After meeting a guy at a speed dating event, he replies to my texts but doesn’t initiate. I need some help, what do I do?

[Anonymous]

So I met this guy at a speed dating event. The event made it that numbers were exchanged if the women asked. I exchanged numbers with one of the guy’s I met and connected with. (He had mine and vice versa). I reached out first after a few days and he’s responded immediately but it’s kind of surface, and I’ve kinda been the one to initiate the conversations. I’m a little unsure if I even should initiate asking to hangout, any advice on what should be my next move?

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah that's always tricky when you meet someone cool but they're not really taking the lead. A few things I'd think about:

- He may not be super into you if he's not putting in his own effort to chat or make plans. I'd give it another message or two tops, keep it light, see if he starts taking over the conversating.

- Next time you text, throw out a casual idea to hang like "hey I'm gonna grab a burger after work, you wanna come meet up?" That puts the ball in his court easy to say yes or make another plan.

- If he hits you with another lukewarm response, I'd probably call it. Playing too much chase game will get old quick. Dude should wanna chat you up!

- Don't stress over it - speed dating is hit or miss. His loss if he's not interested. On to the next one, my man!

- You could also straight up ask if he wants to get together or if he's just being polite responding. Rip the Band-Aid off! At least you'll know for sure then.

Hope it works out but don't sweat it too much either way. You'll find someone who wants to chat you up on their own too.

[UF20052024]

Well, that depends on the context of your conversations too. He might just be a shy or bashful guy who is trying to respect you. However, if he lets a conversation die easily then he might not be into you. He knows you want a relationship if you were at a speed dating event... so he would want to text you and make plans. I tested a guy with that and he didn't let 24 hours go by without talking.

[Asker]

He does reply fairly quickly when I text. But I don't know, I may test him by just asking him out and see what happens.

[UF20052024]

yes, if it does go badly, would you have to face him again? If not then go for it. If it doesn't make the situation uncomfortable then you either have closure or a positive outcome.

[Pterodon]

Ask him out