What’s the best way to reach out to my husband after separating or should I not?


My husband (30) and I (26) had a bad fight on May 13. We both said really terrible things to each other. He left to stay with his parents and the next day told me he wanted a divorce. I wasn’t sure whether to believe him because in the past he’s made a habit of saying he wants a divorce when he’s mad or hurt and knows it will get under my skin. However, we haven’t seen each other in 9 days and haven’t spoken at all in 4 days. He also scheduled an appt with an attorney. The last time we talked I could tell he’s still really mad and hurt over the things I said to him. I’ve apologized several times, told him how much I love him, and that I don’t want a divorce. He’s acted like he just wants space but then he’s also acted like he’s going to go through with a divorce. This is the last text I sent to him: “I hope you made it to __ safely. I want to give you what you’ve asked for. I love you. I’m so sorry. I hope you have a wonderful tournament, you’re going to do great!! I’m not going to reach back out. Not because my feelings have changed or because I’m upset or mad. But simply because I want to honor what you’ve asked for.”

He never responded at all and that was almost 5 days ago. I just miss him a lot. I want to tell him it’s crazy to get divorced over this. There’s so many things I want to say, but I’m scared of pushing him further away. Should I try to reach out? Or wait until he reaches out to me? If he doesn’t reach out, at what point would it be okay for me to reach out? Does anyone have any advice on what I could/should say? His appt with the attorney is coming up within the next week. I just want to do everything I can to try to fight for my marriage. We’ve been together a total of 6 years, but we’ve liked each other since we were kids. He’s my best friend and I’m just really hurting that he’s not around.

(Cheating isn’t an issue. He’s been staying with his parents and their house is almost in our backyard.)

What’s the best way to reach out to my husband after separating or should I not?
6 Opinion