Boyfriend has herpes and didn't tell me. Is it bad?

[carenina]

When we started our relationship he didn't tell it to me. Last February, he said that he had herpes which wasn't popped up for 1.5 years but now he saw some. I got very angry and told him why he didn't tell me because it is very dangerous for me and he wasn't careful enough when we protect. He said that he was scared if I don't want to have a relationship with him. I feel betrayed and heart broken. I feel like that since February. When I mention this he cries. The things I feel normal?

[Lliam]

That guy is a selfish liar. He knew damned well that he had an incurable venereal disease and deliberately withheld that fact from you. What kind of piece of shit would do that?

"Even when no sores are present, the herpes virus is still active in the body and can spread to others."
There are drugs to control the outbreaks, but they are not a cure and don't prevent spreading it to others.

Don't have any more sex with that guy until you get yourself tested!
Not even with a condom! Don't even kiss him.

If you test positive, then I guess you can have all the sex you want with him.
If you test negative, you dodged a bullet.

Don't ever trust him again. Let him cry over that. Don't buy any of his guilt trips.

He didn't care if he hurt you. In fact, he may thought that he could trap you by giving you herpes because few other guys would want to date you after that.

Herpes really isn't a big deal except for the fact that no disease-free person wants to acquire it, so it really limits your ability to find a partner.

[bolverk]

Your concerns are Valid, but it is not ' very dangerous' unless you are already Immunocompromised. Once a person contracts herpes, it's a lifelong condition. Symptoms usually include sores that last for up to 10 days. Some people experience no herpes symptoms. Others choose antiviral treatment to reduce outbreaks.

Firstly get yourself checked to see if you have contracted it, though if he was not in a ‘break out’ while you’ve had sex it is not likely that you’ll have contracted it.

That he has not had a 'break out for over 1.5 years shows that he has been looking after himself and his recent 'break out' could be due to another illness or stress.

If your boyfriend takes his recommended medication any of the following, Acyclovir (Sitavig®, Zovirax®), Famciclovir (Famvir®), Valacyclovir (Valtrex®) and either abstains from sex or uses a condom when he has an ‘break out’ (having sex during ‘break out’ can be uncomfortable). Him voiding known triggers, such as illness or stress, can help reduce how often he’ll have herpes outbreaks.

[Radiate143]

The lying is a problem. Herpes is not dangerous and definitely not very.

Nearly everyone has some sort of herpes and, it is highly treatable. Most people forget they even have it. You should educate yourself.

He is probably very ashamed. I think you should step back from the situation. Have empathy but ultimately do what is best for you. It doesn't change the fact that he acted selfishly and concealed dealbreaker info.

He robbed you of the right to make an informed decision and there should be consequences.

[PBandJ_Nerd]

I would say you have every right to be upset. If I was with a guy and he didn't tell me he had an STD/STI, I'd be pretty upset too. I'd go get tested ASAP though, to make sure you haven't caught them yourself (I hope that you haven't). But whether you want to continue dating him or not is up to you in the end. If it were me, I wouldn't want to date him anymore.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating through the stormy seas of love, aren't we? 😏 It's completely understandable that you're feeling a whirlwind of emotions. Trust is the bedrock of any relationship, and finding out your partner withheld such significant information can definitely feel like a betrayal. It's like dancing in the rain without realizing there's a chance of getting struck by lightning.

Your feelings of anger and heartbreak are as normal as craving chocolate on a bad day. It's okay to feel betrayed because, in a way, your trust was put on the line. However, his fear of losing you paints a tragic shade of human vulnerability. It doesn't justify his actions, but it does add a layer of complexity to the situation.

This storm doesn’t have to end in shipwreck. Open communication is key. Expressing your feelings, setting boundaries, and discussing how to navigate the health aspect together can strengthen your bond. After all, relationships are about growing, understanding, and sometimes forgiving. Love is a journey, not a destination. Keep the dialogue open; it's the bridge to each other's hearts. And remember, it's okay to seek guidance to navigate through these turbulent waters. Love is complicated, but with compassion and honesty, it's a beautiful adventure. 🚢💔🌈

[electromagnetic]

Love Doc, you need some campassion training. Your start off was garbage.

[DishLady]

Is the situation bad? Yeah. You might become infertile bc of this or have complications down the line when you're planning to have/deliver a baby...

Is the guy bad? Yeah. He lied and hid this from you just to have sex. His being scared isn't a reason not to tell you something that important.

You need to toughen up and let this guy go. No one cares that he's crying. He simply is in the wrong and did you wrong. If he did this with the herpes you're bound to have other, bigger glitches down the road. What else will he hide from you? Pfft.

[Finchie40]

Yea that’s fucked up that he didn’t tell you , and sorry to say , you more than likely have them now. So it’s up to you on what you want to do? You have every right to be pissed off and upset about it , since he didn’t tell you the truth , until after the fact. If I was you , I would end that relationship because sadly that shows what kind of person he truly is , by keeping something like that , a secret from you , also go get tested by your doctor. to see if you have them now or not. Most people with herpes will say oh it’s not that big of a deal , yea it’s not that big of a deal to you because you have them , but it’s a big deal to me , because I don’t have them and I don’t want them. So it gives them no right to lie to my face , I would lose all respect for that person and no longer trust that person. You wanna talk about Red Flags , that’s a huge Red Flag right there.

