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From my experience, there seems to be way more people who would date someone 10+ years older than people who end up marrying spouses 10+ years older. Vast majority of these large age gap relationships never tend reach marriage. Why? I've met so many people who dated someone significantly older but only to end up marrying someone around their own age
Because mutual respect is crucial for a successful relationship. When and age gap gets too big it's harder for people to be like minded. Not everyone arrives at the same point in life at the same time. But sometimes people erroneously think because they have a couple things in common with someone of a big age gap that they are like minded people and they're not, something that is proven over time.
While people with large age gaps CAN find longterm happiness together it certainly isn't the norm. Any age gap LARGER than 9 years. And the LONGTERM success rate falls off dramatically.
I always say I open to age differences larger than 10 years. But I'm not looking for age gaps larger than 10 years.
Because with age comes experience.
Opinion
2Opinion
outside influence is always trying to break these relationships apart to the point the people in these relationships begin to believe in the bullshit from outsiders
Florence Pugh even admitted her separation from Zach Braff (a man 21 years older) was due to idiot online trolls who couldn't keep their mouth shut constantly accusing him of being a predator and accusing her of being a victim
at some point, human beings have a breaking point and being socially hated and ostracized has a toll on individuals
could it be because both parties fail to have enough in common due to huge differences in maturity and life experience?
some common interests and hobbies can translate across ages, they are not limited to certain generations. older people aren't the only ones who enjoy classical music, theatre, outdoor activities. young people aren't the only ones who enjoy rock music concerts, movies, video games etc.
being mature just requires one to be willing to take responsibility and not let their emotions get in the way of rational thought plus show a baseline level of respect. nothing too difficult
no 2 human beings are going to have the same experiences. 2 people are different ethnicities, cultures, jobs, upbringing can still learn to understand, empathize with one another, putting aside differences and come together. age won't stop this
don't you think differences in maturity can affect two people from seeing "eye to eye" on a certain things?
you're not even acknowledging what I said at all. It sounds like you're in denial about something.
I'm acknowledging what you're saying. I simply don't agree with all of it. age gap relationships exist outside the west too and are doing perfectly fine. it's only in the west where people can't seem to shut up about other people's relationships and doing everything in their power to poison them just so they can justify why those relationships don't work whilst pretending they weren't catalysts at all in the relationship breakdown
I"m sure that much more goes into it than just other people gossiping. you need to realize that large age gaps also come with significant mental differences which impact two individuals from seeing "eye to eye " on many things.
that only occurs when both parties are brought up under different values. as long as there's respect on both sides the problems can be resolved. it's only when disrespect happens that relationships tend to break down i. e. a husband constantly going to the strip club or a wife posting lewd pics of herself on social media. when both parties respect each other, they don't engage in any of this behavior
you underestimate the power of outside influence which has on our daily lives. people don't always do what they want or feel best but what society believes they should do. most people have been conditioned to live a certain way and follow certain rules thus any differences that deviates from the norm will be met with some degree of hostility
@inhua
Different generations have different values. Not all generations are raised the same way. Your maturity level or life experience can also influence your values. What you found funny at 20, you might not still find funny at 45.
over-exposure doesn't necessarily change original intent. sure the first Avengers movie doesn't seem so great anymore or the hype surrounding Michael Jordan as a basketball player makes no sense today but at the time the first Avengers was a great movie and Michael Jordan was the most amazing basketball player
even then certain values can and should translate regardless of age or generations. basic values like respect aren't limited to older generations and no 2 people have the same life experience even if they are of the same age e. g. a 30 year old soldier will have different life experiences to a 30 year old actress
@inhua
maybe you were irresponsible at 21 but you're suddenly responsible at 41. Maybe you loved fart jokes when you were 18, but you don't find them funny anymore at 38. Maybe you loved being a player at 25 but you matured and realized you aren't proud of that behavior by the time you're 40. People change throughout life. Values also might change.
@inhua
rare exceptions do not make the rule.
there is a reason why relationships with large age gaps don't work. and it has LITTLE to do with other people's gossip. It has more to do with the DIFFERENCES between the couple.
that's a western phenomenon. only in the west do we make a big deal about certain relationships and age gap relationships not working out doesn't mean much when 50-60% of all marriages end in divorce anyway, lesbian divorces being the highest of them
interracial relationships between black men and white women also don't work out as well as interracial relationships between white men and Asian women. the former receives more gossip despite less differences and the latter receives less gossip despite more differences
@inhua
[that's a western phenomenon. only in the west do we make a big deal about certain relationships and age gap relationships not working out doesn't mean much when 50-60% of all marriages end in divorce anyway, lesbian divorces being the highest of them]
westerners have a higher standard when it comes to marriages and love. In other countries, teenage girls are bought and sold as brides to husbands that they don't love. In other countries, women are stuck in stale marriages where they are married because they HAVE TO rather than because they want to.
In america, marriage is about LOVE, RESPECT, QUALITY of experience. People in america marry because they WANT TO rather than they have to.
