Should you let a guy know you’re very insecure when you first start talking?

[Anonymous]

Is that important to tell someone that instead of being hurt when he finds out and leaves…

[DaveJord]

Yes, it's very important that you say it upfront. I mean honestly, I have been with woman, then pick up on things over time... comes to find out she is a survivor of sexual assault.

One of the first things I ask woman not days, is you prone to anxiety? Did you have a positive childhood parental influence... things like that... things that would drive at insecurities and get her talking before when start dating.

Sexual assualt or abuse is a big one serious. Do not have sex or date a guy without out telling him first trust me. Guys when it's not right and something is off. Do not risk getting involved with a man without tell him first about your insecurities... and its always better when you can tell him specifically what drives that insecurity.

Now if you are an insecure person and you have no clue as to why, then yeah... that's an immediate RED FLAG.

[Anonymous]

If you think your insecurity is deep enough that it's a problem then yes. Because he cannot read your mind. But keep in mind sharing, means sharing. You can't decide you're going to share then start getting all cryptic. The only thing you'll come off of then is manipulative because this is a COMMON tactic used by women to extract attention and compliments from a guy. It's why a lot of women who CLAIM to be shy are in actuality really just closet narcissists.

[Anonymous]

I would take some time to work on myself before dating if you feel the need to disclose this. I mean sure you can mention it, but to me the underlying message “get ready for a future of reassuring me often, dealing with my overthinking and having to pay for the damage another man did”. That would make anyone backpedal. It’s ok to not be 100%, but you should be able to enter a new situation with less prominent trauma, that way you’re both getting a clean slate and he doesn’t have to walk on eggshells as not to trigger your insecurities.

[Ms_Facesitter]

It's best to say it when you first start talking, but don't leave it at that, let him know what that insecurity is, why, ... Just saying that you're very insecure and leaving it there, just leaves the other person with a lot of questions.

[DerekC321]

If he cares about you it's cool to talk about it