Are good looking guys arrogant?

Question

My friend thinks I have no luck with men because I go for very good looking guys (6ft+ and fit etc).

She said the issue isn’t that they’re very good looking and therefore confident, but they’re arrogant. And that’s why they don’t treat me right.

Do you think that attractive men are arrogant?

SteveSmith1985 · Accepted Answer

I don't think attractive men are arrogant. I don't think there's any correlation there at all.

What it comes down to is: There are great people as well as assholes within ANY "attractiveness level." The proportion of assholes is about the same. The effect that a guy's attractiveness can have is only WHAT TYPE OF ASSHOLE is he going to be.

So if a guy is extremely attractive, the "type of asshole" he tends to be... is an asshole of the "arrogant" variety. He's an asshole by nature. But since he happens to be good-looking is assholeness is able to be expressed as arrogance.

The only reason a less attractive guy who is also an asshole isn't an asshole in the exact same way, is because he knows he's not good-looking enough to justify feeling/being arrogant.

So the other extreme might be some asshole guy who goes incel. he's still just an asshole. But the type of asshole he becomes is different because they are on different "levels of attractiveness."

In the same way that there are plenty of dudes who struggle with women, feel discouraged etc. But who aren't assholes and so avoid the worst parts of that incel shit. There are still "decent guys" amongst that "level of attractiveness".

Same with really attractive guys. Most aren't assholes. Some certainly are. But it's not really because they're attractive. Perhaps there is a bit more of a tendency to be nudged towards being an asshole if you're really good-looking (just because you can get away with it more easily).

I mostly just depends on the person. It's not how attractive they are. It's whether or not they're an asshole.

Your friend is 100% right about you choosing the wrong guys. If your friend makes that observation about you. She is right.

BUT...

She is incorrect about WHAT MAKES THE GUYS YOU PICK THE "WRONG ONES". It's not because they're attractive. You may be attracted to arrogant guys (some other personality trait that tends to also go along with arrogance. e. g. maybe you tend to like super-confident guys just as a random example)

So in that case it would be trying to avoid those guys you find yourself attracted to due to their confidence because you might also assume they're likely arrogant. Something about these bad guys is attracting you to them. Figure out what that is.

Now, if you're ONLY willing to date super-attractive guys. Then that's definitely part of the problem too. If you limit yourself to super-attractive guys, you will have a harder time finding the right guy. The pool your drawing from is smaller, plus the competition is fiercer. (are you also that 10/10 who is so wonderful you GET to limit yourself to only the most attractive guys? Not saying your not... just saying I've only ever met maybe 5 girls like that in my whole life)

Datboi65 · Accepted Answer

I think men who are better looking have a higher self-esteem on average, but that does not necessarily translate to being "arrogant". Arrogance is when you brag about what you have, and I don't find that to be true. I think we can be attractive and still be humble about it. I think that arrogance usually comes from one of two situations:

A) A sense of entitlement, when someone was praised all their life like they could never do anything wrong (which is more common with women).

B) From insecurity. This is typical for someone who had a glow-up and wasn't always considered attractive until recently (the whole old money vs new money argument). This could be seen in both genders, either as the quite guy who turned into a fuckboy, or the fat girl lost a ton of weight and turned attractive. They are insecure that people still see them as who they WERE, so they try to go extra hard to prove they are different.

Having said all of that, most attractive people aren't self-absorbed or arrogant, although I think it's easy for people to say that since they deal with a lot less unnecessary bs (pretty/handsome privilege is real). I still think you cannot blame other people for your lack of success finding a date though. If you cannot find an attractive man to like you, you cannot just go on and start blaming all of them like they are the problem because they are all arrogant, because then it sounds like you are projecting.

AmandaYVR · Accepted Answer

Some of the best looking people are not arrogant. They have a healthy level of confidence.

But if you keep going for those 6ft+ and fit types, they're far more likely to be vain, and for their motivations to be, in large part, to get girls. So just as you are attracted to them, so are some others, and these types of the level-uppers, who will be tempted, and drop you, when a hotter girl comes along. Not every good looking guy is like this, but focus on vanity. Do they always seem to be checking themselves out in mirrors, and windows when walking down the street? Do they prioritize working out over everything else? Ask them why.

You said you don't think it's a problem, and you don't really care about their arrogance. So you're probably similar to them. So maybe you're suited to each other. But generally these types of people are more likely to be opportunists, not loyalists.

Anemone978 · Accepted Answer

Not all are.. I have seen plenty of good looking guys out in public and majority of the time they are very nice and polite to me. I have also seen good looking guys that are douche bags... so just depends, I have had ugly guys be douche bags to me far more then good looking guys be mean to me...