[interracial relationships between black men and white women also don't work out as well as interracial relationships between white men and Asian women. the former receives more gossip despite less differences and the latter receives less gossip despite more differences]
marriages between blacks and whites don't work out as much because their cultures are extremely different. white men and Asian women couples tend to work out more because their cultures tend to have similar values.
if you take a look at ivy league colleges and medical schools and professionals at top firms, they are almost ALL WHITE AND Asians.
westerners have higher standards? Christians perhaps? but everybody else? absolutely not
very prejudice of you to assume marriages in other countries aren't based on love and that only women have it bad.
love, respect and quality can overcome superficial factors like height, ethnicity, age etc. if relationships are breaking down, it's because they don't have these ingredients not because the husband likes to listen to opera and wife likes cosplay
blacks and whites are much closer in culture and values than whites and Asians. Asians are family-orientated, education driven, conservative, respect for elders etc. blacks and whites are all about fun, partying, promiscuity, drugs, tattoos, progressive politics, rap music, sports, celebrities etc.
@inhua
[blacks and whites are much closer in culture and values than whites and Asians. Asians are family-orientated, education driven, conservative, respect for elders etc. blacks and whites are all about fun, partying, promiscuity, drugs, tattoos, progressive politics, rap music, sports, celebrities etc.]
whites have very little in common with blacks. black people are ghetto and commit crime do drugs. white people are all CEOs, lawyers, professionals, attend ivy league colleges, work alongside Asians as doctors and physicians. Take a look at all the prestigious companies, vast majority of the workers are either white or Asian. Very few blacks.
why do you think this is? becasue whites and Asians are an educated successful population with the same values.
[and if you take a look at Hollywood, pro-sports and politics, they are almost all black and white. where are the Asians?]
Asians will never ever be able to get into hollywood due to racist discrimination. Hollywood has traditionally always mocked Asians. As a result, talented Asians find performing on youtube as their outlet. The first youtubers were actually largely Asian.
@inhua
[love, respect and quality can overcome superficial factors like height, ethnicity, age etc. if relationships are breaking down, it's because they don't have these ingredients not because the husband likes to listen to opera and wife likes cosplay]
thats quite funny because you mention this because earlier you mentioned that its not important for 2 people to have the same values.
if you have an 18 yr old dating a 45 yr old. then definitely the 18 yr old would be more into cosplay while the 45 yr old would be obsessing over opera. I don't think there are a lot of 45 yr olds into cosplay or many 18 yr olds into opera. Maybe this is why large age gap relationships don't work out.
when people come together, it's due to common interests and values. what you're referring to are people who have no common interests or values to begin with
perhaps the 18 year old and 45 year old both enjoy horse riding and martial arts even if their other hobbies are different. even then hobbies aren't what make or break a relationship. it's treating each other with love and respect
@inhua
[when people come together, it's due to common interests and values. what you're referring to are people who have no common interests or values to begin with]
sweetie, peoples interests and hobbies change throughout life. every single guy loves playing video games in their teens and 20s. but this gradually fades as a man matures. the cosplay fan population is largely young people in their teens to 30. Very rarely would you find a 40+ yr old at a cosplay event.
[perhaps the 18 year old and 45 year old both enjoy horse riding and martial arts even if their other hobbies are different. even then hobbies aren't what make or break a relationship. it's treating each other with love and respect]
what about significant differences in maturity? what about life experience? it seems like you're in denial that these factors will cause major disruptions between a couple. Stage of life could also be a factor. an 18 yr old would have no intentions of settling down. while a 45 yr old would want to get married.
you're never going to find 2 people with the same life experiences. as I've said before a 30 year old soldier will have a different life experience to a 30 year old actress
maturity just boils down to respect and responsibility. no one's going to make a big fuss about a woman playing with plush toys or a man playing video games. an argument can be made that plush toys and videos are more childish than adult activities like posting lewd pics online or going to the strip club but only two of these activities is more disrespectful than the others
@inhua
[you're never going to find 2 people with the same life experiences. as I've said before a 30 year old soldier will have a different life experience to a 30 year old actress]
but two people who are around the same age tend to have similar maturity levels and knowledge about life than a couple with a gap of 20 years apart.
[maturity just boils down to respect and responsibility. ]
maturity has nothing to do with respect and responsibility. just because you are respectful, it doesn't mean you are mature. Just because you pay your own bills, it doesn't mean you are mature. Maturity is a train of thought.
@inhua
[not everybody follows the same journey path. some men choose to marry at 20. some women choose to marry at 40.]
most 20 yr olds have no interest in marrying. most 40 yr olds are interested in marriage.
I don't know why you're always looking for rare exceptions
similar maturity levels are not the measure of a successful relationship. both the same age partners can be immature and the relationship would still fall apart. and age and nothing to do with maturity. it is only an expectation we believe that people will eventually become more mature and older people have more time to do so. Madonna is nearly 3x older than Jenna Ortega and yet Jenna the far more mature than Madonna is
the hallmark of being mature is being an adult thus showing respect and taking up responsibilities. people are either mature or they are not. there's not some massive gap in maturity between mature individuals. there are 60 year old men who still engage drinking alcohol and watching football as much as 20 year old men
@inhua
yea... if you're 18 years old, you don't know anything about the real world... so how are you going to relate to someone who is 45 and knows absolutely everything? the 18 yr old would have nothing to add to conversations. the 45 yr old would be TEACHING everything to the 18 yr old because they don't know anything.
how would this work out in a relationship?
