Would you ever go on a date with the following guy?

[Anonymous]

5'6, small dick, hair thinning, skin issues from losing weight

[Anonymous]

I feel like you should’ve mentioned his positive attributes as well. When you only list everything you think is off putting when it comes to being datable, you’re gonna have way more women disinterested than willing to give him a chance. There has to be pros and cons, like maybe he isn’t so attractive but he has a really great personality, treats me right, etc. Or if he’s short, then he’s learned to be confident about it and can still attract the woman he wants. Things like that.

[Asker]

All these qualities I listed are cons, so how would listing anything else be relevant? A great personality doesn't make him taller

[Opinion Owner]

Nothing makes him taller but he can own the fact that he’s shorter and not let it mess up his confidence or self esteem. I’ve seen plenty of couples in person and elsewhere that the guy is shorter with a tall girlfriend, not every woman is shallow or lacking confidence to be tall with a short man. His qualities definitely matter, otherwise you’d be saying his cons define him as a person and I disagree with that very much.

[Asker]

His cons define him as a potential partner, why look for any "positive" when there are so many cons, wouldn't you rather have a man without those flaws

[Opinion Owner]

Everyone on earth has cons but the positives are supposed to outweigh them. If the guy has nothing positive to bring to the table then he’s living wrong.

[Asker]

I'm not saying he doesn't have positive traits, I'm saying they don't compensate for the flaws so they don't really matter. Especially since men without these cons are options

[Asker]

Everyone on earth might have cons, but some have way more than others

[Opinion Owner]

You know why they don’t compensate? Because the guy is too fixated on his cons to give any real attention to his positives. It’s a defeatist mindset which I’m sure stems from negative experiences but those situations only have the power you allow them to have, and you’ve essentially nurtured a pessimistic outlook of your life to the point you can’t even accept any positive reinforcement. Just look at the comments here, you’ve got 3 other women. While one says no, the other says yes. Another also mentions the lack of positive traits listed to which you dismiss as unimportant. You make a knowledgeable choice to fuel the cons instead.

[Asker]

I'm not going to pretend that they don't exist

[Opinion Owner]

Who said you have to pretend? I said the pros should outweigh the cons, bc you can have several cons but the few pros (even just one really good one) outshines the rest. I don't know about you but personally I feel like dragging yourself down is shit. It’s exhausting and horrible for your mental health. After so much beating yourself and coexisting with self-hatred, at some point you just get tired of being mean to yourself all the time and want to feel good for once. It’s not hard to start giving yourself some positive affirmations and gradually build yourself up. There’s people in way worse shape than a short with thin hair. They have literal physical deformities, chronic illnesses, and the list goes on but they’re in relationships and/or married. They didn’t get a partner by letting the cons become their identity. They got them by being self-assured and honing on their qualities.

[Opinion Owner]

Check out Love Don’t Judge. It’s a tv show and it’s a great example of what I just mentioned.

[Asker]

I feel that being honest with yourself is a better policy. I don't see how the pros outweigh the cons, especially when men exist without said flaws. Those with deformities or chronic illness, if they find someone good for them, I'm not really into love out of pity

[Opinion Owner]

So you’re suggesting that these all these people in relationships gain partners out of pity? Like I said, that’s a defeatist mentality and far from true. Being confident and self assured doesn’t meant being dishonest with yourself or pretending this or that doesn’t exist. Anyway, if being like that is how you wanna keep living your life then go ahead no one can stop you, but it will certainly keep you single and unhappy. It’s depressing and off-putting trying to deal with a guy who never has positive shit to say about himself and would essentially rather trash himself before he thinks someone else will get to it. That alone makes you undatable.

[Asker]

So I should just pretend everything is ok, and set myself up for more disappointment. No thanks. I would rather be alone and depressed, than "fall in love" just for her to find someone better (which isn't that hard)

[Opinion Owner]

For the last time, I never said to pretend. I also never said to be dishonest with yourself. If building yourself up to get out of depression and misery feels like lying to yourself and wrong then I don’t know what to tell you.

[Opinion Owner]

Honestly I don't know why you even asked this question. Did you want to just invite people to hate you? Or shoot down the advice you asked for?

[Asker]

Well thinking I could be loved no matter the flaws is pretending. There's no point in building on bad foundation...

I don't recall asking for advice, I just asked a simple yes or no question

[Opinion Owner]

Okay, swap the word advice for opinion, why ask for opinions if you’re just going to shoot them down? It’s silly. Yes you can be loved no matter the flaw, I know I’ve overlooked them in my day, even dated someone shorter. But if you’ve already convinced yourself it’s impossible then there’s not even a point in asking would women date you. Like if they say yes they’d date someone like you, you think it’s settling, pity or they will find someone better so you avoid it all together. That logic alone negates your question entirely.

[Asker]

I asked a simple yes or no question, I didn't ask for anything extra. If you look, I didn't shoot down the ones that simply answered yes or no. And it's not impossible, I'm sure there's someone desperate enough to be interested, I only asked this question to gather data, not to date, not for help or advice, not for some feel good BS. The logic doesn't negate the question, as I could choose to date, but limit the emotional investment and just have fun

[Asker]

But I'm not good at that

[Opinion Owner]

Feel good bs lol alright dude. Take care.

[Asker]

Same to you

[Babygirl_S]

No..

[Anonymous]

Again, no mention of his personality.

[Asker]

Well what personality traits does this guy need to have in order to have a chance

[Ms_Facesitter]

Yes.