What does it mean when you’re insecure or self conscious around someone upon meeting?

[Clayaya]

There’s this guy that I met at work. We’re both 21. Both in college. He seems like a cool guy. He’s smart & witty but so am I. Every encounter has been okay but normally I am naturally much more confident & outgoing. He says I’m smart & is overly sexual around me. When I’m around him I feel like I can’t be myself. I become much more reserved. Insecure almost. As if he’s judging me even when he isn’t. Why?

It’s like I have an innate need for his approval & I haven’t even known him very long. I don’t think he knows he has this affect on me. I don’t like it.

[Trev4444]

You're self doubting yourself to self preserve. It's your sub concious kicking in protecting your emotions from pain. That's why you're scared to be yourself because if he doesn't like an aspect of your true personality it will hurt you so your ego shuts down those parts of your personaltity to protect your feelings. You just gotta try and not give a damn there will always be another guy just put yourself out there and if he thinks you're weird then he ain't for you and keep moving.

[pizzalovershouse]

You may have doubts about them

[pizzalovershouse]

Thanks for mho

[btbc92]

You don't feel comfortable around this person and your gut feeling is telling to avoid them. Listen to your Gut. He just wants sex. And it's right in front of you. It also means you see yourself as low your attracting somebody who is also low. You are who you attract. Don't date him. Trust me what I say, you'll feel sexually used.

[btbc92]

Remember that the right kind of person doesn't make you feel insecure and it's feels consistent with no confusion.

[Clayaya]

Thank you very much. I believe this is what’s actually happening. I was just confused because he hasn’t done anything wrong per se but he still rubs me the wrong way. I’m going to keep my distance from him.

[btbc92]

Please do. Not listening to your intuition is the worse thing you can do for yourself and wished you'd listen sooner. Take lessons from me. I dodged bullets from guys like that. Don't regret it. Regret that I didn't follow through on other things...

[Stan83]

In some way you are admiring him and looking for his approval. Nobody deserves this. The only person you have to get approval is you. Be careful it’s not a healthy situation.

[razelove]

It sounds like he's insecure too, just expressing it a different way. It just means you're worried when you're insecure, about money, the future, whether someone likes you or not.

If it's a situational thing I wouldn't worry about it too much, sometimes we all get "the vapors" when someone new hits us hard and makes us all silly and light headed.

If it's a constant thing, work on your confidence, but it doesn't sound like it. Just like he needs to be aggressive to cover his insecurity, and you feel a need to be liked for the same. You like each other, pursue it.

[Anonymous]

You have to explore what this means within yourself. It is normal for us to be overly concerned with what a potential partner thinks about us, but i wouldn't say it was healthy. For a man its death, you must not show weakness and for a woman its dangerous you open yourself up to exploitation and abuse. So you should define you, no one else. You just be you and if he doesn't like it then nevermind, someone else will.

What is it about it that you dont like?

Is he controlling or manipulating you?

Are you being love bombed?

Is he mirroring you?

Do you know what a narcissist is? Not saying he is but its possible.

How does he react to and deal with critism?

Can he take no for an answer?

[markscott]

Some people are just shy or insecure, whenever they are meeting someone new. So being shy or insecure, in itself, doesn't mean anything about what they think about you. But if there is an increases self consciousness around you, compared to other women, or other people, then that tends to mean they are interested in you.

[PrudentGuy]

LOL! This is the effect of infatuation! 😄😄🙃

We simply worry if we do something stupid or silly we'll lose that person.

It's very natural and normal.

When I'm in this situation, i fake it. 😄😄😄

Ya. The my best to pretend that I'm not interest, then play a little hard to get.

When she take notice, I relaxes a little until we become at ease with each other. It may take weeks.

[Anno2]

Cute. You're emotionally attracted and don't know how to deal with it.

Humans like many animals have a bonding ritual to make sure both partners are emotionally invested. Your "insecurity" creates submissive cues like zygomatic smiles and downward staring which are designed to make him move forward and feel the same feelings.

Maybe read some works of anthroplogists like Givens but you're definitely looking for love in this case.

[ChillMatic]

It just sounds like you may have a major crush on the guy. Try taking control of the conversation. Maybe he is too much of an alpha and it gets in the way of you expressing yourself naturally. I know how some people can be somewhat overwhelming when communicating and it isn't something you're used to. You have to adapt to his personality in order to get your true self to come out.

[cyrazu]

Well I will try to be blunt and tell him about how u feel and that his presence has this effect on u"dont use presence" I'm sure when u speak to him about this you will return to normal. Sorry if this shit sounds cliche

[Clayaya]

He’ll probably think I’m weird af

[cyrazu]

No everyone is a little weird but it's a matter of if he likes u despite that that matters. Always speak from your heart even if it sounds stupid and I know cause I'm stupid and I learned from heartbreak and love as well. So tell him

[Jwags]

Well, it seems like you are concerned about what he thinks about you because you would like to possibly get in a relationship with him? I think it is pretty normal. Just take a deep breath, be confident and be yourself! Sounds like he is into you! Why don't you ask him to grab a drink?

[TheAteam1978]

Lol sounds like someone knocked you off ur game young lady. Take a breath, step back and really think why he is having this affect on you! If you rush it and he is a jerk he will manipulate all these feelings you are having and emotionally hurt you! Good luck girl!

[AustinMan]

I guess like me you post a different age than is true in your GAG profile.

It sounds to me like you're interested in the guy but are put off by this control he's asserting. Are you normally submissive sexually?

[Red_Mushroom]

If you became self conscious upon meeting someone that this is clearly singn of a love feeling or a good affection towards them...
Continue this for 1-2 months and if you still feels this way than you should be in love with him..

[Jjpayne]

It could mean that you really like him and feel shy around him. I'd give it time and allow yourself to gain confidence around him, spend more time with him until you are comfortable being around him

[reptocarl]

I think it means you’re super attracted to him and are afraid of saying or doing something stupid that’ll embarrass you and turn him off

[Avicenna]

Well, some nervousness and some feelings of self-consciousness are normal for most people. Just don't let them dominate your thoughts.

[MrOracle]

You're smitten with the guy. That's fairly common behavior for a smitten person.

[Browneye57]

It's called 'attraction'. You don't want to fuck it up. Don't worry, you won't, just enjoy and get to know. You just don't have any idea where it will go, so just let it.

[Nikki1989]

It means you like the person so you are being extra cautious not to say something or do something that will scare that person away, hence self-consciousness.

[humanearth]

Hell I'm in my 50s and that still happens to me. I can't explain it. This even goes for non-dating relationships to.

[Helloagain1234]

Well u won't him or want his approval at least. The real question is why?

[Clayaya]

Omg I never thought about this. Lmao this feels like therapy. I guess bc he seems cool & smart. I want him to see me the same way.

[Shiver]

My guess is that you met an alpha male that matches your level of intensity tbh.