Girls, Should I do this or too much?

[Anonymous]

Hey everyone! I’m currently dating someone but her dad unfortunately passed two years ago and his anniversary is coming up soon. So I was thinking of booking a flight and surprising her on the day of with flowers and her favorite things just to show my support.

My question is, am I doing too much or should I? I really care about her but don’t want to scare her away at the same time

[SueShe]

You are dating someone but you are not exclusive and that means that you should not overdo it.

While it is indeed sad that she lost her father 2 years ago, it is enough if you write her a nice card to show support and there is no need to invest that much into going to see her. She may find it too much but again, she could appreciate.

Personally, I would not take it upon me to visit her, mainly in view of the fact that you don't really know how she will react. It could be positive but her mother may find it exaggerated at this stage of dating. Does she even know you exist or has she kept this date secret from her.

Sending a card is just as thoughtful and shows that you care.

[KrisPW]

Unless you have talked to her before hand, about being there to support her. A surprise visit seems like too much. I lost mom when I was little, and most anniversaries I just wanted to be alone, but that's me. I can't speak for someone going through it so recently. Perhaps flowers for her and her mom would be better? A donation in his name to a charity perhaps?

[OctoberGirl88]

Too much. Just let her grieve in her own way. Send a message acknowledging the day and let her know you’re thinking of her.

[Anonymous]

It is too much. Your heart is in the right place, though.