Any tips to help a friend with Tinder?

[ShiftingMonke]

One of my friends is on Tinder, but she can't find guys to have sex with her. She asked me why that is, and I said it's probably her profile. She asked me to help her write a better one, but I'm not all that goodly with writing. What should I say?

Her face is kinda like this woman's face.

[SnowedIn]

I think it must be in how she's presenting herself.

As far as the picture goes, it's clearly the hands on the hips. She looks uncommitted. And her earrings are too small, again, displaying no confidence.

As for the writing, she needs to more prominently demonstrate what she can do:

• I like to vacuum. I'll suck it all up.
• I like to hammer. Banging is good.
• I don't waste food. I'll lick it clean.
• I like old cars. 69 is best.
• I fence in my spare time. Thrusting is best.
• Deli meat is great on sandwiches. Shaved is my preference.
• Cleanliness is next to godliness. I'm very clean.
• I'm a great hostess. When we're together, we'll both get to eat.
• I'm never late. I do get tied up sometimes.
• I'm conscious of fire safety. I know how to use the front and the back door.
• I'm hospitable. If you come over, I'll invite you to come inside.
• I like pets. You're welcome to pet my kitty.
• I enjoy going to rodeos. Cowgirls are fun!

Have your friend try this.

@gummy_cluster

[Gummy_Cluster]

Bravo!!
What about this?


If you're into threesomes, I know a blonde chick with a nice pussy.

[SnowedIn]

@Gummy_Cluster... is that a Domestic Short Hair? I prefer those...

[Gummy_Cluster]

Yes it is! My question about writing profiles was for you, because I knew it would be a flop on this site. I'm thinking about excluding women from all of my questions. It was a nice post, but it did require a bit of grey matter. I might ask one more today, and then I'm going to ask a mind-numbingly boring one tomorrow about cookies. I'll get tons of responses.

[SnowedIn]

@Gummy_Cluster ... I am summoning up the grey matter for the response to writing profiles. ;)

[Gummy_Cluster]

Did you see the question?

[SnowedIn]

@Gummy_Cluster ... I did! I am crafting my response now.

[Gummy_Cluster]

Groovy tunes.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Are her pictures like this? I'd like to point out if they are she might be doing overkill. Like she'd probably have more success if she tones it down a bit and maybe even dress conservatively. Here is my reasoning why... I see this picture and I automatically assume it's going to be some chick that's just going to ask me to join her Onlyfans or try to get me over to Adultfriendfinder.

Basically, is this chick real or fake? If it's over the top and just unreal hot like this picture, there's a good chance I'll say "fake" and keep moving on.

[ShiftingMonke]

Oh the pic isn't her, but her face looks like the girl in pic; I thought I put it in the caption.

[Amy10223]

Well, maybe the men on that site are out to find relationships first, and then whatever comes after. Does she use the same wording in her profile (want men to have sex with)? If not, maybe she can spruce up her profile. Have her talk about what she likes to do for fun, her hobbies and interests, and exactly what she is looking for in a relationship. Most of all, her pictures should be recent, both face and body images, and maybe in different places. The more detailed the profile, the more men will seek her out. Her wording shouldn't be vulgar --I'm not sure how she described herself and what's she's looking for--but I think many men will look at this as a turn-off.

In reality she should join clubs. It's hard to find a right match with online dating--and it's easier to judge if someone's for you in person.

[Gummy_Cluster]

I think a lot of girls make the mistake of not listing their hobbies. I like going to museums, art shows and crocheting scarves. Frisbee golf is good, but I once hit a cop in the face, so I no longer do that. Guys on hookup sites aren't just looking for fluff. List your zodiac sign and favorite color. And tell them your favorite foods, and what pets you have. Girls on those apps make the mistake of thinking guys will only want them for their banging bodies. Wrong. Guys on hookup sites aren't shallow. They're looking for substance. That's when I go on a first Tinder date, I bring my rock collection. I hope that helps, and maybe you can help these girls. Oh, and don't bring your gerbil. Trust me on this.

[ShiftingMonke]

Screenshotting this solid gold for her.

