Whenever I run in to my husband in public he acts distant and standoffish.

[jujujings]

How sad is this that I REALLY do need the input and advice of you all. I really am an attractive women and most of all quiet and not a loud attention seeking person. So then why on more than 5 incidents does my husband act cool and distant towards me? On two occasions, I did walk in while he was making coffee at a gas station talking/flirting with a woman. One time was a physical therapy office and there were women present. The other two were outside of a gas station and men and women were both present.I have spoken to my husband about being distant and treating me like a stranger in public it never ends well and he raises his voice and gets defensive? Today, I've just had it. We left each other this afternoon both happy and affectionate. I heard on the radio there was an accident and he was taking that highway to go golfing. When I walked in the gas station he was in a conversation with a women. I heard his laugh before I ever saw him. So I go up to him and say Hey, I just stopped by to tell you that there's an accident on the highway. He never looks up at me and stands there in silence making his coffee. WTF, I wash his clothes, make his lunch, service him anytime of the day and night and now he acts like he doesn't know me.The girl finished up making her coffee and she looked at me like do you know this guy is a jerk. So he then asks me what exact exit on the highway was blocked. Okay, I'm leaving now and paid for my gas. I could clearly tell by the look on his face that he wasn't happy to see me or curious if something was wrong. You would think he's be like "what happened?" Everything okay?" I mean I had just left him at the house 20 min prior..By the way he would pick up women as old as 50 (he was 36/37) at gas stations and deli's. Very, very obese and not attractive.Actually one woman he began a relationship with was a grieving alcoholic widow whose husband of 20 years passed away. P.S. he has also cheated on girlfriends in the past, but always blamed them for his adulterous behavior not for anything he ever did. Also, he did maintain an online sexual relationship with a girl while he was in a committed relationship prior to us. He said he wouldn't do that online thing now with me. So when I confronted him at the gas station about it outside he raised his voice and said I was making accusation. What accusations? I walked in and you ignored me because I interrupted your conversation with a stranger.He's done this three other times in the 2 plus years we are together.Every time, I tell him how I feel (like I'm a stranger) it involves him yelling or driving off.One of the times I gave him a greeting kiss (NEVER PDA)on the cheek when I went to pick him up at a physical therapy office and he pushed me away. So okay, let me have it. I'm curious what you all think. Do you see warning signs here? I'm sorry if I gave you all too much info but I thought it would help.

[Jgerdes03]

Ok so my fiancé used to act similar when we would be at parties. Tthese women were clueless, he wouldn't be talking to them, but he would give me cold shoulder whenever they were around and focus on them. He looked like an asshole numerouos times and made the woman awkward along with everyone else in the room. I would suggest doing this : Example scenario the gas station. he's chatting with a attractive woman, you come in and greet him LOVINGLY and SWEETLY and give him the chance to "reject" you in front of her. When he does, look puzzled for a moment and say "What's the matter Honey? We had a great morning together" he will act agitated, and act completely different with you than he did with her. Then pause for a cpl seconds LOOKING confused. You look at her, you look at him, then act like something "clicks" in your head, then look like your heart is breaking a little "ohhhhh... I see" Then look at her with sad defeated eyes, and tell her she is very beautiful. Look down for a cpl seconds (make them squirm a little) and timidly tell him, " Well, I just wanted to let you know Im making your favorite meal for dinner tonight" Then give HIM one last hopeful glance and wait for him to respond like an asshole, then say "Ok sweetie, have a good day" and walk away wiping your eyes. Boom. That woman at the gas station won't help but feel sorry for you for having an asshole husband. She will get it. Plus, HE knows he looks like an asshole in front of that girl he's flirting with. And Imagine how awkward they are going to be once you leave. He won't have a vaid argument later. Wht is he gnna say to u ltr? You came in super nice to me and embarrassed me in front of the woman I was trying to flirt with? By then you can just be innocent and say "what did I do wrong baby?"

[lilymac]

The first thing that came to mind while reading this is that your husband suffers from narcissistic personality disorder. Even if it's something else, he's sick and you can't fix him. I'm so sorry you have to go through this, but you're the only one who can make it stop.

[nermalinda]

I am actually shocked that you are even married to this guy. How can you stand to be with someone who treats you like this?

Please have some self respect and get these kind of people out of your life for good.

[jujujings]

Well breaking up is hard to do. :( Really it is. Especially when children are involved.No matter what I say he overeacts. That is not an exaggeration. He even does it in front of the counselor. He blames me,his mother & anyone else he feels like it too. I get it that I'm never going to win so this just sucks. I was looking at apartments tonight, then I need to get a car too. He controlled everything so it's a little tougher to get out. ANd of course the classic but I love him too.

[jimi_s]

I must say that I didn;t read all of your post but enough to make the judgedgement that he is not respecting you as a human being. What goes on in his mind is anybody's guess but in my opinion, staying with a person who think so lowly of you is dangerous.

[jujujings]

Thank you. This situation escalated when he came home and he felt attacked for doing something wrong. I told him it was about that I was feeling ignored & nothing else.He screaming at me to get in the vehicle where he was going to drive to the station and get videotape. I got in the car, the tape will prove that I was right. His anger escalated and drove at high rate of speed. I told him to slow down and he slammed on the brakes caused huge bump to my head.He said sorry and now can't look at me.

[jimi_s]

I still haven't read all of your writing but I am compelled to tell you to get the HELL out of there! This obese mother father does NOT , I mean NOT deserve YOU!

Fer GOD sake and all of His creations, fer crying out loud!

[dsmarie]

I did read the entire post and you need to GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP! This man clearly wants a woman at home to do the cleaning etc. so he can go out and chase tail, which he clearly has done in the past. "A leopard does not change his spots." Once a cheater always a cheater in my book. Take care of yourself, you deserve better!

[nice_lil_sprout]

I hope everything is better, now:)