Why a guy who was casually dating me, after the what are we talk (he dumped me) stopped using the dating app we had met on?

[Anonymous]

We had the define relationship talk (I initiated it, wanted to be exclusive) around 2 weeks ago and he said he's not read for anything serious (a few months ago he had ended his long-term relationship). During our casual dating period (2-3 months) he was actively checking the app (I could tell that from his whereabouts based on geolocation). After our talk he's not longer using the app (again I'm basing my assumption on geolocation), but he also hasn't contacted me since the talk. How should I interpret his behaviour?

[shades777]

how would you know if he was using a dating app after he dumped you, also why so you even care?

[BarryLiverstone]

He got another account

[Asker]

Why do you think so? The account he's been using is not deleted, it's still there, he just seems not using it as frequently as before. Besides, I'm still (or even more) active on that platform, so I think I would saw him on the dating app...

[BarryLiverstone]

Because he wants to use the platform and not have you see him use it.

[Asker]

That could make sense... but if he didn't care me seeing him using the app when we were casually dating, why would he care now what I'm thinking about him using it? He didn't want to become exclusive, so he can do whatever he likes now (dating other girls or doing hook-ups) without my consent or caring about my opinion. It just doesn't make sense to me.

[BarryLiverstone]

Because guys worry that girls are not honest with their feelings. Like you can tell him that you don’t feel an emotional connection to him after casually dating but he doesn’t trust you.

If you are no longer seeing him then wouldn’t you not care what he does?

[Asker]

Yeah, but during the talk I was the more emotionally vulnerable one, as it was me who put myself out there and let my feelings towards him known. He learned that I wanted to move things to the next level. He didn't agree with my course of action.

Actually, I have two hypotheses:
1) he moved to another app (from hinge to tinder) facilitating "easier" dating
2) he came to the realization he's really not ready for any romantic relationship and decided to take a break/not mislead other girls about his intentions

Thoughts?

[BarryLiverstone]

I have thoughts but this Isn’t an easy answer. I don’t think it’s #2, as why would he conclude that?

[BarryLiverstone]

Go ahead and follow me so I can get the whole story.

[Asker]

I think a mature, decent person could possibly reach such a conclusion... but then again men are men. They put their needs first. Unless healing or focusing on his job is his priority, I don't think a guy would be willing to not play with feelings of other girls just out of decency...

[BarryLiverstone]

We are on the same page. Nothing sounded like it’s forcing him to get off the dating apps and while yes a job is a priority had he all of a sudden matured in the span of a few months he should have been willing to work with you in a more committed relationship. That’s why I’m curious what happened as he wanted you and then didn’t