Is it weird to meet his parents before dating?

[Anonymous]

Me (f25) & this guy (m24) have been talking for about 2 months now. We talk everyday & spend 2-3 nights a week with each other. Recently we had the conversation of “What are we?” & he asked if i would go to church with him & meet his family (parents & siblings). He says he wants me to be apart of his & his family’s lives. I’m just a little confused because we haven’t even made it official & I've never met a guys parents before dating. Is this weird? Should i be worried or happy?

[NamerOfStars]

Weird? Yes. A red flag? Probably not. Most likely, he's either kind of old-fashioned, or has seen the benefits of having a strong family presence in his life, and wants to either show you off or have his family members get to know you.

Neither of those is a bad thing, despite what you might think at first. I grew up in a large extended family with strong presences in one another's lives, and it provided an incredible level of social and intellectual support. Unfortunately, that was rare even when I was a kid, and is all but gone now. But even an immediate family presence is a good thing. It doesn't mean you have no spine and can't stand up to them, or have to get their approval before doing anything; it means you've got people who have your back, come what may. I suppose it's POSSIBLE that your man IS, in fact, a spineless worm, but that at least has the virtue of revealing itself quickly.

Another possibility is that he's had a bad relationship or two in the past, and is questioning his judgement, so he wants you to meet his family so they can vet you. That may seem worrisome, but in and of itself it's probably okay; a capacity for accurate self-assessment is a good thing in a partner, even to the extent of "I can't do this reliably and need some help". And hey, you'd eventually meet them anyway, right? Unless you're worried that they'll all gang up and attack you at church, or attempt to bind you to the altar and sacrifice you to their god (which would be both horrifying AND refreshingly direct, so far as evil cults go, and is VERY unlikely in either case), you should be fine. It's odd, yeah, but it's forthright, and if you show you can roll with oddness, he'll appreciate you all the more- we're ALL a little odd. Every last one of us, save those few who are very odd.

[Apple1996]

Nah its probably a good thing to meet the parents

[Anonymous]

Weird and also very awkward.

[boobliker]

Yes, and before dating

[Iron_Man]

Be happy you’re going to church