Boyfriends mom and grandma STILL clean up after him?

My boyfriend is almost 30 years old, owns his own house, and on the outside looks like he is mature and handles his business. He and I started dating 6 months ago. I work near his house so I partially moved in. I go to college as well so during school days I stay in my house near campus, and on days I have to work or on weekends I basically live with him. Since it's the summer I'm living with him fully.

The biggest issue is, both his mom and grandparents know this, yet they constantly come over unannounced because they have keys, and clean up after him. It's really irritating because they'll throw stuff away (like food) or move things (mine included). For example, my dogs food needs to be refrigerated. It looks like human food. His grandma came over and froze it all so now I can't feed him because it's all stuck together and frozen. She also moved my shoes, clothes and wallet. I feel like I have no privacy.

Another time, I was at his house while he was at work and I did not have class that day. I was studying in my sports bra & his boxers when his mom and her husband just burst through the door. I was so embarrassed because I was indecent. I know it's not my house but I they know I'm almost always there. I always feel some anxiety being at his house alone knowing they could just burst in. They wash his clothes, fix his bed, wash his dishes, pick up his house, etc but he's a grown ass man!!!

I'm thinking I should just stop spending as much time over there and not sleep over. It's way too uncomfortable knowing other people are touching an moving my stuff. I haven't said anything to him yet because I know how close he is to his family and I'm just his gf. However, he brought up the idea of me moving in but I'm definitely planning on saying no with this situation at hand. Any advice?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Only BF wants you there, no one else does & are gleefully making it uncomfortable... as side benefit, not as a primary goal

    Family is lost w/o their job of raising little boy BF, they will never give up this job and bulldoze anyone out of the way. That said, as poorly as this makes him appear, some of the most successful & rich have been raised this way (e.g. Hunt family).

    You are living these rent free but "living" is compromised b/c you have to fight so hard to have study & down time, extra time with simple duties like feeding pet.

    You move out - will he move some other gal in? He's obviously used to life being convenient and effortless.

    Me? If she were hot enough, I would fight & stay.

    Always be dressed as if at work (unless behind locked bath/BR door)
    Label everything pet wise
    Store personal stuff in a locked drawer or $30 safe nailed down
    Always greet my free landlords with enthusiasm, good news updates of their child, praise for cleaning = most popular GF he's ever had
    Only when asked, supply glowing reports of my college success and hopes to support him in business someday, come to ALL family events (ugh)


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • He's clearly a bit of a kid if he still needs his mommy cleaning up after him.

    Talk to him about this.

  • "but he's a grown ass man!!!"

    Is he?

    His parents sound like voyeurs.

  • Maybe he is to busy? I don't know I am 21 and I do most of this stuff on my own so who knows.


What Girls Said 1

  • just think what you will have to go through, if you get your own place with him, but i would stop sleeping over as well

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