Before anyone says anything, I get that I’m the asshole here.
I’m considered fairly pretty and I’m a fun person (lots of hobbies, friends, I’m a big extrovert). I’m usually a very nice person but, I’m just incredibly mean and defensive around guys. For background since I was a kid (childhood-middle school) boys were incredibly mean to me, like walk up to me solely to insult me mean and then tell everyone about it type mean (I was never weird as a kid or stereotypically ugly by any means). I was always made fun of out of no where or mocked. Outside of that I was always creeped on by older guys (usually who I thought I could trust) in my teen years by 20-50 year olds and even had teachers of mine attempt to date me when I was underage. From this I’ve become really passive and directly aggressive to guys and it’s messed with my dating. I can’t even really be nice to them because I just don’t know how. I’m attracted to men, I like men but, I just don’t know how to interact normally at all. I feel no matter how the conversation might start out I’ll find something they’ll do that I’ll see as some type of attack or attempt to degrade me and suddenly get very difficult. Sometimes I’ll even threaten to psychically fight them. to Not to mention a lot of the guys I tend to talk to are often pretty rude in general. I’m scared to approach guys because I don’t want them to think I’m interested (I’m scared for them to think I actually like them) and make fun of me. When do end up talking to a guy I made make rude jokes (which is my attempt at flirting) and they feel I’m too mean or disinterested. I still want to date and be happy but I just really don’t know what to do.
(Sorry for grammar stuff I don’t feel like reading back through this)
I’m considered fairly pretty and I’m a fun person (lots of hobbies, friends, I’m a big extrovert). I’m usually a very nice person but, I’m just incredibly mean and defensive around guys. For background since I was a kid (childhood-middle school) boys were incredibly mean to me, like walk up to me solely to insult me mean and then tell everyone about it type mean (I was never weird as a kid or stereotypically ugly by any means). I was always made fun of out of no where or mocked. Outside of that I was always creeped on by older guys (usually who I thought I could trust) in my teen years by 20-50 year olds and even had teachers of mine attempt to date me when I was underage. From this I’ve become really passive and directly aggressive to guys and it’s messed with my dating. I can’t even really be nice to them because I just don’t know how. I’m attracted to men, I like men but, I just don’t know how to interact normally at all. I feel no matter how the conversation might start out I’ll find something they’ll do that I’ll see as some type of attack or attempt to degrade me and suddenly get very difficult. Sometimes I’ll even threaten to psychically fight them. to Not to mention a lot of the guys I tend to talk to are often pretty rude in general. I’m scared to approach guys because I don’t want them to think I’m interested (I’m scared for them to think I actually like them) and make fun of me. When do end up talking to a guy I made make rude jokes (which is my attempt at flirting) and they feel I’m too mean or disinterested. I still want to date and be happy but I just really don’t know what to do.
(Sorry for grammar stuff I don’t feel like reading back through this)