18 yr olds are into fart jokes... immature jokes. how many 45 yr olds are into these types of jokes?
a 40 yr old is thinking about marriage and having children... an 18 yr old wants to date around, enjoy all their youth...
you can't deny these things...
it seems like you have some type of bias for large age gaps. you're completely in denial that there are major differences between people of significantly different ages.
you're right. they are rare exceptions
most 20 year old men lack the finances to support a family and most 40 year old women lack the fertility to produce offspring. the reverse is not true however
even then like all other relationships that break down, outside influences play a huge role. how well do you think a marriage would last if the parents disprove of a pairing due to religion and culture? or how about a marriage where the husband hangs out with fuckboys or the wife hangs out with single feminists?
outsiders can usually see things in a relationship that those within the relationship can't see but they can also mislead those within the relationship such as the husband's male friends telling him that his wife is cheating on him or the wife's female friends telling her that her husband is abusive for not letting her dress slutty and go to a party full of drunk horny men
@inhua
[most 20 year old men lack the finances to support a family and most 40 year old women lack the fertility to produce offspring. the reverse is not true however]
it still doesn't justify a 40 yr old going for a 20 yr old. there are plenty of women in their 30s who can give birth. you really don't need to be 20 years old to be able to have children. Vast majority of 20 yr olds aren't even interested in having children. they're busy with college and having fun with friends, getting their careers established.
[even then like all other relationships that break down, outside influences play a huge role. how well do you think a marriage would last if the parents disprove of a pairing due to religion and culture? or how about a marriage where the husband hangs out with fuckboys or the wife hangs out with single feminists?]
its been proven that the more differences a couple has... the higher the divorce rate. Studies have proven that couples with large age gaps tend to divorce more than couples closer in age. Interracial marriages also tend to have higher divorce rates than same race marriages. Marriages where couples are unequal in terms of education also tend to have higher divorce rates. It has NOTHING to do with what people say. It has entirely to do with DIFFERENCES.
its just that young girls are extremely fetishized in our society. A lot of old perverted men would date a girl that he has absolutely nothing in common with just so that he can have some good sex. A lot of these young girls are often manipulated and lied to.
I never said there aren't differences between people of different ages. I'm saying these differences can be overcome and the breakdown of relationships are not due to such factors unless the partners are both shallow and superficial
for starters, men and women are already different so the life experiences are going to be different regardless of age. you don't need to be of a certain age to show respect and take on responsibilities nor do you have to share the same skin color, upbringing or time spend on Earth
@inhua
how do you overcome a lack of maturity?
how do you overcome trying to relate to someone who knows absolutely nothing?
these aren't things you can easily just overcome...
again, it just sounds like you have a bias for large age gaps. you probably really want one yourself.
most people go into relationships for the wrong reasons anyway. women chasing after hot fuckboys and men chasing after Instagram models. age gap is least of the worries when people are going after others due to looks, money, status etc.
women in their 30s struggle to give birth. many begin to consider going to a sperm donor. when the lifestyles match, people are going to come together otherwise they don't. if a 20 year old doesn't want kids yet, what makes you think she'll go after a man who does regardless of age? likewise for a 40 year old who doesn't want kids
it's also proven that the more people emphasize differences, the likelihood divorce happens. how well do you think a relationship between a white man and black woman would survive if all they ever did is talk about the differences in their skin color? not very long would you say?
when people are too caught up in differences and constant comparisons rather than acceptance, then these differences end up breaking down the relationship which is why high body count women are unreliable partners because of their constant need to compare dick sizes of their boyfriends
this is why modern marriages are in a mess. people being unsure of their roles or whether they want roles to exist or not. feminists insisting men be traditional men while trying to say there are no differences between men and women and she's equal to him yet highlighting the differences etc.
@inhua
[most people go into relationships for the wrong reasons anyway. women chasing after hot fuckboys and men chasing after Instagram models. age gap is least of the worries when people are going after others due to looks, money, status etc.]
why are you complaining about women going into relationships for the wrong reasons if you're clearly doing the same thing? dating women you can't relate to, just so you can have some hot sex?
[women in their 30s struggle to give birth. many begin to consider going to a sperm donor. when the lifestyles match, people are going to come together otherwise they don't. if a 20 year old doesn't want kids yet, what makes you think she'll go after a man who does regardless of age? likewise for a 40 year old who doesn't want kids]
most women who give birth nowadays are actually in their 30s. Most 20 yr olds don't want to have children. Most 40 yr olds are looking to get married and have children.
and why would a 20 yr old want to go for an old unattractive aging man when she can go get a hot handsome young guy in his 20s or 30s?
just the same way you look for all sorts of excuses to date kids you have absolutely nothing in common with.
@inhua
[it's also proven that the more people emphasize differences, the likelihood divorce happens. how well do you think a relationship between a white man and black woman would survive if all they ever did is talk about the differences in their skin color? not very long would you say?]
It doesn't matter if you emphasize differences or not. If big differences exist, you will find yourself DIVORCING. Emphasizing on it doesn't matter.