Bethany22 · Answer

Actually the uglier the guy is, the more arrogant he is, as he has to overcompensate. Jocks are often extremely nice people pleasers, and the reason why everyone likes them is because they're nice, not because they're fit. They may not go out with you, but they're still nice in general.

Guy13 · Answer

Yeah as in confident and expect eyes 👀 on them when entering it. A man in this position does not look around and basque in his glory. One can feel it and moving on in tune with one’s date is the Test there.

Anonymous · Answer

Well, it's not exclusive to them really... Less attractive or even ugly guys can be often like that too... it depends on the person really... If you want an honest take... you had a rough time with guys because you're a good girl who has traditional standards and takes relationships seriously and you're also inexperienced... A girl like you can be very alluring to two types of guys... 1- guys who'll try to " loosen " you up and make you fool around with them (sooner or later) and then leave you when they fail to... And 2- superficial guys who see you as the " safe " option... They'll talk about marriage and stuff too soon and then don't put any effort in the relationship lol... You just need to be careful about these types of guys and maybe underneath these one dimensional f boys and mama's boys... You'll find a man... And I mean a MAN... A guy who makes his girl blush... Not full of doubts and insecurities instead lol... although I must tell you these guys are already scarce enough.. And girls know it when they see one so they just snatch him lol.. Most of them are taken... So, good luck 😅 👍...

Adam1978 · Answer

Arrogance is the wrong word for what happens to attractive guys. If you really are one of the top guys all women aim at you become saturated by their attention and will disregard the lesser candidates. Because they aren't worth your time. Depending on morales you either become selfish or ignorant, you simply don't deal with their attempts and if you get some really stubborn ones, you might backlash hard to make them understand they aren't welcome. So unless they actually have low morales you won't have a chance unless you were with him from the childhood. Because he has made his pick already.

WindAtMyBack · Answer

I think it can lead to confidence and even arrogance. The really good looking guys don't have to put in any effort. Normal guys have to work at it. They have to be kinda nice, and have a decent personality, and be able to carry on a conversation. The top looking guys have girls flock to them. They don't have to do anything except exist, maybe dress decent and keep clean.

Where that leads depends on the guy. But it can certainly lead to arrogance, or at least high confidence. The girls who chase those guys seem to be oblivious to how much competition they have. They seem to be oblivious that even if they get the hot guy, a thousand other chicks are tempting him away.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

Arrogance and good looks often go hand in hand. It would be very rare to come across a very humble great looking guy, the way social media puffs them up like a peacock.

If they were the opposite though, and completely modest to the point where they lacked self confidence, would a woman be interested in someone like that? I doubt it.

In the grand scheme of things it gets to the point where one can become so selective they put themselves outside the market of any perfectly good guys that don't entirely fit women's criteria.

So, if you like really good looking men that 6 ft, fit etc., and have thumbs up on all your criteria, you're putting yourself into a very competitive market. You may have to expect a certain amount of arrogance in addition to working harder to keep his eye from wondering to possibly new and better things (what an arrogant good looking guy tends to do).

burlen · Answer

On one hand, some people may argue that good-looking guys are often arrogant because they may receive more attention and admiration from others due to their appearance. This can lead to a sense of entitlement and self-importance that may manifest as arrogance.

On the other hand, others may argue that good-looking guys are not necessarily arrogant, and it is unfair to make assumptions based on physical appearance. Attractiveness does not automatically equate to arrogance, as personality traits and behaviors are not solely determined by physical appearance.

BeMuse · Answer

It's subjective. If you get the impression that they think they are better than you, then you will consider them arrogant. If you don't, then you won't. It's all in how you interact with people. Some people are more combative. Other people are more laid back. The combative person will end up in an argument with someone with high self esteem and walk away feeling like they are an arrogant asshole. The more laid back person will interact with them and be like they are so chill and interesting.

RavVid · Answer

I think its more that women are attracted to arrogance and think they're good looking because of the arrogant face they have.

At times I have had deals with gal pals - they would tell me what they thought of girls I was interested in and I would say what I thought of guys they were interested in.

A lot of the time the guy was arrogant. Not for much reason I'd add, like a high income prestigious job etc. Often quite dumb. One of them told me he programmed in ASCII which is a character set not a programming language. Duh! They'd make shit up because they were arrogant enough to think every one was as dumb shit as they were.

I'd ask them what they are doing? This guy is an arrogant arsehole, he'll treat you badly.

But those girls couldn't help themselves. They of course did get treated badly.

Adaeva · Answer

It is not that they are arrogant, it is because, except for sex, they are out of your league. Like most young women, you want the best you can get and you are foolish enough to believe that the best you can get is the best that will have sex with you. However, although men date down for sex, they marry equals. Marrying the type of guy you are seeking is about as likely as being struck by lightning on your way of cashing in your winning lottery ticket.