[Gummy_Cluster]

Mr. Monke, I hope you have your helmet on. It's only going downhill from here. lol

[ShiftingMonke]

I will shoulder the burden you've placed upon me with stoicism and unease.

[Gummy_Cluster]

I hope you have life jackets in your boat. A storm is brewing.
A lot of people on this site believe that Tinder is all guys. But if that's true, wouldn't they lose at least 50% of their membership?
Watch the movie, "As Good As It Gets." Jack Nicholson is a famous author that writes romance novels for women. He hates everyone, but he kind of likes Hellen Hunt.


She's a struggling waitress, but he has a thing for her. Jack is the second biggest ass on the planet. (I'm the first) But he tries his hardest to not love her. He failed. She asked him how he is so amazing at writing romance novels for women.
Jack: It's easy. I just remove all intelligence, reasoning and accountability.

So maybe when you help your friend out, you can give that a try.

Oh, and he hot the girl. lol

[Gummy_Cluster]

got the girl

[ShiftingMonke]

Ever since I saw 'Twister' I've had a thing for suuny-side up breasts and I thank Helen Hunt for that.

I think I've seen that movie; it was Jack Nicholson as a writer, and he did try to kiss an ugly woman. It was weird though, he was in a big mansion thing.

I can't be that mad at women who complain about men on Tinder though. I get it. I was one.

I lost my virginity to my high school girlfriend, then I married her. Things went south and we ended up divorcing. I'll skip over the rough part but i decided I would never get hurt like that again. No woman would ever get close to me, and I spent too much time getting lost in the sheets of others. I'm not proud of it, not by a long shot; I do not remember who or how many I've lain with. I broke many hearts over the years. Good women, who didn't deserve getting used like that. I would take it all back if I could. This was before Tinder, on myyearbook which turned to meetme later. I did end up getting a tinder, but my game was the same. Still saying and doing anything to get the hollowest of pleasure then moving on. I met my wife and I'm grateful for it, she gave me a second chance, to be better. I owe her all my happiness and success.

So when I see a woman on here, asking about a tinder guy that hurt her, I feel a pang of personal responsibility to try and help her. Because I made so many feel that way too.

[Gummy_Cluster]

There's a very old movie called the gumball rally. It was an illegal cross country race. They had two divers per car, because the race was non-stop. In one sports car, the driver tore off the rear view mirror and chucked out of the window. The passenger asked why he would do that. He said: "What's behind us is not important. Let's just focus on what's ahead of us."

Words to live by.

[SnowedIn]

@gummy_cluster... if you bring your rocks on our first date, I'm going to have to get your rocks off

[Gummy_Cluster]

@SnowedIn
Hank (the cop from breaking bad) got angry when his wife called some of them rocks. Some are minerals! You can get my rocks off, but don't touch my minerals.

[SnowedIn]

@gummy_cluster... you'll be pleased to know that I don't go for minerals. Only rocks.

[Gummy_Cluster]

@SnowedIn

LOL I'm not sure what the difference is. But mineral water just sounds crunchy to me.

[SnowedIn]

I'll respond when I finish my avocado toast.

[Gummy_Cluster]

@SnowedIn

I've heard of that before. Is it just regular toast with slices of avocado on it?

[AmandaYVR]

This photo is incongruous with what you wrote. It's convoluting whatever the real issue is.

[ShiftingMonke]

Yeah, true, I see your point...

[Guy13]

Nice... She should have no issues getting a nice guy.

[Nikki1989]

I don't know. Tinder just seems like a big waste of time to me. You can walk down your local street and meet someone quicker than wasting your time with a dating app.

[Guardian45]

Hmmm. My spidey-sense is tingling. Something is off. Is SHE a MAN?

[ShiftingMonke]

You know, I've never seen her naked. That's not entirely beyond possibility.

[Guardian45]

Is her body like that pic?

[Faith18letsgo]

I want a friends with benefits. My hobbies are _____.

My two truths and a lie are ___,___, and ___.

[Anonymous]

Doesn’t really sound like something a girl would say, or have trouble with for that matter. At least not where I’m from.

[Finchie40]

Cuz most guys want a girl that only wants him not a girl that spreads her legs for anyone

[Anonymous]

I don’t think she has to do much but have good pictures

[Anonymous]

You mean U?