[when people are too caught up in differences and constant comparisons rather than acceptance, then these differences end up breaking down the relationship]
when you ignore differences, thats why you end up divorcing. Its been proven that couples who ignore differences and marry regardless- tend to have higher divorce rates
a lot of young perverted men would do the same. men have historically and evolutionary been hardwired to be attracted to certain demographics of women from a historical standpoint regardless of age. school boys are attracted to young women. young men are attracted to young women. older men are attracted to young women.
fact of the matter is, humans aren't even suppose to live past the age of 30 and it's only due to medical advancements that some of us can live past 100 years old. attraction is biological. not political. women can't help being attracted to height, money, muscles etc. and men being attracted to fertility, friendliness, good health etc.
and the only manipulation going on is self-manipulation and women are experts at manipulation tactics including themselves. even excluding the age gap, women will convince themselves that bad boys are hot and that a bad boy like Ted Bundy, Jeremy Meeks and Cameron Herrin are really just innocent and misunderstood. they will convince themselves that Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey is romantic. school girls will have no shame in blackmailing their male teachers for better grades, OF models telling her army of simps to harass a guy who unsubscribes from her, Amber Heard using crocodile tears in court to defame Johnny Depp, the list goes on.
no I don't agree with lying and manipulation but that's not a relationship to begin with much less a marriage
@inhua
[a lot of young perverted men would do the same. men have historically and evolutionary been hardwired to be attracted to certain demographics of women from a historical]
its ok for young men to date young women because it is more realistic that they would fall in love than some random old 45 yr old guy trying to date kids that he has nothing in common with.
young men have a lot in common with young women around their age. this is why people tend to befriend those around their own age. people simply do not have much in common with those that are significantly older.
A man who doesn't care about the fact that he is UNABLE to relate to his much younger girlfriend, doesn't care if his girlfriend knows anything or contributes anything to the conversation - is not a guy who is looking for love.
he is just looking for a hot body to fuck... and once she loses her looks. she will be onto the next 18 yr old girl. these men are NOT RESPECTABLE.
this is why society looks down on you... they know you're not looking for love.
@inhua
[no I don't agree with lying and manipulation but that's not a relationship to begin with much less a marriage]
manipulating is actually a very big tactic old sexual predators use on young women. they lie to young women that they love her- just so that he can get sex.
Young women also don't tend to be interested in significantly older men. Vast majority of them date and marry men less than 10 years older. Most of them don't find old guys attractive.
not true at all. interracial marriages between conservative black men and conservative white women do better than their liberal counterparts because there's none of this woke agenda BS of constantly bringing up skin color and gender. Morgan Freeman is right about one thing though. the best way to combat racism is to stop bringing it up
no divorces have happened in my extended family despite the age gaps because nobody talks about it. people who love each other do not put importance on such trivial matters like a man being old enough to have seen Empire Strikes Back in the movie theatres and a woman only seeing Empire Strikes Back on TV
it's one thing to ignore differences like someone who is abusive or lazy or is a criminal but trivial, superficial and shallow factors like age, ethnicity, height, money etc. is not the basis of a relationship and modern marriages are failing because both parties are focusing on this instead
@inhua
["how do you overcome a lack of maturity? how do you overcome trying to relate to someone who knows absolutely nothing? these aren't things you can easily just overcome..."
easy. don't be with that person to begin with]
thats quite funny because throughout this entire time... you were obsessing over dating kids who know nothing.
@inhua
When a couple has a one-year age difference, they have just a 3% likelihood of divorce. A five-year age gap means the couple is 18% more likely to divorce. That rises to 39% for a 10-year age difference. When the couple has a 20-year age gap, the likelihood of divorce rises to 95%.
www.unhappymarriage.info/.../
@inhua
Heterosexual couples with large age gaps had a faster decline in relationship satisfaction in their first 6 to 10 years of marriage than similarly aged couples. Couples with an age gap of 1 to 3 years (with the man older than the woman) were the most common and had the greatest levels of satisfaction
psychcentral.com/.../age-difference-in-relationships
@inhua
Cross-culturally, women report wanting partners who are (on average) 3.5 years older than them.
www.psychologytoday.com/.../what-we-know-about-age-gaps-in-dating-love-and-marriage
more realistic that young men would fall in love? that's funny because young men have been accused by young women of being too horny, dumb, immature, having no job, being reckless with their lives, watching too much porn, only caring about video games etc.
apparently according to you, men become less respectful and empathetic as they get older. funny that sounds backwards to being mature. then a "immature" older man should be perfect for an "immature" younger woman and leave the "mature" younger man for the "mature" older woman
if a man is willing to marry a younger woman, he is looking for love. if a man just wanted sex he'll just hookup and not bother with relationships
how is that complaining? I don't care what reasons a woman goes into a relationship for. but the wrong reasons are why these relationships break down. if the reason why you go into a relationship is due to age, ethnicity, looks, height, money etc. no shit Sherlock the relationship won't last but if you go into a relationship for morals, ethics, values and the other person happens to be of a certain age or skin color, then the relationship will last
why does it matter to you who a 20 year old chooses to date? if she wants to a 20 year old, 30 year old or 40 year old, that's up to her
handsome men are a rarity regardless of age. only a tiny minority of young men look like High School Musicals Zac Efron. the rest look like Michael Cera whom most women wouldn't even look his way. similar to how only a small percentage of men in their 30's look like Chris Hemsworth even though Chris is near his 40s and still looking just as handsome as he first starred in Thor 2011
@inhua
[apparently according to you, men become less respectful and empathetic as they get older. funny that sounds backwards to being mature. then a "immature" older man should be perfect for an "immature" younger woman and leave the "mature" younger man for the "mature" older woman]
because young men and young women have similar sense of maturity, similar sense of humor, similar perspective on life, smilar energy levels, are in similar stages of life. they're not a situation where she is 20 and doesn't want marriage / start a family while he is 40 and is looking for a wife and a family.
