What do I do when I feel like my husband is emotionally detached and no longer cares about me or anything?

[Anonymous]

We’ve been together for a total of 7 years, married for 4 of those years. We have a 1 year old son. I love him dearly and I feel like these past few months he’s become very distant. Been fighting a little more since November of last year but always came out strong in the past. Lately he’s emotially detached. Doesn’t really show affection anymore, doesn’t kiss me or anything unless I try and go for it and he makes it feel like a chore. We still have sex about 1x a week but sometimes I feel like he’s just quick about it to finish. I tried to communicate and he kept saying he didn’t care and wasn’t mad. And I asked if he loved me and he said I guess since we’re together but that he didn’t care wether he was with me or not. And that he just didn’t have feelings towards anything anymore. My birthday was last week and we were fighting prior but I thought things were fine- apparently not because on my birthday he barely acknowledged me yet alone barely said happy birthday. He use to be very controlling/jealous about the way I dress. But nothing even makes him bothered anymore. It breaks my heart because I miss the old version of him that always showed affection and made me feel loved.

what can I do to help make my marriage better? I want all the affection and love back but lately I’ve been fighting about it so much that I feel like I’m pushing him away more. I’ve been trying to be positive but it’s so hard. Please give me advice. I don’t want to kiss and hug him and feel like he feels it’s a chore. I want him to want to do it and want to be around me and want to be with me again.

[Sparkie460]

What made his feelings for you change? It sounds like he fell out of love with you for some reason. Out of curiosity, what starts the fights that you have been having?

[Asker]

Nagging I guess. I feel like it’s my fault. Will he fall back in love with me? I keep trying lately but he still
Pushes me away

[Sparkie460]

Are you the one who is nagging him? Maybe if you promise not to nag him his feelings may change. If he's nagging you, maybe try to find a happy medium so he doesn't have to nagging you about things

[Kreneman]

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. The first thing you need to do is analyze yourself and go to a counselor by yourself first because it will show you if you played a role in the problem or not and it will show where you need to improve as the wife. Second, then approach him on your results by telling him in a loving way. Third, is being patient and still continuing your duties as his wife. In my opinion, I think he have an issue that you were not aware of that probably trigger him to shutdown and you will definitely see it when you try these steps. I will pray for you both and feel free to keep me updated.

[WhitneySnow]

Maybe he’s depressed

[Asker]

He’s fine with everyone else. It’s just me that he treats this way

[WhitneySnow]

Maybe you guys need counseling

[dophix]

You two must go in marriage counselling

[Asker]

He refuses to go. What are my next options?

[dophix]

That's odd... have u tried talking to him with judgement free? Let him express himself freely.

[Asker]

Yes. He just says he doesn’t care about anything anymore. Wether he’s with me or not. Part of me feels like he doesn’t want to be together but doesn’t want to be the one to end it

[dophix]

Don't give up yet. Give him time.. maybe he is having a hard time.

[Asker]

He asked for a divorce back in February and I talked him into giving it another try. He said he wasn’t happy and then finally agreed to give it a try. So part of me feels like he still wants a divorce

[Anonymous]

Have you considered marriage counseling?

[Asker]

Yes. He refuses to attend