together officially in the sense. i saw them often at pubs and bars here then they sort of disappeared and not entirely sure why.

its possible there seeing someone else and don't want me to know , also possible they wanted some space , or just didn't want me to know much of anything about there life outside the bar scene for whatever reason

[TrueConfection]

I get the idea that this person has been avoiding you. I think it's probably best to leave them alone. Why would you pursue them anyway? At best, the person will be friendly and then ghost you again. At worst, a restraining order.

[Asker]

i have limited hope or expectations at this point for this person , none of this makes a lot of sense

[Asker]

they've treated me so terribly not really that worried if there upset at seeing me at a bar , legally which is a public space so couldn't see how they could complain to anyone if i'm there its not a space where they'd have any reasonable expectation of privacy

and even if i were to only get to talk to them for 5 minutes at least that is something , really not expecting much

[TrueConfection]

You're trying to justify your actions. Trying to find a person who ghosted you, getting "a lead on" where they'll be, and showing up in hopes you won't miss them (again) is not the same thing as coincidently running into someone at a bar. It's planned. By you.

[Asker]

maybe but legally they can't do anything if its a public space , if there upset they see me in the bar so what , is virtually nothing they can do about it. who knows if i'll see them or not , will likely be other people there i know so not like my entire night is planned around them

[SnowedIn]

Sounds kinda like stalking

[Asker]

i haven't seen them in months , not sure how i could be following them around , the photo's of them at bar were posted publicly by the bar and widely viewed. when i was there that night talked to other people and even did a shot at the bar with some girls

[WaterIsland]

Stalker alert…