Boyfriend says I cause fights , but is this really me causing a fight?

[Anonymous]

So I don’t understand. Boyfriend says I cause every single fight we have. So I’ll give an example , If I say something he deems idiotic or something that’s “common sense and everyone knows” he gets annoyed at me and then says I started a fight.

So somehow me annoying him , not on purpose, is me starting a fight? Is that how it works? Because I’m so confused. I genuinely don’t intend starting a fight it ends up being one and I get blamed :( I don’t think I’ve ever intentionally started one I’m the most non confrontational person ever but he says I start all of them?

[slatyb]

"Boyfriend says I cause every single fight we have." Is this fun? Why are you still with him? Find someone you can be around without fighting constantly. I've been with my wife for many years and we never fight.

[WhitneySnow]

He sounds like he’s projecting (just learned that word lol)

[Asker]

Projecting what though? Or is gaslighting? I’m so confused like I don’t understand how I seem to start fights but he is convinced it’s all because of me

[WhitneySnow]

He’s the one that starts them but he blames you. That’s projecting.

[Asker]

Weird. He convinces me it’s me that starts them, and I often think maybe I do

[WhitneySnow]

I don’t think you do. He’s projecting.

[Asker]

Why would he do that? Never really heard of projecting

[WhitneySnow]

He’s projecting his own behavior onto you. He doesn’t want to accept blame for starting the fights, so he blames you.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Sounds exhausting. Go find someone stable.

[Smashingdoozy]

Sounds like he's a dick

[TheSpaceGnome]

He sounds like an ass.