when he is 32 and she is 30 years old, they are likely both looking for the same things.
if a man is willing to marry a younger woman, he is looking for love. if a man just wanted sex he'll just hookup and not bother with relationships
the problem is not that a man is going for a younger woman. the problem is that dirty old guys are going for kids ( who they have absolutely nothing in common with ) for the WRONG REASONS.
men have always gone for younger women. but it depends on HOW MUCH younger.
younger than your own daughter? now... thats fishy...
your'e complaining about society talking shit about you...
because they know you're chasing after young girls for the wrong reasons.
they know you're not looking for love.
they know a 45 yr old has nothing in common with a 20 yr old.
"When a couple has a one-year age difference, they have just a 3% likelihood of divorce. A five-year age gap means the couple is 18% more likely to divorce. That rises to 39% for a 10-year age difference. When the couple has a 20-year age gap, the likelihood of divorce rises to 95%."
that wasn't the question you asked. you wanted to know why these relationships rarely work out and I explained. there's no point in regurgitating statistics I already know
@inhua
[no need to spread bullshit lies. the only person here who is obsessed is you. I already explained the need for some common interests but apparently that skipped over your head]
what would a 45 yr old man have in common with an 18 yr old who knows nothing about life?
a few hobbies won't' sustain a romantic relationship. you need more than hobbies. two people need to be able to relate to each other and see "eye to eye" on certain things.
@inhua
[that wasn't the question you asked. you wanted to know why these relationships rarely work out and I explained. there's no point in regurgitating statistics I already know]
These marriages also tend to be less happy over time. Its not only higher divorce rates
18 year old people are not kids. they are old enough to drive, old enough to enter clubs, bars, drink alcohol, get tattoos and piercings, undergo transgender surgery, old enough to vote in elections that shape the future of the country, apply for a job, go to college, buy their own property, sign up for the military, post pics of themselves online, date WHOEVER they wish to date etc.
why does it matter to you what the reasons for certain men dating certain women are? if the two mutually agree, it's nobody's business. and she's well within her right to change her priorities if she chooses and if her priorities align with his priorities then good for them
considering that women (and men by default) according to you, are having kids in their 30s, then you should have no issue with a 20 year age gap because a parent is nowadays no longer 20 years older than their eldest offspring, rather they are 30 years older
I'm nowhere near my 40s and I don't care about people talking shit
this started out as an answer to a question you already had an answer to that wasn't going to be changed and is now dissolving into a slandering contest because you can't respectfully disagree
I'm pointing out the hypocrisy and double standards of certain relationships being allowed and others are not. feminists claiming women should have a choice yet they don't like them having certain choices and of course, trying to control men as usual with shame tactics
@inhua
[why does it matter to you what the reasons for certain men dating certain women are? if the two mutually agree, it's nobody's business. and she's well within her right to change her priorities if she chooses and if her priorities align with his priorities then good for them]
legal means nothing. an 18 yr old can marry a 95 yr old. it doesn't mean its the right decision.
I care because there are a lot of perverts and sexual predators trying to date young women for the WRONG REASONS. Dating someone that you are not in love with or that you cannot relate to is wrong. Marrying someone just because of their looks is wrong. Marriage should ultimately be about love. You can't love someone that you struggle to connect with.
and clearly throughout this conversation, love, connection, ability to relate, dating someone you find interesting are the LEAST of your concerns.
[I'm pointing out the hypocrisy and double standards of certain relationships being allowed and others are not.]
you're a hypocrite for accusing women for entering relationships for the wrong reasons meanwhile you also want to enter relationships for the wrong reasons.
Saying you only want to date 18 yr old girls is like a woman saying... I only want to date a handsome tall guy who makes at least a million dollars a year. It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English or if he is 100 years old.
it shows you don't have decent values. Love and connection means nothing to you.
on who's authority is it to decide whether it's the right decision or not?
the only objective right and wrong exists in Math and Science. every other right or wrong is just a subjective appeal to emotion.
dating for "wrong" reasons is not limited to just age gaps. anyone can date for "wrong" reasons including same gap partners who settle because they have no other options. and it's very prejudiced of you to assume you know what goes on in age gap relationships and why some of them break down even though most marriages and relationships don't last the distance anyway regardless of age difference
but as long as there's people like you constantly bashing such relationships, calling the younger woman dumb and stupid for being "manipulated" and calling the older man a "predator" or "manipulator" it's no wonder why they don't statistically last that long
and nope, I never accused women of anything here unlike you accusing men of being perverts and predators and shaming them for their biological instincts
who said anything about dating 18 year old girls only? this might come as a shocker to you but people aren't walking around with their age plastered on their foreheads
you keep harping on about the importance of love but clearly you put more emphasis on age than love so sure, I'm obviously the one who doesn't have decent values
@inhua
[but as long as there's people like you constantly bashing such relationships, calling the younger woman dumb and stupid for being "manipulated" and calling the older man a "predator" or "manipulator" it's no wonder why they don't statistically last that long]
of course you are a predator or a manipulator. because throughout this entire discussion, you DO NOT CARE if you can relate to her. you do not care if she is mature enough for you. you do not care if she has anything to contribute to the conversation. you do not care if she knows completely nothing like a child. You do not care if she isn't interesting to talk to.
