Why did he approach me then rejected me?

[Anonymous]

This man and I have been friends and flirting for the past 10 months.

Two months ago he started behaving like my boyfriend. Kissed me, hugged me, made out with me... and etc.

Then he withdrawed and distanced for no reason other than telling me "I'm busy and stressed at work, focus on your tasks too" ...

Previously has expressed the desire to go out somewhere (didn't invite me through and told me multiple times that women should take the initiative too) , but now when I actually invited him, he firstly said "yes" then "I don't know" and yesterday he told me that he is not in the mood to relax, travel and party, but it doesn't have anything to do with being with me. My invitation was planned as a trip.

I'm upset, because he was the one who made the first move, the one who has been always saying "we should go here and there", so I thought he was waiting me to make the next move.

[Anonymous]

i have to say because i see this a lot, often time guys show interest and the girls don't show as much interest back even tho the girl is interested. it's hard to see if you're also returning the interest when he's showing it so much. so he probably thought you didn't want anymore than that... just a thought. orrr he found someone else.

[Asker]

So you are saying that he is stepping aside because he thought that im not into him... or the only other option is that he has found someone else.

[Opinion Owner]

either of those. i don't know him personally or see inside his head

[MementoMori777]

He just said you weren't the problem out of the blue, unless you've blamed you being the problem before I don't see why he would say that out of the blue, reverse psychology? 🤔

[Asker]

I asked him for an explanation... because at first he said "yes"... then "I will think about it"... and 4 days before the trip, he finally told me this. I think I deserve to know the reason.

[MementoMori777]

You do but him saying it seems like you are the problem cause normally wouldn't someone say they aren't in the mood to do all that, the fact that he felt the need to mention that you weren't the problem seems somewhat unnecessary no?

[MementoMori777]

aren't*

[Asker]

I actually asked him to tell me "if you don't want to go with me, just tell me".

[MementoMori777]

Then his response is normal and logical, maybe he's just not motivated to do these things now

[Asker]

Do you think that I should give up on him or wait?

[MementoMori777]

Wait a while, you can even try fixing things or putting in some effort to try and fix it, if not then you'll have no choice but to let go but I hope it works out

[Asker]

What do you mean by "fixing things"... I don't think I destroyed or damaged anything and even if I did, he didn't tell me what's the problem. I don't know what to fix and how to fix it.

[MementoMori777]

Damn I gave the wrong advice to the wrong anon oh naaww 🤦‍♂️

I'm sorry anon that was meant for another anon, for your situation I'd say that since you aren't getting much effort back from him it's best to reflect the same amount of effort to save you from exhaustion, so if he barely puts effort, you barely put effort unless you are fine trying to pull a better outcome out of him which I wouldn't recommend cause if he is just bust you'll make things worse by pressuring him with other stuff, so perhaps patience is the best answer for this

[MementoMori777]

Busy*

[Asker]

Thank you, let's see what happens.

[MementoMori777]

Indeed, I wish you the best outcomes 💯

[In_Trance]

He thought there might be something there, but then found out there wasn't

[Asker]

What do you mean?

[Cheerfull009]

He might have found other girl better than you