How should I feel about my husband spending his time with web cam models over me?

Shellcollins
We have been married for 9 years together 12. Our sex life has always been very good ( 4 times a week would be a bad week for us). I am not afraid to try new exciting things either. I am a very insecure person but I am told I am very attractive. Last year I began to feel that a distance was growing between us he wasn't spending as much time with our boys and myself. I initially told myself it was because he worked shift work and was tired. When I began feeling he wasn't attracted to me as much i tried to spice it up with provactive pictures to his phone and skimpier lingerie. Well a year ago I finally looked on his Google history ( he was always on that phone) I found that he had been a daily and most days hourly visitor to Chaturbate. For 2 years he had been paying for privates and had even forged a somewhat friendship/relationship with one of them. I was able to get his chat history and learned he had shared everything about our marriage, our family, and even had sent her pictures of himself, me , and our kids. He purchased a new car I am forced to drive everyday based on his favorite pair of underwear she wore. I found out he was receiving nudes from these women on a daily bases (this was devastating to me as I had been doing the same, i was not special). The total he spent on these women was close to $4,000, i would have done most of these things for free. I am having a hard time getting past this. He claimes he knew it was wrong and would hurt me but he didn't see it as cheating at the time. He claims that he did not want them over me, yet he spent hours with them instead of me. He spent Valentines day, our anniversary, my birthday and every day in between with them. Someone please help me see how his actions are not proof he wanted them over me! He also had made several social media accounts he hid from me that he used to communicate with them. I also found several dating profiles that he was "seperated" or " single" on. Am I being dramatic holding on to this?
How should I feel about my husband spending his time with web cam models over me?
5 Opinion