Dating a woman with a child need advice?

[wheredidyougo]

I said to the girl I'm dating 4 months now it'd be nice to hang out with her child cause I like her and I would of course like her child so we are going to the cinema tomorrow and I'm really nervous I said I would collect them and drive them but I'm really anxious any advice?

He's 9 years old and she's 24

[ShiftingMonke]

I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt that you aren't simply looking to get your hog wet, and you truly see something in this woman that you like; that's a good thing.

Since he's 9 (and not knowing her relationship history) he's old enough to know what's going on. There's a possibility he won't like you right off the bat, that can't be helped. But when you meet him, offer a firm handshake and speak to him like he's a fellow man. It's likely every guy before you saw him as an inconvenience or as a toddler. If possible, talk with him more than her. You've got a pretty good relationship with her so far if she's bringing her child along; if you win him over, she will absolutely fall even harder for you. So ask him what he likes to do. Offer to do it with him, and set a date for it if he's receptive; don't you dare fink on it either. It could be something as simple as playing fortnite or something with him, anything he's interested in. Like others said, he is a package deal with her.

Also like others said, it's one hell of a responsibility to take on the child of another man but I was raised in a home without stepchildren, I was 15 before I fully understood what a half-brother was. My dad treated all of us brothers with the same amount of discipline. I recommend having the same mentality too. You're not replacing his father, but you can absolutely be his dad. And always remember that he will look up to you in some way shape or form, so walk a little straighter. The odds are not in his favor, so do what you can to give him the tools he needs to succeed in this world.

Im saying this as a father myself, who brought a child into my current relationship with a woman who brings a child from a previous relationship and we have one together- kids absolutely complicate things, but they're the reason I get up every day and try. There may not be glory in that, but there is honor. Live modest and love hard, things will work out.

Good luck and godspeed.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Stay away from women who got knocked up when they were 15. That's my advice.

No, but seriously be careful with how you approach the whole situation. Unless you want them to be your new family, tread carefully. Single moms want what's best for their kids. If they see how well you click with the kid, that could get them fantasizing about you being the father figure, and they might get really attached to you for that reason alone and try to suck you in.

I know this from experience. I've dated two women with kids and their attachment to me was far beyond what any normal relationship should be like. Then it hurts them even more when you finally decide that's a little too much for you right now.

Or maybe you do want help raise the kid. In which case congratulations

[Sasha0426]

What if they were raped at that age?

[WanderingLoveWizard]

@Sasha0426 I was joking about that anyway, but you're right. You never know what people have been through and you can't judge them based on things like that lol. I'm serious about the rest of it though. You don't wanna play around with a mama and her baby if you're not willing to stick around for them. It's not good for her or the kid.
I had to learn that the hard way, as with everything else in life

[melanieeeB]

If you seriously mean it with her, you take the child serious and not like a burden and try to build a relationship with the child on a father-child or friendship level.

[melanieeeB]

You don't need to be anxious, just don't ignore the child and show that you care to get to know both of them

[AdithyaR]

Alright just remember a few things.
She has a child so the child is going to be a higher priority than you, and that's okay, the kid needs the care and attention.
Remember that if you get serious with and you form a bond with the kid, be mindful of that bond as well in any future decisions.
And of course let her choose when and how she's comfortable letting you meet the kid.

[UncleBilll]

I was in a similar situation a few years ago, single mom with a son who was 11, she was only 25. We got along great, sex was excellent. She stayed in a single room flat, after a while I just saw her for sex, then she wanted to end it for a reason I won't mention here.. You of course will do just fine. Treat her like a good friend, until the spark happens.

[LegendaryDater]

Nothing to be anxious about. Have a good time and keep getting to know her and the kid. If you like her the kid is a package deal so go do your thing.

[Sparkie460]

There's nothing to be anxious about. If you really like her then you should pay attention to the kid too. It's a package deal when you date a mom.

[KrakenAttackin]

Damn, girl tried to trap Chad young