How to show guys that they won't get away with treating you bad?

[Monalisa77]

Without hurting them

Updates

+1 y

Its not about anyone currently just asking because i dont know how

[Gent207-2]

Stand firm on your boundaries and if they don't respect you or your boundaries LEAVE and never return.

I tell truly better to be single than to be with someone that doesn't value you or respect your boundaries. You are not being irrational saying no to things you are not comfortable with or want to do

[Monalisa77]

Would u say asking them to leave you alone isn't showing respect? I mean, i enjoyed the flirting but i was trying to suss if he enjoyed it too. Because nothing happened in this situation and i dont know for sure if he liked me but in what way is them not respecting your wishes how does it show they like you if youve asked them to leave u alone

[Gent207-2]

If they don't leave you alone, they don't like you and they never did.
How cansomeone like you and not respect your boundaries?
Sounds like you've been dealt an unhealthy model of love and relationships, amI right?

[Monalisa77]

It was just flirting, nothing else happened cos he did eventually cut me off. Thing is i made it obvious i enjoyed it too and flirted back. For me flirting is playing games with each other and see how far you can push the other. So hence y i meant how can they show they like u if u asked them to leave u alone

[Gent207-2]

I see
Then best let them be

[Monalisa77]

Ye but i was wondering for future reference, what can i do not to be taken advantage off

[Fireguy17]

Go back and look at your statement.
A guy is treating YOU poorly and you are afraid of hurting his feelings?
You don't show them, you simply ask them why and let them know in no uncertain terms that you deserve to be treated better and if he doesn't start now and continue to do so in the future you will be gone.
So, who cares if his feelings were hurt, you did not set out to hurt his feelings.
You are not nor can be responsible for how someone feels.

[Monalisa77]

Im asking for future reference, not at present. Because when the time comea and i like someone i always mess up

[Monalisa77]

Also, id like them to know straight away , because i look like i can be taken advantage off.

[Monalisa77]

Also, I've been trying to do this in general day to day life aswell. People are horrible to me cos of my health issues and think im making it up/Being lazy. Im fed up of being treated like shit

[Fireguy17]

you can tell them that right away, say something like I have let myself be taken advantage of in the past, but it won't happen again...

[Monalisa77]

Even when ur flirting?

[Fireguy17]

well not with flirting, but when you do meet someone that you like at some point early on it might not be a bad time to let them know.
Timing is everything.

[Monalisa77]

Yeah, e2ven at the flirting stage im paranoid theyre just messing with me

[Fireguy17]

that can be hard to overcome.
It is something you need to work on and hopefully over time you will feel better about this.

[Jamie05rhs]

You don't have to signal anything at all. Just don't let them. They will find out through experience.

[Andres77]

Leave them… but set traps

[Monalisa77]

Its not about a boyfriend, i want to make it clear when we first meet but i dont know how

[Andres77]

mention an "ex" that tried something and how you got back at him. it doesn't have to be true. you can always tell the nex guy later if you continue with him but hearing about another guy paying a price for treating you poorly will set the stage and clarify your position.

[Monalisa77]

True, im just notnv good at lying i alqaya trip up😂

[Monalisa77]

Always

[Andres77]

well, good luck.

[Jennz6]

Embarrass him?

[Monalisa77]

Tried that LOL

[Jennz6]

@Monalisa77 I don’t know anything else, you said that you didn’t want to hurt him.

[Monalisa77]

Nope, i didn't think it would and most guys said theyd brush it off anyway. Its just when i really like someone i come across too easy but i want them to be the one to chase me and show they like me otherwise i just end up getting hurt :/ like i dont sa5to be the one going to them n telling them i like them incase they reject me which is what would likely happen