How to make my husband miss me during separation?

[Anonymous]

My husband and I are going through a separation, and it’s been a tough time. Divorce seems to be on the horizon, but deep down, I still care about him and wonder if there’s a way to make him miss me during this time apart. Is there a way to remind him of the connection we once had without coming across as desperate?

[Finchie40]

It just depends on why you both are going through a separation/divorce in the first place? What happened for you both to get this way? When my wife and I separated, I was the one that walked away because of the way she treated me and lied to me about things, on top of everything else that occurred , my final straw with her was finding out she was secretly talking to a male coworker that was texting her sexual things which I immediately assumed she was cheating on me , so I ended it with her and kicked her out of the home. She swore she didn’t cheat on me and that he was the one making the moves on her but she claimed she ignored it and just liked him as a friend. So I didn’t believe her for a long time , but she begged and begged for me back , I didn’t hate her , I was just upset with her and no longer felt I could trust her during that time. Taking the separation gave me time to figure myself out, about what I really wanted to do. I did end up meeting another girl and I dated her for awhile and she treated me better than my wife did , things were going great with the new girl and I until her husband knocked on my door and I found out she was married and cheating on her husband with me. So that was the end of that. My wife on the other hand was still trying to get me back and said she Loved me and always did Love me and claimed she never cheated on me so I made her prove it to me and she proved it by showing me all the texts from him to her and my wife was clearly not responding back to his sexual messages and just laughing about it , She ended her friendship with him when he didn’t get the hint that she wasn’t interested in him that way So i eventually gave my wife another chance and things were great between us again for awhile , until shit hit the fan again , I realized my wife and I are not good for each other because we constantly butt heads on things so Now we still live together but we stay in separate rooms. We had a serious talk just recently and she wants to save our marriage and as for me i don’t know what I want anymore , I still love her and care about her but she isn’t the girl for me. I am nothing but honest with my wife so I don’t know what is going to happen between us , I told her if I meet someone else that I will let her know the truth so she can make plans to move on. She wants to try marriage counseling with me and I said fine I will go with her. I told her understand that marriage counseling doesn’t mean we are going to save our marriage it can also make us drift apart once the truth starts shining , she claims she has been nothing but honest with me and never cheated on me. So we will see.

[RichA322]

You should absolutely NOT do anything like this ! Period !

There are only two possibilities:

1) You both still love each other. Then you should and Could save the Marriage. Because he still has the full romantic feeling for you. And then you just need to talk to him, share more intimacy, talk about the good old time or do some counselling. He still loves you and deep down doesn't want the divorce either. Then you can follow all the other people here with their tips on how to save it.

Or

2) You do NOT love each other any longer

aka

You still love him but he doesn't return the feeling any longer. Then the relationship is over. I write that again: IF HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE AS HIS WIFE, THE RELATIONSHIP IS OVER ! The ship is definitely sinking. You can NOT stop it, regardless how much you try. If the fire of love is fully extinguished, it's out forever. It is over. If he wants the relationship to end, You can NOT save it. The ship is taking on water more than it can handle. It's time to abandon ship...

You can NOT and should not try to force him to stay with you (because deep down this is what you are trying by making him miss you) if there are no more romantic feelings from his side. It is the best thing to stop trying to save the relationship, if he doesn't love you anymore. The ship is sinking ! Stop telling yourself: "it can't sink! I can save it somehow!!!" No you CAN'T. There are thousands of similar stories here, on Reddit, on YouTube, on Facebook, etc, etc. it will only end in much more pain for both of you. It's time to go to the lifeboats... If it's over, you MUST make a hard cut in the (soon to be) former relationship. You MUST! If you try to make him miss you (even if it works) you are ruining his life AND your life. The feelings are not enough for a successful relationship anymore but by keeping him around you are preventing yourself and him from ever becoming happy again with another person. Because you keep that wounds open by constantly making him miss you (because YOU miss him) you are never gonna heal. Because you are permanently around each other reminding each other of the "good old times" while the time passes and the pain gets worse and worse and slowly turns into hatred. That way the wounds will never ever heal, which will forever prevent any successful future relationship with someone else. Its basically like standing next to the dead body of your best friend who was you killed on the battlefield during a war, but since you can not let go of him you keep standing next to his dead body on the battlefield and keep looking at the remain. That way the Trauma and Pain is never ever gonna end. Just stop it ! If he wants the relationship to end. It's over. You need a clear cut and heal your heart and not keep that wound open !

If he wants to end it because he doesn't love you anymore, it over. Make a clear (and painful) cut and get him completely out of your life. It might sound harsh, but you NEED that pain, that feeling of a broken heart. It's the first step of healing and being ready again for someone else to love you. That pain will make you stronger in the long term and make you ready to return the feelings of someone else in the future. If you keep stuck in a relationship that is over from his side, that ship (your former marriage) will drag you down into the depth with it ! And when you realise it, years or decades of your life have passed and all possibilities of getting happy with someone else are over... THEN you will experience what REAL pain is. That realisation that you were trying to save something that can not be saved anymore and that you have wasted your whole life on it, instead of allowing another Human to make you happy again. That will REALLY hurt ! If it's over, make a clear (and painful) cut. That does NOT meant that you should start yelling and screaming at each other and do all communication via a lawyer. You can be a responsible adult and do the divorce like normal adults instead of starting a divorce war at divorce court. But you need to create distance. Physical and emotional distance. Make a clear cut. Get him out of your life completely. Erase his pictures, block his social media accounts, move a a different city or at least to a different part of the city. You need to close that chapter of your life in order to be able to open up a new chapter of your life with someone else. Don't hang around him, continuously pinning for him. It's over, he will not take you back.

