Should I see a psychologist or a therapist?

[Counterclocking]

I’m a single guy and I can’t ever find the woman of my dreams. Looks will always matter to me regardless. I think dating sites are a waste of time. I don’t want just any kind of woman. She has to look and dress a certain way in order to date me or I’d rather stay single for life.

Updates

1 y

I’m looking for a white woman that has long straight hair down to the shoulders, clear skin (no tattoos or piercings), H-shape body type, wears nice shirts with skirts/dresses, pantyhose, and high heels 👠.

[Alli39]

I mean, I guess if you've built up reasonable, healthy expectations for your relationship then there's not really a reason to for this specifically. Everyone has deal beakers (ex. must not smoke, or must be of the same religion, wants kids). The purpose of these is to make sure that your lifestyles, values, and expectations are compatible.

Looks matter to most people to some extent, you want to be attracted to the person you're talking to after all. The only concern here would be if you have unrealistic preferences to the extant that you aren't able to appreciate positive traits in people unless they have all the traits you're looking for.

And you don't have to use online dating, but if you don't you're probably going to have to go out of your way to meet women organically.

My biggest concern here is that, in listing your expectations in partner you've only listed superficial traits. This in and of itself doesn't automatically merit therapy, but you might need some introspection as to what you think a good partner would actually be like and how much looks/the way the person dresses actually affects your happiness and your relationship.

[Alli39]

Ok, so in response to the update, like, honestly your aesthetic requirements are a little much (?). But like, on in a "that's completely unrealistic" way because there are tons of white female officer workers out there that probably look similar, I'm just confused why these are dealbreakers for you? Like, what does it matter what type of shoes she wears on a day-to-day basis? And a specific hair texture and length? Like, what does the exact length of her hair have to do with how she would act as a partner. I get wanting someone well-dressed if you're also well-dressed, but this is... specific.

[Jazzy54]

What are your preferences?

[Jazzy54]

Why do you think you need to see a therapist?

[Counterclocking]

I feel like I need professional help satisfying my ego without hurting someone. I want to be able to control myself.

[Counterclocking]

I want to know if I should stay single forever.

[Jazzy54]

Oh okay. Well, if you feel like you need professional help, definitely seek it out. Best wishes to you.