As long as she has a hot body then that's all that you care about... This is NOT LOVE. This is just a relationship of sexual transaction DISGUISED as a romantic relationship.
Of course you will tell her that you love her. BUT EVERYONE CAN TELL YOU DO NOT.
this is why you're a manipulator and a pervert. Young girls at that age are very naive and have completely no life experience. They would believe you until they grow old enough to realize that you don't.
Someone who values sex/ looks over a genuine human connection is not a decent person and has the values in the wrong place.
[and nope, I never accused women of anything here unlike you accusing men of being perverts and predators and shaming them for their biological instincts]
just because you would sleep with a kid, it doesn't mean you would marry a kid. Just because you find a 16 yr old sexy, it doesn't mean you would marry a 16 yr old. This show you don't have love or human connection. You would marry absolutely anyone you can fuck.
@inhua
[you keep harping on about the importance of love but clearly you put more emphasis on age than love so sure, I'm obviously the one who doesn't have decent values]
how do you love someone that you can't relate to? how do you fall in love with someone who can't understand you? how do you love someone who has nothing to contribute to the conversation?
you're not looking to fall in love with someone. you're just looking to fall in love with someone's pussy.
and trust me... as soon as she turns 40, you will be onto your next 18 yr old.
[you keep harping on about the importance of love but clearly you put more emphasis on age than love so sure, I'm obviously the one who doesn't have decent values]
AGE DOES HAVE A HUGE IMPACT ON LOVE...
you just don't like to admit it.
I'm 24 and I will never ever date an guy who says he only dates women of a certain age especially if he is in his 40-60s. It shows he is extremely shallow, has the wrong priorities and likely will not stay faithful to me once I get older.
@inhua
[age is only a huge impact because you make it out to be a huge impact like these men you accuse of making age a huge impact.]
there are studies that prove large age gap marriages have higher chances of divorce, lower marital satisfaction. Plus, there is A REASON why most couples have small age gaps (less than 10 years) because they get along better.
you are just IN DENIAL about these facts because you're a pervert whose goal is NOT LOVE, but just some young sexy pussy.
[you best keep that same energy for women who refuse to date men under 6 feet tall, men who don't earn 6 figures, men who don't have hair, men who don't have 6 pack abs etc.]
quite funny how you accuse women of marrying men for the WRONG REASONS. while you obsess over dating kids you have absolutely nothing in common with, cannot relate to, and also do not love just cuz she's hotter.
what if I told you that I wouldn't date you because you're not at least 6 feet and don't make a million dollars a year?
[nobody is forcing you to date anyone you don't want to date]
im not forcing you to date whomever you don't want to date either. I don't give a shit who you date or try to use predatory tactics to get sex from... but I'm just telling you why society LOOKS DOWN on people like you. People with the wrong values in life who value materialistic things or sex over a precious human connection.
large age gaps are a small percentage of all marriages to begin with and 50-60% of all marriages end in divorce anyways. and marriage satisfaction would be lower when there's people like you constantly chirping in their ears about her being stupid and him being a predator
I don't care what the reasons are for women marrying men because attraction is always going to be the key to their loyalty. women don't follow the same code of honor that men do. wedding vows were written to hold men accountable and remain loyal to their wives.
if you won't date a man who's not 6 feet tall or makes 7 figures a year, then it's because you don't want short kids who struggle with finding good food on the table and a good head-start in life
society looking down on men is nothing new. it doesn't matter what choices they make or what their preferences are, there's always something negative that can be attributed to men's activities. and these so-called "predatory" tactics don't exist and are just in your imagination
@inhua
[large age gaps are a small percentage of all marriages to begin with and 50-60% of all marriages end in divorce anyways. and marriage satisfaction would be lower when there's people like you constantly chirping in their ears about her being stupid and him being a predator]
of course, large age gap marriages have lower satisfaction and higher divorce rates.
who the hell can be happy being married to a senior citizen by the time she hits 45? nobody finds grandpas sexy.
@inhua
[society looking down on men is nothing new. it doesn't matter what choices they make or what their preferences are, there's always something negative that can be attributed to men's activities. and these so-called "predatory" tactics don't exist and are just in your imagination]
its not only perverts like you that get looked down upon...
so do gold diggers...
both of y'all don't get any respect from society because you just aren't decent people.
@inhua
if our current marriages have a divorce rate of 50-60%, then large age gaps would even have a HIGHER DIVORCE RATE.
Just imagine being full of energy, still having sex , riding motorcycles, going on adventures at 45 years old being stuck married to a senior citizen who needs to be taken to the doctor , and reminded to take all his medications, can't last in bed.
there you go... thats why divorce rates are so much higher in large age gap marriages.
@inhua
[someone's happiness is not up to you to decide. it's up to them. they don't need you or my permission for their happiness]
thats because you're only talking about your own happiness.