AdithyaR · Answer

Attractiveness and arrogance don't necessarily go hand in hand. In my guy friends group of 5 of us, all four of my friends are pretty darn attractive and often have girls compliment them and ask them out, none of them have ever responded rudely and in general and great lads and kind hearts.
Arrogance isna behaviour trait and while it can connected that someone may gain arrogance due to being good looking, that also means that they naturally had a disposition to be arrogant and irrespective of their looks would have been arrogant given the right growing environment.
I don't believe you should be required to change your preferences due to a convoluted theory by your friends. You are just as likely to meet a nice handsome guy as you are likely to meet an arrogant one. So all i can say is keep looking and you'll find a good one.

Vegasrunner · Answer

That's a loaded question. For starters "attractive" is subjective. What one might consider attractive attractive u may consider hideous and vice-versa. It's also a bit bizarre, but very telling that your friend views confidence as a negative which says a great deal about u what women are looking for in a man. Looks are just a small part of value in a man, in reality what this post validates is the more value a man has the less he has to tolerate from women. Your lack of success does not stem from the men's confidence it stems from your insecurities, however women never take responsibility for themselves.

LovingLoverReturned · Answer

Since when did height and fitness make someone good-looking? If his face isn't attractive - he is not kn that list for me.

Im sure some silly will assume this means I won't date average looking guys. Thast not what it means. I'm not like the asker.

21Cowboy21 · Answer

Only around girls they can get to hook up with without needing to commit. Its due to a power imbalance of they are an 8 amd the female in question is a 5.

Around a female who is an 8 they likely won't be as that same female who is an 8 is also likely sleeping / dating with guys who are 10s at the same time which puts the male whos an 8 more in his place around her.

blueonblack22 · Answer

A good looking guy is NOT the equivalent of a good looking girl when it comes to leverage and pull. Sure they get a head start in dating but nowhere even remotely close as a female equivalent. He’s still got to have game and make effort to a certain extent.

StormChaser838 · Answer

No there are very few good looking guys who are arrogant, But there are many stupid guys who may be arrogant. You must remember, arrogant, proud etc. etc. these are all inferiority complex manifestations. It would take me just one sentence to cut such people down to size.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Some are, most aren’t. Very few western men are arrogant about their appearance. That’s just not the way we’re socialized. Most men are arrogant if they have power, power attained through wealth in particular. If you find yourself a good looking poor man with a good heart, hold on tight. That’s a goddamn unicorn! Ell oh ell!

The_Shadow_Dweller · Answer

Many people I know fit your description. But they are not arrogant. They simply have too many choices among girls.

So they move on once they find out something in the girl that is not to their liking.

Same as girls do.

Should guys call girls arrogant then?

Anonymous · Answer

I don't think your friend knows what they're talking about. Or maybe they're just trying to be nice. If you're hot enough to get the attention of the top 1-5% of men, but they treat you like garbage, then that means you don't hold any value for them. You don't add anything to their lives, so they treat you like you're disposable.

You don't protect CZ like you would a diamond. Both are pretty, but only one has any long term value

Part2603 · Answer

Well duh. Confidence is attractive. And confident and "arrogance" are pretty much the same thing.

You made your bed, now lie in it.

It's not so much that "good looking guys are arrogant". It's more that you perceive the most confident guys as good looking.

That and you probably perceive yourself as not having as much to bring to the table. You're probably insecure, so you let people walk over you.

JSmuve · Answer

No, I'm good-looking and not arrogant. So we exist. But I'm also not 6'+. You probably have no luck with men because they're arrogant. And they're arrogant because you and all the other women like you want them. So they can afford to be arrogant. You're disposable to them, which is why they "don't treat you right". Perhaps broadening your search to sub-6' guys.

rienna888 · Answer

Depends if they like you. If they like you they’ll treat you right but if they don’t, expect to be treated like crap. But it goes for all guys. I do think that good looking guys will take advantage of the fact and think they’re better than their partners, so have more options to cheat

soe11 · Answer

Actually you made him being arrogant, you can restate or reverse his original position by saying to him negative characters and weakness of his manhood so on, it's in your how to maintain your relationship on right position, finally never be a submissive especially playing sex, you must dominate and prove his his weakness and health, then see how will he back to normal position.

Best if luck.

Anonymous · Answer

the woman i love chases after arrogant guys and no matter how much i tell her it won't end well she doesn't listen. she had one of her ex's who was an arrogant prick cheat on her and she dumped him then the ugly skinny bozo she's with now is so fucking arrogant i just want to punch him in the face knocking his big horse teeth down his throat. he embarrases himself and her constantly

RealMarek · Answer

There are all sorts of attractive men. Many men your age are immature. For some (not all), especially successful ones, arrogance or overconfidence is part of this.

