A girl I like who claims to like me as well just posted "Never choose someone who's unsure about you." What can a guy do to show a girl he's sure?

[Rab1901]

I told her I like her pretty early into meeting her, and she said she liked me too but our beliefs don't align, and she might be moving far away. Not sure yet though. We had this conversation maybe a month ago, and I've seen her 3 times since then, but we've been texting each other. Out of respect for her beliefs, I haven't pushed anything on her, and I said I would cool it with talks of romance so we could get to know each other more, and I've done that for the past 2 weeks.

Do you think she's talking about me? I'm not super convinced she even likes me that much because usually I have to be the one to reach out, but she usually does respond positively. We don't see each other often, but I saw her two days ago for brunch.

Even if she's not talking about me, I'm curious to know what to do in the future.

The truth is that guys often are sure, but girls don't feel that guys are sometimes, and I want to know what's going on in your minds. What makes you feel this way? What is or isn't he doing? Please share stories/experiences.

[Anonymous]

Possibly she’s talking about you and likes you. I did something similar when I loved a man but I knew we weren’t really compatible. Live alone isn’t always enough to make a relationship last. Women second guess themselves too. Especially if they ever liked or loved you. Just like guys do. We’re not that different. Men and women, I mean.

[Opinion Owner]

Look I thought about what you said and what I think you should do, is text her, ring her or if you know her really well, go to her house or show up where she mentions she’s going if she does and tell her how you feel about her. It’ll take guts that many guys haven’t got. You find when it comes to talking about feelings and showing up for a woman, laying your feelings on the line, a lot of guys are all like; ‘Nope, sorry can’t do that. I’ve got to go and milk my cat;’ or some other lame excuse. That’s what would’ve been most likely to work on someone like me in the day.

[Rab1901]

What makes you second guess? Can a guy do something about it to help you feel assured?

[Opinion Owner]

Well in my case, two mutual friends told me that the guy only dates women who had private schooling and asked me in his behalf about what my parent’s house is worth. He was often acting avoidant and then later, he spooked me by showing up everywhere and sending me weird photos. Well, I can only go by what’s most likely to work on a woman like me and she sounds like a similar type. Support her, compliment her and show her by what I just said, ring her, write her a romantic or heartfelt letter of text her or show up where you know she’ll be one day or night and tell her ‘Hey, * Anita* whatever her name is, I’m in love with you/I really like you a lot. Will you give me another chance to show you how much I care and that I’m a decent guy?’ Most women would respect the honesty in that statement and the directness. No flowers. That’ll be overdoing it.

[Opinion Owner]

Also, if she agrees to go out with you, text and call when you say you will. Don’t blow hot and cold and don’t try to push her for sex. Maybe after two months, you might ask. But before the two months, it’s ok to ask her to make out in the back seat and do foreplay, head jobs, hand jobs, etc. we all do this stuff as adults. It’s part of intimacy in adult relationships.

[Rab1901]

Wait... Private schooling? That's so shallow... What ended up happening with that situation? How old were you?
And thank you for your well thought out answer. You seem super sweet! :)

[Opinion Owner]

It happened last year. Mutual friends tried to set us up and this guy was rich, handsome and popular and had private school education. I said I loved him, he blocked me on Facebook and my mutual friend said the guy didn’t believe that I wasn’t after his money. Both guys who were implying this were a bit keen on me at the time but stupid me didn’t notice.

[Opinion Owner]

Well, he chased me for over a year and still is I think and I’m not convinced that he’s after more than sex when our values are so different or that he’s not creepy. My therapist says that he’s just being persistent. Pursuing what he wants bravely and that I’m hyper vigilant because of my history of sexual abuse and my Asperger’s. My mum and best friend and aunt say he’s creepy.

[Opinion Owner]

Such was my experience. But maybe yours will go differently. Find a middle ground between persistence and gentleness.

[Opinion Owner]

Also, be very affectionate. Kiss at the end of dates, flirt, cuddle, hold hands, etc.

[Opinion Owner]

So anything else you want to ask me? I often ask questions to better understand others and answer questions to try to help men and women who get as confused by everything as I can.

[Rab1901]

I think you got out of a bad situation with that guy. From the info you gave, I think he's creepy.
and I just want to say thank you for your help.
I am probably too tired to think of questions now, but if I wake up some more I'll def ask! Thank you!

[Opinion Owner]

You’re welcome xo

[DizzyDesii]

I think she likes you but she likes her beliefs more. It just wouldn't work in the longrun for me. Plus she's moving away. Its not worth doing ldr for someone who’s not even on the same page

[Rab1901]

What if it wasn't long distance? What if we build a strong connection and she comes to realize that our beliefs aren't too different? Personally I don't even think they are

[DizzyDesii]

If its religious beliefs, i’d move on. If its political beliefs then it could possibly we worked through if you’re not shouting then in eachothers face

[Wise4myage]

Flirt with her and give her compliments now and then. Also, make an effort to to get to know her better. It just takes effort on your part.

[Jamie05rhs]

I swear. Women don't know what they f'ing want.