Did I get catfished?

[kylee2437]

So met this guy off of a dating app. He pics looked decent. Realized he’s wearing a hat in every pic. We had already agreed to a date when he then shows me a pic that he is actually bald- no issue with bald guys but he then doesn’t look the same, not sure if I would’ve swiped on him. He does have a nice personality - but I kind of can’t get over the fact that it seems like I was catfished up until I agreed on a date with him? What do you think?

[Alessa13]

Catfished is when someone pretends to be someone else entirely. Online is like a advertisement, you can't possibly know everything about everyone simply from pictures.

If he has a nice personality, you can always go out for coffee and then never again, it isn't a big deal.

Some guys wear hats for everything, I personally wear a cowgirls hat often, but my hair is long enough to know I'm not bald, guys could be harder to tell.

If looks are more important than personality then go ahead and cancel and move on.

[kylee2437]

Looks aren’t more important than personality, however you are a liar if you go for only personality during dating. I take great care of myself and I want a partner that does the same and doesn’t need to hide behind old pics because they don’t like the way they look currently

[Alessa13]

Still not catfishing, but you said it. Since you take care of yourself you want someone else who can, even if bald is genetic. One can be in perfect BMI and great health and still be bald.

Simple answer is cancel the date, your not attracted to him and move on.

[kylee2437]

It’s not that the bald is unattractive, it’s the fact that his hat adds to his overall actual attractiveness. He looks older than 25, by a lot. But agree

[Red-Blaze]

If he share his own photos its not catfish

And if you will have not swipe if you seen him bold, then maybe he taken the right action, as he got you to pass his first appernce and get to know him for more then just his looks
I think if they got a good personallity worth to meet them and get to know them better beside there looks

[WanderingLoveWizard]

You weren't catphished lol.

You said it yourself, you wouldn't have swiped on him if you knew.
You think you're the only girl not willing to give him a chance to begin with if you knew he was bald?

The guy has been baptized by fire and has learned to keep that on the DL until he's able to show a girl who he is first

[kylee2437]

I don’t mind bald men lol I mind when baldness makes a difference in looks and the man knows it so he hides it. There’s plenty of bald men that rock it and look attractive but when a guy knows that his baldness makes a difference in his looks , it’s a turn off

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Fair enough. I mean you should know what you're getting into, but I don't think saving your worst qualities until later would be considered catphishing. Catphishing is a little more extreme.
But you're right, he should've been more upfront about it

[kylee2437]

I don’t think so either but tbh as much as his personality is great I. Just can’t get my mind off the fact that physically he just isn’t as attractive as I pictured. I’m going on one more date with him to kind of see if things change but I don't know

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Honestly I don't blame you. A 25 year old girl shouldn't have to settle for anyone.
I love your name by the way. Kylee is my favorite name for a girl. It's hot but sophisticated lol

[ShiftingMonke]

Yes, it was kind of not cool to have witheld that information; but is it any different than women wearing an excessive amount of makeup, using photo angles to hide parts of their body, etc? If it's a deal breaker for you, say so. Don't waste his time if you're going to judge his appearance.

[kylee2437]

So I personally think a man should know that a woman with make up with probably going to lol but eh

[ShiftingMonke]

My wife loves watching the makeup tutorials on tiktok; I've watched some over her shoulder. While their skill is admirable, you cannot deny that makeup and skill can turn a mid to unattractive woman's face into an utter supermodel. Even men can pull it off if they're good.

You think spending hours of training and experience, however much money in concealer and shader, and even more time just applying the coating of makeup is somehow less egregious than simply putting a hat on?

[kylee2437]

@shiftingmonke yes it is because he didn’t show how he actually looks until I accepted a date. You can also say a woman that wears up all the time is a red flag HOWEVER you should know a woman is not going to look the same already.

[ShiftingMonke]

Its not the frequency of the makeup, it's the amount of makeup that is the issue; but even taking that aside, what of the undergarments like Spanx that constrict a woman's body, making her appear thinner? Or taking a selfie while looking up, to hide a double chin? Both sexes are capable of slight amounts of misdirection or even deception, if you are looking for a worse take of it.
And to turn the tables a bit; you should also know that if I man is wearing a hat in every photo- especially if the situation doesn't call for it- chances are he's hiding a hairline issue. Not really a fair argument, is it?

[kylee2437]

I don’t think it makes a difference lol he didn’t present who he actually is until I agreed to a date and that’s the bottom line issue. I am a woman that wears minimal make up - I do have my hair dyed a color and piercings however I don’t wear a ton of make up. If I present myself who I am then I expect the same

[ShiftingMonke]

If you're that dedicated to it, then maybe it's best that you tell him that you feel misled by his hairline, and then break it off with him. I'm sure you can find a guy that does all he does for you, but has more hair, or at least a dislike of hats.

[Guy13]

Yeah, sounds like trouble to me. I don’t think that’s worth investigating 🤷🏻‍♂️

[kylee2437]

He’s really nice and sets up dates and does want to understand me, but I’m a little disappointed a lot of the pics he has on his dating profile are older pics from a few years ago

[Guy13]

Alright then. You know what you are doing. I recall some of your Posts and opinions. But damn... with the pictures.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Hard for me to say... I mean you said you would've still swiped on him... that's a swipe right... right?

I used to do funny shit like tell chicks I have a midget dick, so that they would be blown away when they see the whopper that's about to drill them into the next day. If catfishing isn't all that negative, then I don't think it should matter that much.

The negative stuff though I totally understand though... went on a date with a chick from POF. com and... her pictures were a lie. Chick was a big ole fat chick and I think she was much, much older than her pics. It really sucked because I didn't drive (my friend did with his girl), so I was stuck there with her and she was being a combination of rapey, creepy, and needy. It was one of those situations where I wanted to kick the back door and back out of the room like the Joker in Batman: The Dark Knight.