I'm talking about her dissatisfaction, not your satisfaction.
["pervert" is just a term used for unattractive men going for women "out of their league"]
pervert is when a man sees "marriage" as a sexual exchange under a DISGUISE of a romantic relationship- just so he can be accepted by society.
[ if our current marriages have a divorce rate of 50-60%, then large age gaps would even have a HIGHER DIVORCE RATE. ]
that's not how Math works. age gap marriages are being covered within all marriages. it's not a translation of patterns
[ Just imagine being full of energy, still having sex , riding motorcycles, going on adventures at 45 years old being stuck married to a senior citizen who needs to be taken to the doctor , and reminded to take all his medications, can't last in bed. ]
most women don't go on adventures at 45 years old nor do they ride motorcycles (not even single women do, much less mothers who have kids to take care of) they certainly aren't full of energy and are looking to settle.
women aren't biologically built like men. as long as he is constantly challenged he doesn't lose energy like women do otherwise he wouldn't be able to reproduce any offspring and the fact there are men who are fathers to newborns at ages 70+ shows he can still last (and this would be with women at the very least 30 years younger than him)
if a woman's unhappiness is due to something outside of the man's control i. e. height, age, skin color then that's not his fault because he can't control it. it's different if it were because he's being abusive but you seem to be targeting superficial factors like age instead of more important factors like personality
women are the ones overwhelmingly filing for divorce, 80% actually and much higher in lesbian divorces. they are the ones who see marriage as a sexual change for protection and resources and divorce is a way they can get more of it
@inhua
[that's not how Math works. age gap marriages are being covered within all marriages. it's not a translation of patterns]
vast majority of marriages are small age gaps. if 50% divorce rate is for marriages where large age gap marriages are uncommon. Then the divorce rate will ONLY BE HIGHER in marriages where large age gaps are common.
[most women don't go on adventures at 45 years old nor do they ride motorcycles (not even single women do, much less mothers who have kids to take care of) they certainly aren't full of energy and are looking to settle. women aren't biologically built like men. as long as he is constantly challenged he doesn't lose energy like women do otherwise he wouldn't be able to reproduce any offspring and the fact there are men who are fathers to newborns at ages 70+ shows he can still last (and this would be with women at the very least 30 years younger than him)]
just because you are in denial about these things, it doesn't make it false. young women will always have more energy than old men regardless of how they are built. Science proves that people do lose energy and mobility with age. Its not something you can argue with simply because you don't like it.
keep dreaming hun, how many 30 yr olds are having kids with 70 yr olds? maybe less than 2% of the population. And even if it does happen, its usually because she's a gold digger. Nobody is attracted to old grandpas.
[ if a woman's unhappiness is due to something outside of the man's control i. e. height, age, skin color then that's not his fault because he can't control it. it's different if it were because he's being abusive but you seem to be targeting superficial factors like age instead of more important factors like personality]
It doesn't matter if it is his fault or not. If a woman is not happy she WILL DIVORCE YOU regardless if it is your fault or not. Young women being married to significantly older men tend to be less happy and divorce more. Statistics and research has proven this already. You can't just argue against this fact because you don't like it.
[women are the ones overwhelmingly filing for divorce, 80% actually and much higher in lesbian divorces. they are the ones who see marriage as a sexual change for protection and resources and divorce is a way they can get more of it]
if divorce rates are already high now where the vast majority of marriages have small age gap. Divorce rates will only increase if the majority of marriages are large age gaps. This is where DIFFERENCES can break your marriage. Its been proven through data that the more similar the couple , the longer the marriage.
[ Then the divorce rate will ONLY BE HIGHER in marriages where large age gaps are common. ]
there's no evidence for this other than you falsely extrapolating non-related percentages. according to your logic, if the USA was a 100% black country then the crime rates would be much higher because 50% of all crime is committed by black people despite black people being less than 13% of the total population of the USA currently
nobody is saying young women don't have more energy than older men, the drop-off is insignificant for men whereas it's a lot more significant for women as times go on. a lot of male pro-athletes in their 40s are still more athletic and energetic than the most fittest of women
[ keep dreaming hun, how many 30 yr olds are having kids with 70 yr olds? maybe less than 2% of the population. ]
how many 70 yo want kids? not many either but that's beside the point because we're talking about energy and capability here
[ You can't just argue against this fact because you don't like it. ]
I'm not arguing against the statistics. I'm disagreeing with the reasoning behind the statistics. even then there are more total divorces of same age marriages than age gap marriages but let's ignore that fact and assume it's age differences when there are more "relatable" marriages ending in divorce
[ Its been proven through data that the more similar the couple , the longer the marriage. ]
the similarities are via morals, ethics, values and culture, not arbitrary factors like skin color, height and age. an older conservative man and a young liberal woman isn't going to work out any better than a young conservative man and a young liberal woman either. the older man might have less tolerance for her BS than the younger man would
@inhua
[there's no evidence for this other than you falsely extrapolating non-related percentages. according to your logic, if the USA was a 100% black country then the crime rates would be much higher because 50% of all crime is committed by black people despite black people being less than 13% of the total population of the USA currently]
there IS EVIDENCE. how? divorce rates are HIGHER IN LARGE AGE GAP marriages. just because you don't like something it doesn't mean its not true.
