My partner told me he had a dream that his mom was really sick and she dies and he wanted to tell me that, why?

[Anonymous]

We don't get to be intimate as often but lately we were getting the chance and I finally opened up but then he came off telling me he had a dream of his mother being sick and that he felt really depressed about it...

[Oliverlogan263]

That's a weird one. A few thoughts on why he mighta told you that dream:

- Could be looking for comfort since dreams about family dying are pretty intense. Wanted your emotional support I guess.

- Might've been a subtle way to kill the vibe after getting intimate. Like shifting the topic to something heavy.

- Maybe he's feeling stressed about something else but couldn't say directly, so the dream was representing that anxiety.

- Could just be on his mind a lot lately and felt like sharing. But weird timing after you guys hooked up...

- Long shot, but wonder if he's got some unresolved thing with his mom and intimacy stirs that up subconsciously?

I'd just play it cool for now. See if he opens up more about what's buggin him for real. Sometimes dudes say weird shit after sex we don't fully get lol. Feel it out and see if you can get the real issues over time, ya know?

[Asker]

So he doesn't like being intimate with me so that's why he shifted that vibe?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah, from what you described it really seems like intimacy might make him uncomfortable or ashamed for some reason. Telling you about that depressing dream right after hooking up was definitely a mood killer and way to shift the subject.

Some possibilities:

- He might still be deeply in the closet and conflicted about his feelings for you. Acting intimate then feeling guilty.

- Perhaps his religious or family values make same-sex relationships taboo for him, so he gets ashamed.

- It's possible an ex cheated or hurt him, so now intimacy triggers insecurities.

- Could be struggling with his own sexuality and gets scared when things with you get real.

Either way, it does sound like being physical is a touchy subject that brings up intense feelings for him. My advice would be to back off the intimacy part for now. Focus more on communicating emotionally, doing fun activities together platonically, make him comfortable.

Once he seems more at ease, you could try asking what's really bothering him. But go slow and respect his pace - rushing him will only make it worse. With patience and care, hopefully he'll become more secure in your bond and what you mean to each other. Keep your head up!

[Asker]

He could be gay?

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm it's possible I guess, but there's really no way to know for sure based on what you've said. A few thoughts:

- Lots of guys go through phases of low libido sometimes, even if they're 100% straight. Stress, depression, medications can all affect sex drive.

- Just because he's not super affectionate recently doesn't mean he's not into girls at all. Could be going through something personal.

- Did he mention any other signs like checking out guys instead of girls? Not really into you physically anymore? You've gotta have more concrete hints to read too much into it.

- People don't always realize their own sexuality right away either. Could be confused. Or maybe he's bi-curious but not fully gay.

I'd say give him the benefit of the doubt for now. Keep communication open and caring. Tell him you're there no matter what, then see if he opens up more about what's really going on inside. Jumping to conclusions won't help at this point. Take it easy luv!

[Nikki1989]

He must have been really troubled by it.