How long does it take you to get comfortable with someone?

[Aylensparadise]

[Adunni015]

Interesting question. My poor answer is: it depends.

Sometimes, we have more “chemistry” with some people so we feel comfortable instantly. And I mean “chemistry” because I don’t mean it as the usual-sexual way. I mean, we probably are more familiar with the way he/she is, so it’s easier.

From my experience, sometimes getting comfortable with someone can take time and it’s still worth it. I’ll allow myself to make two examples of these two situations.

I’ve been comfortable with my best friend since the very first day I met her, and I can easily talk to her about anything. It’s probably because we have a lot in common and we’ve been raised practically the same way. So it took NOTHING and zero effort to get comfortable with her.

Now let’s talk about getting comfortable with my actual boyfriend (when he, of course, wasn’t my boyfriend). He was a master classmate and came from another country. At first, I only thought he was hot and had no intentions to engage on any relationship whatsoever, so I just said yes to a drink to get to know him a little and… well.. maybe get some lol.

I thought he was SO DIFFERENT FROM ME. I was very interested in the way he was, but we didn’t seem to really get each other. I really had a hard time getting comfortable with him, and same for him. I felt like he didn’t get my personality. And well.. for quite a while it was just a sexual thing because we liked each other, we had “chemistry” in a sexual way, and he kind of admired each other in so many levels, but we didn't quite get each other so sometimes it was uncomfortable.. or maybe just NOT COMFORTABLE 100%.

I look back and I always think it was the differences in our cultures. We were raised so different, so we actually were very curious about each other and didn’t fully understood each other’s behaviors. Let’s also face we are both very complex people. But besides that, I couldn’t quite get why he was doing certain things and thinking a certain way.

Flashforward 8 months, I’ve never been more comfortable with someone in my entire life. I can talk about everything, and he gets me like no one does. I think I get him like no one else too. It took my some time to understand the background and that made me get him completely. Took a lot of conversations, stories, reflections. And it was so worth it. I would say it took me actually like… 3 months, to get FULLY comfortable.

So yeah. I basically think you can get comfortable with time or instantly, and it will depend on how different your lives and experiences have been. I love both situations. I love finding someone easy to be comfortable with, but I also love meeting people from other cultures or experiences, so different than mine. And I know now it’ll take me a while, but if the person is good and worth it, it will be okay.

[Sour-rose]

me and my husband... took like a few months? Then he became a great friend... then my best friend... then a really good best friend... then years later, we got engaged on a marriage agreement.

Soo if it's someone I can trust and vice versa, few months or so.

[BadApple69]

I have always considered myself a good judge of character.
So for me to get comfortable with someone can be as short as minutes. But if I don’t get a good vibe from a person I’ll never be comfortable with them.

[serious]

Never 100% because I am always alert and cautious to watch out for any negative signs. However, once I know someone to an extent then I will be comfortable enough to express and share certain things.

[cocoaniable]

Pretty long due to my anxiety in social situations, especially when meeting new people :')

Although I personally find it easier to feel more comfortable when I've been talking to someone for a while before meeting vs. a short (er) period between talking & meeting

[MementoMori777]

I think that depends on getting to know them, I've met people I could never be comfortable around them so if you like the way they are then it can take time until you get to know them to a certain point

[Grond21]

How do you define comfortable? As a friend, usually a few times hanging out with some good conversations

[Aylensparadise]

I define it as being able to comfortably reveal your thoughts and opinions on things

[Grond21]

Ahh. It depends on how open they are to thoughts that are not their own. Unfortunately, there is a large chunk of people in America who love to freely say what they believe but are uninterested in hearing anything different. For them, I am never comfortable. They have made it so I won't be.

[_SillyShoes_]

Friends - wise: a long time.

Romantically: a loooooooong time (and we have to spend a lot of time together + get to know each other really well before I can even think about him that way).

[Sharkstealth]

A long time. Longer than most women will actually allow.

[Aylensparadise]

Do your relationship’s usually fall apart before then?

[Sharkstealth]

They never start.

[drwine]

It really depends on the person. If she really makes me feel comfortable easily with a good trust, it won't take long i guess.

[Little_Bumblebee]

Just depends on the other person and the
Communication.

Maybe also what's going on in my life at the time.

[Katebfun]

Depends on the energy/soul of a person. I've felt like "home" around a few special people.

[rachel776]

sometimes right away, sometimes months, sometimes never

[LiamJHayden]

Anywhere from ten minute to "will never happen."

[Anonymous]

Maybe about 10 years. If they haven't flaked in that time They're probably a keeper.

[FenixG45]

Depends on the person, but attraction and connection are a big factor

[Nominal]

climbing on the opposite sex break the ice.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Depends on the context.

[Christoff92]

Depending on how will it goes.

[jahaims]

Depends on the context

[Chris123432169]

It depends could be days could be mins

[Nikki1989]

A few minutes to never.

[andy530]

Really depends on the person

[Mansearching]

Comfortable doing what?

[Lokiion]

A couple of minutes

[BumbleStix]

depends on the person

[OddBeMe]

Too long to even try.

[John-spark-naked]

It depends on situation

[BigDog1989]

Long

[DerekC321]

A while.

[shortster]

A few weeks

[sheikalana]

Months.

[jimmy2]

Not long

[riverrat3]

Awhile