What to do when husband is being distant?

[Hannahbanana94]

Husband and I almost divorced. Seperated the past month and have been rocky the past 2 months. He wanted a divorce said he didn’t love me anymore or miss me or anything. He didn’t file for divorce for 2 months so I told him to file and he said he didn’t know. I told him we don’t see each other so out of sight out of mind. Unless we are both watering our marriage it won’t work. So he said he was going to come back home and work on things. He came back yesterday and I laid next to him on the couch And then when we got in bed he cuddles with my son. I told him to put him in his bed and come cuddle with me and he said no that he was comfortable. We haven’t had sex in almost 1 month and half. I missed him to death and felt rejected. Shouldn’t he want to cuddle and have sex? He’s just very dry I don’t know what to do. He’s a Scorpio horoscope

[caring__1]

The two of you are speaking in vague generalities, but neither truly sees things through the eyes of the other. Ask him what has changed in the relationship, what is missing or what is present that triggers discomfort in him. Let him know time doesn't heal all wounds... it's what we do during that time that allows us to heal. Show him you care about his feelings and want to understand him. Don't make it all about your needs and desires. Let him know you'd love to see a team effort, with both of you working toward a common goal.

[Hannahbanana94]

So I will try that tonight. But I feel like I’m throwing myself at him. Like I wanted to hug and kiss him and I felt like the feeling wasn’t mutual. Like maybe he actually no longer loves me. We were together for 10 years

[caring__1]

That's not throwing yourself at him. Tell him you're interested in growing, and that requires an understanding of each experience in order to learn from it. Let him know you are curious and want to understand his experience. Tell him you'll respect his wishes, as you don't want him to do anything that doesn't work for him, but you'd appreciate anything he can do to open your eyes to see the full picture, allowing growth on your part.

It appears you didn't have much relationship experience prior to your relationship with him, so your knowledge of relationships is limited. Were you an expert the first time you got behind the wheel of a car? With each new experience while driving, you broadened your experience and enhanced your confidence. The same holds true with relationships. If all you know is the one thing, you'll feel like a fish out of water if anything changes.

Whatever you do, never accuse, blame, criticize, demand, legitimize or tell him what he should or shouldn't do. Address whatever he says. Seek clarification rather than make assumptions. If he says "I'm sad," and you respond with "Well, you shouldn't be sad," you'll be minimizing his feelings. Don't hijack the conversation and make it about you. Don't turn it into a competition. Just listen, and then feed back what you are hearing using your words, so he knows what you are hearing. If you're not sure how to word something, just ask, and I'll give you suggestions. If you'd prefer sending me a DM, that is fine.

[Hannahbanana94]

I sent you a DM

[Guy13]

Both of you: Control your Tongue 👅 for whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech. As a gentle tongue turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger.
The tongue is like a fire 🔥. It is like a whole world of trouble. It is part of our body. And it makes the whole body bad. It burns up our whole life. And the fire that makes the tongue burn comes from hell.

Even now, you two are going after one another with threats. Someone has to give snd stop nagging and one up man ship challenges.
Get me the hell out of that dynamic too.

Control your tongue 👅

[Summeroflove]

This is a really terrible situation. He doesn’t love you, being abusive, not affectionate, bad sex life, won’t put effort into making it work, won’t go to counseling, and the list goes on.

It could be a concern too if he’s dressing up more. If he was trying to impress other women.

He is your husband. There are times insssime people want space and that’s okay. But he won’t cuddle or have sex with his own wife? Yeah. That’s not good.

I don't really get into horoscopes.

[In_Trance]

talk to him