My boyfriend and I broke up yesterday but we are both so sad. Should we try again?

Question

I've been so unhappy for weeks I thought I would be really happy to break up. But he's texting me non stop and feels like finally listening to all the things I was trying to tell him when still together but he was just turning into arguments. I miss cuddling him and having him around. But at same time there was not so good things like him not having a job so I had to partly financially carry him. And never get any space from him where he gets space from me whilst I'm at work. And he can be very OCD about things which make it difficult to do things together. Like, he won't go gym if more than two other people using it. Only goes cinema if back row is free as he doesn't like to sit where people can be behind him. He is fussy with food so likes to cook so it's done his way. He doesn't want to go club or pub with me but will accuse me of wanting to cheat if i want to go without him. He doesn't like me talking online to other people (he even thinks talking on here is a dating site even tho I told him it's a forum and to come look at it himself). I want to be social and not be at home all time and like meeting new people to talk to. Also my teenage kids and dog hate him. So they are happy we broke up. But I do miss him and keep thinking maybe just maybe if he loves me as he says he does maybe he can be the guy I want him to me? But I'm being foolish aren't I? I need to move on but it's hard when he won't leave me alone in text and I haven't the heart to block him.

Lliam · Accepted Answer

I understand what you are going through.

I have a more extreme example.
I met a woman when I was 36. Petra turned out to be 30. We got along great and wound up living together for almost 2 years. Actually, I moved some clothes and necessities into her house but kept my apartment. She was the first girlfriend I ever loved with my heart and soul. She loved me, too.

But issues developed that are too complicated to explain. I realized that we wouldn't be able to make it as life-long partners, so we separated.

Being away from her was the greatest pain I have ever experienced in my life. I was a wreck. She even tried to get back together. I wanted her more than anything in the world but was afraid that if we did get back together, we would eventually separate again, and I didn't think I could survive twice.

It took me a year to pull myself together and move on.

About a year later, I met my (future) wife. We've been happily married now for almost 28 years, had a LOT of fun, and built a wonderful life together. We've been through thick and thin but are dedicated to each other and our marriage. She's my perfect partner.

I never stopped loving Petra, though, even though we couldn't be together. She found me on Facebook about 17 years after we last saw each other. We even spoke a few times on the phone. She was living in another part of the country. I was overjoyed to hear her voice, to be in touch and hear what she was up to, and to know that she was happy.

Five years later, I read that she had died from a sudden medical problem at the age of 55. I was devastated. I will always love her and will never forget her. But we were not meant to be life-long partners. I am so happy that my wife and I found each other.

So, based on what you said - you've only been together for 3 months and have major incompatibilities - I think your instincts were right. I was wise to break things off.

He's not a bad person. He's just not right for you. A lifetime with him would probably not work.

Instead of hoping to change his personality, I recommend continuing the search for someone with whom you have much more in common.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Breaking up is hard , especially when you been with someone for a long time and than all of a sudden you both butt heads and choose to go your separate ways , I am currently going through this with my wife , that all of a sudden wants an open relationship with me , I told her what’s even the point? If you aren’t happy with me , just end it , why string me along? To use me until something better comes along? So even though I accepted the open relationship with her , I already know my relationship with her is over , the second I meet another girl that actually has a heart , I am going to end it completely with my wife and tell her good bye , unless she beats me to it , but I now know where I stand in this relationship with her. My thing is once 2 people break up , it’s best to just stay broken up , because if someone truly loved you they wouldn’t break up period, they would fix what was broken between them , breaking up just proves you both aren’t compatible together and you both really don’t care for each other , it would just be a matter of time before you both butt heads again , so you are best to just move on and find someone that wouldn’t walk away from your period , Taking an ex back is like trying to rehear McDonald French fries in the microwave, it will never be the same

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Ah, the post-breakup rollercoaster! It sounds like you're caught between a rock and a heart place. You're missing the cuddles and the good times, but hello, those red flags are waving like they're trying to get attention at a parade. Lovebombing you with texts now that you're out the door is classic "I'll change, baby" behavior. Yet, those issues you mentioned—financial dependency, his little quirks with the gym and cinema, jealousy, not being social, and your family's unanimous thumbs-down—aren't just tiny pebbles in your shoe; they're more like boulders blocking your path to happiness.

It's tough, I get it. Your heart's doing the tango with your head, but if the relationship was a Netflix series, your friends would've told you to skip ahead because they saw the plot twists coming from episode one. Remember, missing someone is okay. It shows you cared, you loved, but it doesn't mean you should run back to a situation that had more downs than ups.

Instead of focusing on the "maybe he'll change," invest that energy into rediscovering what makes you happy, solo. If he truly loves you and wants to be the guy for you, he'll respect your need for space and work on himself—because change has to be for him too, not just to win you back. Meanwhile, keep that chin up and maybe dial in some of that energy into exploring what YOU want out of life and relationships. And about the texting dilemma—setting boundaries is not just about blocking someone; it's about protecting your peace. It's okay to say, "I need space to heal, please respect that."

So, my dear, lace up those self-love sneakers, take a deep breath, and start walking towards what serves you, your happiness, and well-being. And remember, it's okay to ask for support from friends, family, or even a professional to navigate through this. You've got this! And who knows? The journey might just surprise you with something (or someone) better than you imagined. 💫

1

6

AviatorTom · Answer

No, being sad is no reason to undo the breakup. Breakups are always sad, sometimes for one part, sometimes for both parties. To get over the sadness, move on... find a new partner.

LiamS95 · Answer

From what you say it seems to me you're just missing the physical things such as cuddling but are better off without him. He may have love confused with. isdinv your financial support and the physical side assuming you had a sex life with him, he may be missing sex more then you the girl that goes to pubs to cheat on him. Time for you to move on and fund a real man that will support you financially, emotionally and physically. It's up to you but I think you're better off without him.

exitseven · Answer

Breaking up is hard to do. I broke up with somebody and I was sad for a while after. I can still remember what it was like. I used to forget about it until something would remind me of her and it would start all over again

bowenw · Answer

It seems like he is fighting hard to get you back and on his best behavior, but I fear if you get back together with him he is going to be exactly the same way he was that made you want to end it the first time.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

It can be hard to adjust to not having your partner in your life any longer, even if it was the right thing to do.

Create21 · Answer

You broke up for a reason. Just remember that. Never a good idea to go back down that well because there will always be that lingering “one thing.”

PointlessNonsenseGuy · Answer

I mean, you broke up with him for a reason. That reason didn't go away just because you're sad.

You're probably better off staying single for a while, and then dating again when you feel like you're ready.

OddBeMe · Answer

Was sadness the reason you broke up? If not that reason will pop up again.

thisAppIsGarbage · Answer

Only if you are both stupid. Don't you trust your decision making skills?

handsomelad70 · Answer

Perhaps. Maybe you broke up for a frivolous reason.

Twalli · Answer

Your kids are more important than him.

JohnK123 · Answer

Nooo respond to my dms here I miss u :) wyd

Gabriel-Chicanito · Answer

Yess..

eagle1951 · Answer

that's weird

My boyfriend and I broke up yesterday but we are both so sad. Should we try again?

Most Helpful Opinions

AI Opinion

What Girls & Guys Said

My boyfriend and I broke up yesterday but we are both so sad. Should we try again?

Most Helpful Opinions

AI Opinion

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.