Should we break up? help?

[Anonymous]

I met this guy about 10 months ago, and we started dating about 6 months ago. Everything was really great up until like 3 weeks ago. We started “living” together around 3 weeks ago, we each have our own apartment but spends most of the time with me. The thing is, I suddenly started feeling disgusted by him. The way he talked, the way he acted. He became very annoying and I started acting different around him. I stopped being touchy and romantic. He was always very childish and would get mad at very dumb things, and i used to be very understanding, but now i just ignore him. He asked me if something was wrong, and told me I was acting very “cold”. I told him I wasn’t feeling very well and that I didn’t know what was going on. I told him that maybe I was feeling overwhelmed about spending so much time together, and he got kind of defensive saying I probably dont like him anymore and that im not nice to him anymore. I tried to explain to him the way im feeling, I even told him that I was thinking of going to therapy to see if it was depression, and told him we could make some changes to feel better. At the end he told he understood, but then today we started talking about the topic again and he got defensive again. He even asked me if I was with someone else, and then said that he didn’t like that i wanted more time alone when that was not what he wanted. Kind of saying that i was only thinking about me. He then told me he was sorry, again. I dont know what to do because clearly he doesn't accept what im proposing and i feel he resents me for it. I thought we have talked about it, and that he understood, but i feel bad that he is bringing it up again. I understand that he wasn't expecting this change and that he might think its because i dont like him anymore, but it feels weird to be with someone that, even after telling him that im not feeling well and im feeling a little depressed, he is still pressuring me or making me feel worse.

[SugarSugarplum]

So: from HIS perspective, things were progressing, then you suddenly got all cold. He asked you what was wrong and you LIED to him, saying it was maybe depression, when you were just disgusted by his actions.
He thought you were good for him - at least good enough to spend most of his free time with you.
1. Some men once they get sex, feel like they don't really have to try anymore.
2. You can't expect him to figure you out of you're not being honest with him.
3. I think you're already 80% checked-out of this relationship, you have 2 choices.

A. Be honest and tell him what's REALLY bothering you, and try to salvage the relationship.
B. If that seems like too much anxiety/effort, you're already checked out of the relationship. Call it off.

These steps MUST be taken BEFORE you turn up pregnant and ruin the lives of innocent babies.

[Anonymous]

I'm not going to read any of this but you should talk to a therapist not people on here about an active relationship. People on here or not trained and will probably mess up your relationship. Apparently no one wants to take the advice of someone under the age of 18 though so do what you want.

[stvigor]

It sounds like you both like each other touchy time is getting toxic and its eating at the trust in the relationship when you're away from each other. Maybe time in a different room no phone with a hobby,

[AI Opinion]

Ah, love, your situation is like a rollercoaster ride that's lost a bit of its thrill, isn't it? Wrestling with feelings of disgust and annoyance after moving in together is the script of many romantic comedies, but in real life, it's far less amusing and definitely a sign that a conversation is needed. It seems like both of you are in a transition phase, which can be tricky!

Your eagerness to consider therapy is a commendable effort to understand your feelings better and is a sign of maturity. 🌟 But it sounds like your communication lines are as tangled as a pair of headphones in the bottom of a gym bag. Your guy feeling defensive and bringing up issues repeatedly suggests he's feeling insecure and maybe a little love-starved.

Perhaps instead of splitting ways immediately, trying to establish a healthier communication pattern could be the way to go. Seek that therapy for yourself, sure, but also consider couple's counseling. It could help both of you learn how to express your needs and feelings without triggering defensiveness or resentment. Remember, timing is everything, and sometimes, taking a step back is what you need to leap forward together.

But, darling, if the thought of spending more time fixing this than being happy in it makes your heart sink, it might be time to consider lovingly letting go. Being in a relationship should feel like a cozy sweater, not an itchy woolen scarf. Trust your feelings, communicate openly, and whatever you decide, do it with kindness for both him and you. 💕

[Anonymous]

How does he talk