Again, if he STILL loves you follow some of the advice of the other people here. Then you can save the marriage. Otherwise accept the hard reality: It's Over...

That being said. I wish you all the best during such a hard time. You can get through this. Most of us have made similar experiences. It's something nobody likes, but it's a part of life and it make you stronger long term.

[electromagnetic]

I mean, you can’t. If y’all are already on no contact in separation, it’s what he thinks and feels about you and nothing else. You cannot magically do things or say things to make him miss you. That’s just manipulative to get you what you want.
if he really missed you, you’d know but clearly he’s feeling aren’t where YOU want them to be and you’re gonna have to respect that.

[Anonymous]

once you cross this line, there is no going back. if he wanted to miss you, he would. if you want him to miss you, don't talk to him

[Summeroflove]

You cannot make anyone feel anything. You can talk to him and express how you feel honestly. But that’s all you can do and if he’s honest with you. Whether it’s what you want to hear or not. It is what it is.

[daddy]

Focus on yourself improve, grow, and live well. Give him space to reflect. Stay confident and positive in any interactions. Share happy moments subtly on social media. A little mystery and absence can reignite curiosity. Let him miss the best version of you, not the one begging for attention.

[Asker]

Focusing on self-growth and confidence always makes a big impact. Thanks for advice

[bjork]

Sometimes, distance helps both partners reflect. Maintain respectful communication, but avoid excessive contact. Remind him of the positive aspects of your relationship subtly through shared memories or actions, but let him come to miss you naturally.

[Asker]

Giving space while keeping things positive sounds like a healthy approach. Appreciate the advice

[barbie]

Distance can create longing, but only if you seem happy and independent. Avoid chasing him; instead, subtly remind him of your best qualities. Share positive moments on social media, stay mysterious, and let him wonder. If he truly cares, he’ll realize your value on his own.

[Asker]

Keeping a sense of mystery and focusing on personal happiness definitely makes a difference. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Be the woman he needs, and somehow let him know you are committed to that. That's a generalization, but it's true. I don't know the details of your situation so it's impossible to give you an informed answer.

Having said that, my advice would be to do some soul searching and make an honest assessment of what his grievances are, and what the alternative would have looked like... the alternative in which he was happy, satisfied and fulfilled. Then set aside your pride, talk to him and let him know you love and value him and your marriage, and you want to be the woman he needs... and here is how you commit to doing that (very specifically).

PS - he should do the same thing, but he's not here. You are here and you're motivated. I don't know whether he is.

I wish you the best and sincerely hope you can work things out and find happiness together.

[FunnyButNotFunnyHaHa]

You make him miss you by being nice to him when you were together.

Which one of you initiated the separation? What was the issue that caused the separation?

Hopefully the good times you had as a married couple will remind your husband of why he wanted to be with you in the first place.

[Harley337564]

After a long time apart, I never thought my husband would come back. Thanks to Dr. Wafi's amazing spell, my dreams have come true! Having him home is the greatest gift. If you’re looking for a miracle, I highly recommend reaching out to Dr. Wafi at drwafisolutionhome@gmail. com You deserve happiness!

[molonski2]

There is absolutely no way , and its also pointless , you have agreed to this separation , and now divorce is simply a given , you only have to wait , its all over.

[TonyMetal___86]

Why are you separated if you still care about him, acting like kids, go there and show him that you still love him before it's too late and if he has the same feeling than no need to be separated anymore!

[Anonymous]

Be nice, sweet, feminine, etc... Basically the opposite of how you were after you stopped looking at him as valuable. Whenever that was. Think of him the way you think of the other guys in your life that you try to impress.

[beenherebefore]

Honestly, give him as much space as he needs and that means no contact at all. You need to be patient cuz it might feel like an eternity but the longer you give him the better.

[MannMitAntworten]

…and who had the idea to separate in the first place? If it was you then it is up to you to fix the problem. Not him. If it was him, chances are extremely high that he is completely done with you. It takes hell on earth for men to want to file.

[Anonymous]

Ok first of all why is divorce an option? Who’s the one who’s more than likely going to initiate this? He’s not feeling the same way about you as he used to? You cheated? Basically why is this an issue right now?

[Miristheiss]

Nope.

If you choose to separate then it is over.

You are most likely fucking other men on this break so things are over.

[jazzy34]

First things first, why are the two of you separated in the first place?

[Duckkb]

That's not relevant if she wants him to miss her...

[KrakenAttackin]

No, you care about what he provides and you don't want him to find another woman. If you genuinely cared for him you would make your marriage work.

[Anonymous]

I think the separation will reveal his true feelings and intentions. You may have to let this one work itself out and let him go. If he truly loves you or even likes you, he would be trying to at least reconcile.

[Wise4myage]

Send him some nudes and mention how much you miss him?

[Anonymous]

After all the backstabbing cheating and betrayal you're lucky he still even talks to you. Disrespecting boundaries you're lucky he still talks to you

[captain_voidwalker]

Stop being vindictive, just separate and move on with your life

[GlowUpGirly5]

Why won't you just move on?

[Crazzyyworld]

Lose weight and get a sexy outfit

[Eleni0199]

Stop doing what you do to make his life easier.

[Jmmmfi4]

Don't think you can