[nobody is saying young women don't have more energy than older men, the drop-off is insignificant for men whereas it's a lot more significant for women as times go on. a lot of male pro-athletes in their 40s are still more athletic and energetic than the most fittest of women]
thats not true. there's no evidence that this is true either. plus, a woman in her early 20s will always have more energy than the fittest 45 yr old man. Large age gap marriages do not last and tend up being unhappy because at some point in life, she will no longer be attracted to her grandpa husband. He will no longer be able to fuck at some point. Instead of going on hot dates with her husband, she will find herself being a nanny and taking him to the doctors and reminding him to take his medication.
this is why large age gap marriages end up being less happy over time.
@inhua
[I'm not arguing against the statistics. I'm disagreeing with the reasoning behind the statistics. even then there are more total divorces of same age marriages than age gap marriages but let's ignore that fact and assume it's age differences when there are more "relatable" marriages ending in divorce]
there IS EVIDENCE that large age gap marriages tend to have HIGHER DIVORCE RATES.
logically , if most marriages with small age gaps have a 50% divorce rate.
what makes you think that there will be a LOWER divorce rate , if more marriages had a larger age gap?
like i said, you're just arguing against it CUZ YOU DON'T LIKE THIS FACT.
@inhua
[the similarities are via morals, ethics, values and culture, not arbitrary factors like skin color, height and age. an older conservative man and a young liberal woman isn't going to work out any better than a young conservative man and a young liberal woman either. the older man might have less tolerance for her BS than the younger man would]
an older man will have a different sense of humor due to differences in maturity. She might find fart jokes to be funny but he won't. She might be into cosplay events while she is into Broadway. He wants to get married and have kids while she is preparing to travel to different cities to grow her career. She might be rebellious against her parents due to lack of wisdom while he might agree with her parents perspective.
this is why large age gap relationships don't tend to work out. its the same reason why people tend to marry those around their age.
Unlike you, I don't stomp my feet and insist that facts / statistics / data are wrong. I actually think logically and base everything off of facts.
JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE SOMETHING, IT DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT TRUE.
[ there IS EVIDENCE. how? divorce rates are HIGHER IN LARGE AGE GAP marriages. just because you don't like something it doesn't mean its not true. ]
there's no evidence that these age gap relationships are breaking down due to the reasons you're describing. you conveniently ignore the fact that same age relationships break down more than age gap relationships. what's your reasoning for that then?
[ plus, a woman in her early 20s will always have more energy than the fittest 45 yr old man ]
more energy than the fittest 45 year old man? more than LeBron James? more than Tom Brady? more than Mike Tyson? more than David Goggins? more than Roger Federer?
[ logically , if most marriages with small age gaps have a 50% divorce rate.
what makes you think that there will be a LOWER divorce rate , if more marriages had a larger age gap? ]
most marriages with a small age gap do not have a 50% divorce rate. the 50% divorce rate is for all total combined marriages regardless of age. your use of logic is based around false extrapolation of percentages.
do you believe America would have a 50% crime rate if everybody was black because black people statistically commit 50% of all crimes?
fart jokes and hobbies don't make or break a relationship. you can insist on similarities all you want but white male + white female couples actually divorce more than white male + Asian female couples even though white males have more in common with white females than with Asian females.
none of what you've mentioned is specifically age-related. there are older men who are into cosplay and don't want kids. there are younger women who are into Broadway and want kids. younger men can agree with her parents' perspective etc.
@inhua
The bigger the age gap, the shorter the marriage
A five-year age gap statistically means you’re 18% more likely to divorce (versus just 3% with a 1-year age difference), and that rate rises to 39% for a 10-year age difference and 95% for a 20-year age gap. Partners from different generations may have different cultural reference points and values, and polar opposite tastes in music and film, and even friends, and also have different approaches to their sex life, says Fran Walfish, Beverly Hills psychotherapist and panelist on “Sex Box,” a forthcoming We TV relationship therapy show. “Sex drive goes up for women in middle age, but sexual function decreases for men.”
www.marketwatch.com/.../the-bigger-the-age-gap-the-shorter-the-marriage-2014-11-11
It appears that the change happens slowly and has a lot to do with a lack of marital satisfaction. It declines over time. At first, both people feel satisfied. As they grow older, the older person still expresses satisfaction, but the younger person tends not to get as much from the union anymore. This eventually pushes the couple to seek a divorce when the relationship stops working.
Part of the issue could be that people find themselves in different places in life. One person is thinking about their career while the other is considering retirement. One person is in good health while the other has steadily declining health as old age sets in. They may have felt similar, despite their age difference, when they were both younger. Getting older shows them just how different they are, which is why larger gaps prove more problematic.
www.weinmanfamilylaw.com/.../
@inhua
Just because you dont like it, it doesn't mean its not true
@inhua
[because there are people like you constantly chirping in their ear on how much they can do better and therefore ruining the marriage]
Your aging ruins your marriage.
Nobody wants to be married to an old grandpa
what's not true? the biggest age gap marriage ever was over 60 years and didn't result in a divorce. going by your study which also says marriages with an age gap of over 30 years results in a 172% divorce rate (lmao) then this marriage should never have lasted before a divorce was initiated
It will work as long as they talk about the differences and be open with it.
They work go to you tube
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