Why would someone have high standards in dating who isn’t exactly a catch themselves?

[Anonymous]

For instance they are overweight/ messy apartment, difficult to be around and doesn’t dress well

[Count_de_Monte_Volo]

Former “nice guy” here.

For me it was growing up and learning romance from tv that “it’s the inside that counts.” That explains why they themselves are low standard.

It’s hard to put into words the other part (why they seek high standard people without being high standard themselves). It’s what a lot of people want really.

It’s also hard to put into words how these two contradictions work side by side. It’s very much subconscious and it doesn’t last because it is so hypocritical. Sooner or later the “nice person” will lose patience and change.

[EpicSnail]

For me personally, it's hard to lower my standards, because I want to be with someone I'm attracted to, right? I know I suck as a dating material, but I don't see the point in being dishonest and dating a woman I'm not into, that will never last anyway.

[MzAsh]

Why should a woman lower her standards to be with you if you’re not willing to? (since you say, in your own words that you don’t measure up as dating material.)

[EpicSnail]

@MzAsh I haven't said a woman should lower her standards. But if you compare my standards and most women's standards, I think mine are way lower.

I don't care what you do for a living, I don't care where you live, I don't care what car you drive or if you even own one, I don't care whether you work out, I don't care how you dress, I don't care whether you can read my mind and say the exact right things to make me lower my guard.

Just be a bit subjectively cute. That's literally the only requirement.

[MzAsh]

What are your goals in dating?

[EpicSnail]

@MzAsh I don't date

[MzAsh]

Would you like to?

[EpicSnail]

@MzAsh Not really, I only associate it with pain

[desidoll]

Lol I know a lot of people like this. It is annoying when they keep complaining about being single, yet reject anyone who is not up to their unrealistic standards. It is ridiculous. I feel like they overestimate themselves and think too highly of who they are. Another reason is like one guy here said, they do it to keep away other people opinions on them, knowing they have nothing to offer.

[Spongebobssocks]

Two reasons:

1. They think they are worth more than they are.

2. They think someone will accept them evan tho they are worth much less

[Spongebobssocks]

Thankyou for MHO

[AMS700CX4u2]

Psychologically, The criticizer thinks by being critical he or she is placed in a position of superiority It briefly takes attention away from them. Politiciians do it all the time. Look here, look there, but don't look at me while I am stealing from you.

[desidoll]

This^ I know people like that. They have extremely high standards just to sort of “distracting” other people from seeing they are not even a catch themselves.

[Adam1978]

Men standards are low, all you need is good value and a fit body. Something most women can accomplish. Women standards are not something that is reasonable in most cases, and if they are obtainable the effort isn't worth the price. Besides who cares what standard people who you don't want have?

[shades777]

Men's standards are realistic and usually achievable by most women.
Like being petite, optimistic, submissive, things a person can easily change and with a few things she can't like height, age and if she has kids.

Now imagine if men decided for some bizarre reason that she also had to make $200k, be a virgin, under 5'4 and pay for everything because Prince treatment. You'd call that man insane. welll...

[HighValue]

You must be referring to the MAJORITY of women in the USA that feel insulted if they aren't rated a 10 and think they don't need to bring any value to a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Lol yeah, I always wondered why women need a man that’s 6’2”, has a career, has a house and is making over 100k a year, doing what he does, and yet women think they deserve a man like that, they they broke as shit, living from man to man, got a body count of well over 10, can’t contribute much to anything he does but her body and sexuality. But y’all still think you are a catch and deserve everything a good man has to offer. lol it’s the funniest joke I’ve seen.

[aoihewgf]

I got all that but the height, and living the free agent life 💪

[Zaniruma]

They are in delusion and have prince/princess syndrome. They overrated themselves higher than other people might rated. They compare their life with others and think they are also deserved that. Lastly, they are not beaten down by cruelty of real life yet but they would experienced it later.

[boggboss]

Because everyone is free to set there own standerds

[FilmGuy93]

Those sorts of people conflate their passed hookups with what they can lock down in relationships. It's just a different standard that you have to meet.

[inhua]

what would these high standards be? and are they achievable or not?

[strateguy632]

because they wanna be happy and need certain characteristics in a close friend

[LiamJHayden]

Not everyone is the same. The person that might not be a catch to you could be a catch for the person who meets those high standards.

[art84]

Maybe cause they have standards for dating and want the best and feel that they deserve the best nothing more or less.

[Francesca7]

I think self actualization is difficult more for some people than others. I'm working on that myself and it can be painful.

[Anonymous]

Attraction is subjective. Maybe someone likes it

[lottiebannotie]

False ideas of grandeur

[noohair]

Not everyone is good at everything.

[Slim57]

Years of attention seeking

[Anonymous]

Potentially.