Anonymous · Answer

Arrogant guys become very ugly, very quickly.

RavenQuill · Answer

Not at all. Some attractive people are cocky, but someone ugly people are too. They don't really have that much to do with each other.

BarryLiverstone · Answer

There is some truth to that. I can say in my own experience in college I became arrogant and didn’t treat people the way I should. It was confidence and I took it too far.

What is the line where confidence becomes arrogance?

Tomisworthless · Answer

Good looking men can have any girl they want why would they settle for you. And women like to be treated like shit and like they’re not good enough because the guys that do respect them and treat them nicely are just used by the female to boost her confidence and ego

JJ092003 · Answer

There's a fine line between arrogance and confidence.

MrCommodore · Answer

Nah I'm actually very humble and respectful generally.

NathanDavis · Answer

I've met both... good looking people that are not arrogan and also arrogant people that are uglier than famine  so... clearly, not something we should generalize about

little_bird1 · Answer

Beauty is subjective. There's no correlation at all. But the fact that most of your exes were arrogant, now that is a completely different topic that has nothing to do with how they look.

inhua · Answer

arrogance is subjective and another term for unwarranted confidence. some people "deserve" to be confident. those that don't "deserve" to be confident are seen as arrogant.

Randalama · Answer

No, I think they treat you poorly because you keep coming back for more. You are arrogant for expecting otherwise.

Still-alive · Answer

You do seem to go after a type and is likely a reason why you have no luck lol. Looks might only be part if it

Babygirl_S · Answer

I have dated them. They are not. In fact there's no correlation between attractiveness and behaviour.

slatyb · Answer

On general? No. It's possible you are having no luck because you are fixated on the most attractive men, who have a lot of choice in partners. Why should they pick you?

Zayed_ · Answer

To be fair, It doesn’t have to do with looks.

It has to do with how they were raised and where did you meet them.

you’re not wrong for liking confident people because they are the ones who build a strong family.

confidence isn’t equal to arrogance.

Your friend probably wanted to tell you to stop looking in the wrong places.

CateM · Answer

They can be, just like how attractive women can be arrogant. But not all of them are, as being good looking itself doesn't make you arrogant

rabbitzzz · Answer

Maybe you don't set your boundaries and let guys who don't treat you right walk all over you. It was your choice too. I mean you are the one who literally chose the man.

kinggeorge007 · Answer

Can be a real thing. And the opposite happens too. Girl who think they are too good looking, they don't treat their guys well either. That's why I ignore too good looking people in general.

Texaskid1 · Answer

No.  It is more a question of up bringing. If the guy is raised a spoiled cunt by his parents then - surprise surprise he will be an insufferable cunt of the ages.

melanieeeB · Answer

No, not always. Plus I think a little arrogance is something good

Pegases · Answer

No different than attractive women can be arrogant, but not all.

BrightBubblyKat · Answer

Quite often yes if they’re more than cute/pretty/attractive.

Kilapan · Answer

In general, attractive people are more arrogant than unattractive people. It works for both genders.

bean2k21 · Answer

LOL I have the same problem with women. I go for the attractive ones, and yes, they always end up being pieces of garbage.

Fromdusktilldawn · Answer

So you want to go after Chads, yea thats common that they do not show much interest in eomen and are often too busy for them. That often kinda attracts women

MrShaun · Answer

Not at all. I accept that there are those that that are better looking; they are better educated and generally are considered the forefront of importance. Then there are the others I have to work around.

alice55 · Answer

I would say yes but I would worry more about the cheating issue than their arrogance.

Tstrbrainer · Answer

I'm not even that good looking and still I'm extremely arrogant

SunnyRS · Answer

I don't particularly think a guy can answer this question properly, it's a girl's perspective of whom they find good looking or not. But if I have to say then I don't think so.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

This is a general question. The reality is yes and no.  Totally depends on the individual. Ugly slime balls can be just as cocky as handsome men.

OddBeMe · Answer

There could be a level of narcissism in perfect looking guys in immaculate dress, hair coiffed. And they are usually the least confident and have less self love than anyone on the planet.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

I think it's the other way around: most arrogant guys think they're good-looking!!

Anonymous · Answer

I have the same experience.. or some are not, but then they are already well settled in a relationship.

KostasKouvalis · Answer

You call it "confident", I call it "cocky". I agree with your friend.

Mangospacho · Answer

No. I’m the best looking guy I know and I’m not even slightly arrogant. I’m the most humble guy I know.

krin_m · Answer

Looks and arrogance do not go hand in hand. I know a lot of ugly people who are arrogant and a lot of good looking people who are very kind, friendly, and nice!

Are good looking guys arrogant?

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