[RavVid]

It is unacceptable he didn't tell you he had an STD.

Now as far as I know there are two viruses. One is the simple cold sore virus - for some reason it occurs where it was introduced you could get a cold sore from kissing but it s going to be on your mouth not genitals.

A related virus also causes gential herpes. it is more likely to have repeat outbreaks, the cold sore virus is not likely too.

A problem is that unless the herpes sores are only on the penis shaft a condom is not going to give protection.

You need to get medical advice rather than internet advice and not have sex till you have. I think there are treatments that lessen outbreaks and that is something to also get medical advice.

Herpes scares me more than any other STD. I did ask a doctor and she told me I wouldn't be able to check if a girl has herpes so I guess that applies to guys too.

[Caroline91]

Are you kidding is that bad? What else is he going to decide not to mention just so he can be in a relationship with you... based on deceit? This is beyond selfish. There are some things we just have a right to know BEFORE getting into a relationship with someone. I hope you keep thinking about this and then do what you think is right for you.

[sawno]

Yeah you are right to feel that way. You were robbed of a choice trough deceit. Its not really the herpes, i'm sure if he forgot about it until the flareup its a different story. But the fact he purposefully didn't tell you is a sign to distrust. He put you at risk and lied to you. You probably thought he was trust worthy and now you discovered its not what you thought. So i'd feel the same way in your position.

[MackBoy]

He feels sad to tell you because you might leave him, you ask him to get medicine and get if he wants to continue relationship with you. but make sure to have contact with him through online. herpes is contagious. It is a common sexually transmitted infection caused by the herpes simplex virus (HSV). It can be transmitted through skin-to-skin contact, including sexual contact, kissing, and even touching infected areas. you can anti herpes pill at pharmacies. best way to cure is to eat small pieces of garlic which is a natural and the best antibiotic.

[Daniela1982]

When you have sex with someone it is your job to do your due diligence. If you didn't ask then it is your mistake. You always protect yourself as others won't. The bad news is that herpes is not curable, so your trust in someone screwed yourself. 😔

[Purpleronnie]

You seem to be assuming he knew? And purposely didn’t tell you. Is that fact? Is this genital herpes? How is his health? Why doesn’t this feature in your story? I seem to be missing a few facts here. Maybe it occurred to you that his fear points to the fact that he if he wasn’t symptomatic he didn’t actually know? How did he learn that he has herpes? ……

[MsProsperity]

He’s crying to manipulate you, he’s wrong for keeping a huge secret. What more is he hiding from you?

[slatyb]

It's very bad. He was having sex with you without your full consent, risking your health. He cries? That's another way for him to avoid responsibility and put it back in you. Do you want to continue this relationship?

[dustybiker2]

I think he's proven himself well. As an ex.


You might not have it. Don't worry until if you see signs. Just be careful with others if you break up.

[Anonymous]

If he knew he had it but was in remission he should have mentioned it, not sure if you got it but women are more sensitive to it so you should get tested, wearing condoms doesn’t always work but it helps. I can definitely understand why you feel like that, I even had a scare once because of someone I was with but they told me in time and got checked and was fine luckily

[Anonymous]

Yes. He already is putting his needs above yours. Man, hopefully you didn't have sex with him yet! The gift that keeps on giving from partners who don't give a shot about you. I mean, unless you like random bloody sores on your privates that look repulsive and itch?

[Levin]

Err, whatever happens I'd be breaking up with that person straight away.

That's some incredibly scummy selfish behaviour.

[laly520]

he is so wrong for that

its ok to cry but it isn't ok if he will use it to manipulate u emotionally

ig best option would be to sit down together n talk it out

[Alex-Snow]

He is a jerk for not telling you because it can affect ur health and body. I would stiop having sex with him if I were you

[exitseven]

That is a bad move on his part. You should be angry. I hope that you did not get it.

[Sasquach]

Yeah thats pretty bad. You should get screened just in case

[LaurenM1997]

Is it bad? Are you serious of course it’s bad! He has a sexually transmitted disease! 🤦‍♀️

[LaurenM1997]

He needs to go to doctors asap

[Unknown-sakura]

Well in my personal opinion, it will be bad. Because what if you guys did "questionable stuff" with the needed things? You might get that disease too!

[Kimberly1979]

Yes opens himself up for attempting murder with a deadly weapon, and law suit for not telling you.

[Staximus]

Herpes is not a deadly weapon haha

[Drewtate]

Yes it's very bad. It's actually a crime.

[ApplePie409]

Delete Brad, and then I will reply.

[indianguy786]

He is wrong in that case

[RedInnocent69]

It’s not the worst, but yeah, it’s pretty bad.

[legalboxers]

I think you can sue him for that

[thisAppIsGarbage]

Yeah. He has herpes and you probably do to now.

[TeraGER]

Very

[jahaims]

Dump him

[Anonymous]

I think that you should get tested and dump him.

[mayurr]

What is herpes?

[Gabriel-Chicanito]

Sue'is a--!.