[KostasKouvalis]

I honestly don't think so. Catfish is when someone pretends to be someone completely different entirely. He didn't lie about anything, he just withheld certain details. The pics on his profile were still him, he just hid his bald from you. Even if you don't manipulate your pics, people very rarely look the same in real life as they do online. I know from experience.

I think he just really wanted to date you, but was self-contious about his bald, and he DID come clean after you had already accepted the date, and technically no one forced you to actually go on the date. You could've cancelled, so that part's on you.

[kylee2437]

Well I think that’s superficial to cancel a date bc he’s bald but for me it’s the underlying possible lying

[Tomisworthless]

You see it as lying but you simply had the impression he had hair. He never said he was or wasn’t bald. The fact that he is is unattractive to as you said if you knew you wouldn’t swipe. So just move on

[kylee2437]

@tomosworthless it’s not whether he had hair or not. It’s the fact that he looks completely different with a hat off regardless

[supercutebutt]

It's sora like if a gentleman was wearing a merkin in his pics. Then when he shows up at the gloryhole, a completely bald dummy pokes through. It's not the end of the world and in some instances, it might even be a turn on but it's the surprise factor of it all.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

It's your fault for agreeing to the date if you're so superficial to reject him based on him being bald. Just tell him you're no longer interested, tell him the truth that you rejected him due to being bald and he should make sure to provide pictures of his head next time so this doesn't happen again. You weren't catfished at all. That would be like posting a picture of himself years ago when he's thin and you meet Chris Farley when you expected Jim Carrey.

[kylee2437]

It’s not the fact that he is bald, it’s the fact that he is hiding behind old pictures because it seems like he doesn’t like how he currently looks. Looks do matter when dating and I am a woman that takes care of myself as I expect a man to take care of himself too

[LickwidSkie]

Some guys are extremely insecure about going bald even if they try to not act like it. That might be worthing keeping in mind.

[kylee2437]

I had an ex that was bald and although I found him attractive, he was very very insecure about it and projected it onto me also , so yeah that why I’m kind of like are deep seeded insecurities another thing I want to dive into with another guy

[LickwidSkie]

I've been with women that were the same way... not bald... insecure and projecting... you know what I mean. And yeah, that can get very annoying, especially if they have a bad temper about it. Relationships always come with risks though. I guess you just have to decide if it's worth it in this case.

[DizzyDesii]

Lmao college taught me not to fall for dudes that I’ve only seen with a hat. Sometimes they were balding and other times they had a tall frankenstein forehead 😭💀

[computer_nerd]

lol balding college dudes

[DizzyDesii]

@computer_nerd a lot of dudes start balding in their 20s but you have to remember that college is men of all ages 20s/30s/40s/etc attending. You just can't tell most peoples age until you ask them

[computer_nerd]

@DizzyDezii true i didn't even think about it

[Pyrofox]

You say he wears a hat in every pic. But its often common knowledge that bald people don't like people staring at you know the bald head.

[Pyrofox]

And before you're like then get a wig. Then I'd say do some research your gonna find out fast that nice wigs. Are NOT CHEAP.

[kylee2437]

Lol he does make bald jokes about himself , so I’m happy he humors it. I’m just kind of stuck on the fact that he doesn’t present it on his dating profile

[Pyrofox]

Well it could just be that he feels like its lack luster quality. The same could be said about how women dress in terms of how revealing they are with their chest. Some are okay showing it nice and proud and others would prefer if they could make them seem like they disappeared.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I'm single for now but I can tell you. If too many pictures change that doesn't look like the same person, I would not trust that person and that would be a red flag for me.

[JustinTheGreat]

Definitely seems like he only posts pics with a hat because he’s insecure of his baldness. I don’t know if I would call it “catfishing.” Though. Maybe “hat-fishing” ? Lmao

[Anonymous]

you say he has a nice personality, that's good. if you can't get past this, but like his personality, i think you should mention this to him about him looking different in real life. that's the thing with online dating tho...

[TrueConfection]

It sounds like he was hoping you'd look past his follicle challenged head and get to know his personality before swiping.

[SnowedIn]

You didn't get catfished, but that's a dick move.

[Alex8736]

not catfished but it's a red flag where the original pic's you saw might be 10 years or older and if that was originally hidden from you. what else are they hiding?

[kylee2437]

They were definitely from a few years ago, and he’s wearing a hat in everyone. He’s sweet - I just I don't know if I would’ve swiped right if I knew what he actually looked like going into things

[Alex8736]

that's why it's best to begin with small talk. just saying 😊

[kylee2437]

We did begin with small talk, however he only showed me a pic of his recent self afterward lol I don't know if it was done on purpose but not sure if I would’ve swiped right

[Alex8736]

he sounds very insecure

[CALIGVLA]

Hahahahaha.

It happens all the time. Don't get angry, just laugh.

[kylee2437]

I think it’s funny but I am also disappointed

[CALIGVLA]

Give me his address, I'll buy him a wig so he won't disappoint you next time. 😂😂😂

[Wise4myage]

That does not fit the definition of being cat fished. He is just too self conscious about his baldness.

[Mayo503]

More than likely to many of them around ….
Who do you trust …?
Me no one

[ChefPapiChulo]

Oh that’s happened to me. She ended up being fat IRL. Horrible experience.

[CALIGVLA]

You're literally 5'2" and look like a gargoyle. She still gave you a chance. Stop being an ingrate.

[ChefPapiChulo]

@CALIGVLA i dumped her.

[CALIGVLA]

That's mean.

[ChefPapiChulo]

@CALIGVLA im attractive i have options.

[Debbie14217]

yes you were...😂😅🤣🤭

[Damcky]

What is catfished?