How do I tell a girl who I’ve known for years that I’m slowly falling in love with her?

[Anonymous]

How do I tell a girl who I’ve known for years that I’m slowly falling in love with her but I know I can’t have her because she’s talking to other guys on dating apps?

[Ozanne]

Her talking to other guys on dating apps is allowed because right now she's single and not your girlfriend. You are acquainting talking with guys on apps to mean she's in love with them or in relationships with them. That's not how it works. She's obviously seeking a relationship, otherwise she wouldn't be on those apps. She likely has no idea that you're the one who has been there all along, because all this time you've been clammed up as friends.

So how you tell her should be left with some open-ended remarks that can get a feel for how she feels about you.

You can joke with her, "Why are you on those apps when I'm all you need?" Or tell her that you're not on those apps yourself because it's almost as if she's already the woman in your life, so why bother?

Give her a question to make her think about why you're asking such as: "Do you think I'd have a shot with a girl like you?" That way if it goes wrong, you can just say it was hypothetical.

It depends how much you want to save this friendship because one false move and it could change things for good. It's either the best thing that the two of you will have, or it will sour the friendship with thoughts of romantic feelings that aren't being reciprocated.

[strawberrybaby3]

I’d be very careful with how you do this. If you’re really good friends with her, you don’t want to make it awkward if she doesn’t feel the same way. If you aren’t that close with her, maybe try getting closer to her and talking with her more and see how she responds to that and then take it from there. But back to the friendship, if you two are close , maybe see if she is showing any mutual interest before saying anything. Or maybe find a way to ask her if she’d ever consider being with someone who she’s been friends with for years. Ask her questions to get a feel for the situation first.

[Asker]

I’m pretty sure we’re close friends just not how close we are exactly…

[exitseven]

Okay- you need to make a speech in your head about how you are going to break the news to her. It would not be crazy talk to rehearse it either. Make up your mind and when you are alone with her you need to spill your guts. She probably won't be surprised and maybe she has feelings for you. You need to get this done or it will be a big regret you will carry for the rest of your life. Even if she turns you down you gave it your best shot. You can live with that

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO

[OlderAndWiser]

1. The fact that she is talking to other guys doesn't mean you cannot date her.

2. "Falling in love" before the first date usually indicates that someone is desperate to fall in love and they have found someone who can play the role of their love interest. It is usually a horrible warning sign and it sends people running.

3. If you aren't going to pursue a romantic relationship with her, why would you tell her how you feel?

[lightbulb27]

Tell her in a cheeky fun way. give her an out, but let her know your stance.

don't even mention this "I can't date you crap". stop the negativity. be the man, grow up. eventhough you are like...18 and stuff...

watch videos on flirting talking to girls, what they respond to. time to learn.

[exitseven]

@lightbulb27 It is amazing the DIY videos they have on You Tube.

[lightbulb27]

@exitseven in 5 min can learn to properly torque bolts and chat up girls, it's quite amazing technology. no such thing existed 40yrs ago. "We all" snapped a bolt and had to have dad tap and drill it out. And figure everything out by trial and error...

[exitseven]

I replaced the side mirror on my Chevy Tahoe. There is a secret trick to it that I never would have figured out but You tube had a video on the exact model and I did it in about a half hour

[Anonymous]

That's easy. YOU DON'T!

It won't change anything, and the only thing you'll do is humiliate yourself to either 1. Give her a temporary ego boost or 2. Creep her out. Or 3. Potentially both. I know it's weird, but women are weird like that. They may not like you, but they still enjoy you stroking their ego even if you're creepy (so long as you're harmless creepy).

[ShesRad80]

take a chance and just do it in person. regret nothing in life and shoot your shot, goodluck to you!!!

[artgorgeous]

You have to do this by actually telling her that in person. Until it's not too late because of the dating apps.

[Subwayco]

You’ll find a way if she gives you a sign she feels the same way. She probably knows already that you have interest in her.

[Twalli]

If she's on dating apps she hasn't found a guy yet. You could still get her.

[OddBeMe]

Well you’re lucky she’s not dating or married already. I’d just ask her out. Best way to me, would be to get her to think of you romantically instead of friendship asap.

[SolitarySolace]

Tell her you want her to ruin your life because that is 110% what will happen down the road

[Anonymous]

She may think you manipulated her: being her friend, getting her vulnerable, etc. just so you’ll have a shot. Lots of men do that. .

[william191]

@zillllll lLol, what? From my experience using the Victoriyaclub dating app here I can conclude that it's a fantastic tool for finding a girlfriend for long-term relationships

[Gabriel-Chicanito]

Ask'er out.

If She accepts-somewhere along the date kiss'er!

And it could mark the beginning of a relation..

[Adaeva]

Don't tell her. It will drive her away.

[zillllll]

Dating apps don’t really count I say go for it man

[Fromdusktilldawn]

dont dude, you'll get your heart broken