Is sexting cheating?

[Anonymous]

4 weeks postpartum just found my husband sexting on an explicit website and looking threw web history found that he was looking at a dating website. I’m not sure how to feel, he could’ve clicked on the dating website on accident, but also he has been acting pretty weird to me and not speaking to me since our baby shower a couple days ago. What are some warning signs he’s cheating or thinking about it?

Updates

+1 y

It was on an explicit website not with someone else he knows does that change things?

Updates

+1 y

Yes we have twins! And yes my parents want me to leave him. I just want him to stay at his moms or something to cool off because he’s not talking to me and maybe the space will help him think. I agree we need to better the relationship regardless if we are together or not. I did try to speak with him months ago about plans as a parent and pregnancy and he just told me he doesn’t like to plan, he wants to go with the flow. So he shut me down multiple times.

[Apple1996]

If you don't allow sexting in your relationship then yes it is emotional cheating

[Asker]

Yeah I’m not sure that I like it

[Apple1996]

It's really messed up if he is doing that while you are postpartum. He is suppose to be supporting you and the baby. That's where his focus should be right now

[Asker]

It was on an explicit website not with another person does that change anything?

[Apple1996]

It's up to you if that's a issue for your relationship or not

[Asker]

Thankyou for your help

[BarryLiverstone]

You just found out. Which means he was hiding it. That’s cheating

[Asker]

Yeah he did this while I was asleep.

[Asker]

But my question is, like this was on like a porn site where he was speaking with the girls is that different?

[BarryLiverstone]

Nope. It’s cheating regardless. Did you know he was doing it?

[Asker]

No I had no idea, we actually haven’t been getting along the past several days. And I saw that today. I tried to tell him to sleep somewhere else but he won’t leave and he won't speak to me.

[BarryLiverstone]

So that’s cheating

[Asker]

How do I get him to leave my house?

[BarryLiverstone]

You don’t. He’s your husband

[Asker]

So what do I do?

[BarryLiverstone]

Talk to him about your post pardon plan. Before you delivered you both sat down and created a strategy for after pregnancy and how to handle vibes. Revisit that plan

[Asker]

Actually there wasn’t anything spoken about besides wearing a condom so I wouldn’t get pregnant again to quickly. And we are not actually married just living together and have babies together

[BarryLiverstone]

You said it was your husband. So I assumed you had done the research on what the 9 months after having a baby are like for both partners and how he needs to support you through that time

[Asker]

Yes I did call him my husband, it’s silly that we refer to each other that way and we are not married. I’m not sure he really realizes the magnitude of being a parent. But it feels like he’s pulling in the wrong direction

[BarryLiverstone]

This is why you gotta talk to him and ask him for support. Knowing your hormones are in flux and your body is still in recovery he should be more open to doing what you need. But he’s not a mind reader, right?

[Asker]

I have spoken to him. I’m 5 weeks postpartum. He is aware of what I need, he didn’t even help me in the hospital. Now we’re home and I’m moving furniture and doing everything myself still. I have tried communicating with him he won’t say a word. How can I communicate when he won’t even speak? I’m genuinely asking. I don’t know what to do

[Asker]

So what is my next option that I should try when option a isn’t working? I’m trying

[BarryLiverstone]

So you are living with him but not communicating. Then you would find other ways to survive. You mentioned him moving out. Is this your house?

[Asker]

It’s my parents house yes. I am trying my best to communicate but he won’t even look at me. I’m open to finding other ways to survive

[BarryLiverstone]

It sounds like you and him are having a fight rn. Him not helping in the hospital not only shows his commitment to you but also to his child. Those actions are not good. Do you parents live with you all?

[Asker]

Yeah we are having a fight I guess that’s why he won’t talk or look at me. And yea they live here. He disrespected them yesterday as well. And i tried to talk to him about that too. Yeah when I was pregnant he made me sleep on the floor and treat him like a king and serve him he never helped me with anything. I had to give him massage every night. So when I was in the hospital he refused to help me, I had a c-section I couldn’t walk. He told me that’s why there are nurses. But its a lot more stuff than just that. I am seeing red flags, a lot of them. It makes me sad for my babies, he didn’t really seem to be as excited anymore. And our babies were planned, this was not a mistake.

[BarryLiverstone]

Multiple kids? Well if you are in your parents house then trust they prioritize you above him. So that answers throwing him out.. they would encourage you to do that if they saw him as abusive.

I’d say for the next few months just try to survive and see what he does. Ultimately you should check out therapy or counseling as they are red flags but he’s the father and you need tools to better live as partners for the next 18 years.

[BarryLiverstone]

As a guy, I’d say he isn’t ready to get married and now that you can’t give him sex he’s cheating on you because he still gets horny everyday. That should have been part of the plan I mentioned earlier

[Asker]

My reply accidentally is in my bio lol but yes we can try counseling but I am not working right now and he doesn’t want to pay for it. I’m not sure anymore he is serious about marriage

[BarryLiverstone]

He clearly isn’t serious about marriage. Stop referring to him as your husband. Your parents may have a point.

[Asker]

Thankyou , you are probably right unfortunately

[ohmyguy]

If it's done in secret yes

[Sonorous]

girl

[Anonymous]

It's a form of emotional cheating

[BigDog1989]

Yup!

[BigDog1989]

Having kids, doesn't help a relationship. It often makes it worse. This was likely boiling BEFORE kids. He cheated hun. Have some self respect for yourself!, MOVE ON

[Anonymous]

Yes.